Random Facts About You Xlix

..

 

you win

 

i made pizza with the home made sauce tonight.....i have a few days alone here....

 

I'm about 5 months into recovery on my overuse of internet porn,which is in my mind is one of the freakiest and mind-blowing scams in the history of the evolution of the male psyche.This syndrome predominantly causes greater damage to the single isolated male with unchecked access to broadband.The sheer volume of free streaming material and the increasingly hardcore aggression of a lot of the material on mainstream pornsites is enough to completely bamboozle the mind and has the avowed intention of ruining otherwise innocent souls with a moronic agenda instantaneously gratification and what amounts to a form of virtual rape.When engaged in viewing online porn there is a large disconnect between what the viewer would find acceptable in real life and what his seduced libido will let himself view online.Exposure to porn secretes similar chemicals to those released when taking cocaine.Some people are able to maintain a moderate porn habit with little concern,and I'm fine with that,but personally I had to pulp out of my porno adventure,for the sake of my right minded principles and essentially innocent and sensitive creative soul.I' opening up here because maybe I will help others with similar dilemmas.There is enough misery and frustrated angst in the world as it is threatening the well-being of all the young impressionable youth of today as they must learn to negotiate the limits of their own transgression,so I say reject this overwhelming torrent of the commodities body and let us learn once again to touch self with self,to share in the joyful intimacy of the gentle art of loving.A part of me has a great and beastlike appetite for visual sexual stimulation.It basically stops me thinking,like visual heroin,but the contempt I now have towards it far and away outstrips my desire to use again.
L

 

i picked up an already cooked chicken and made some swiss chalet sauce

 

I just wanted to open up the porn issue,for the hell of it.

 

I only use one porn site.. It was hacked recently and that geek site said it was free of malware now. a few weeks ago some vids would redirect , I posted in my status WTF MALWARE! other users status post fuck malware Im out, fuck this site is ruined now, and a few people retired accounts. I have some faith in the site its running clean lol now admin insists its to make the site free of malware and viruses. . we've over 4000 friends contacts on there. I assume some are hip forum users from time to time....

 

i don't partake....in my entire life the actual porn might add up to 10 hours over 55 years

 

i do that stuff in real life....way better.....

 

RL vids generate income. sweating sock vid earning $1000 a month. why work when you can stay home and play with sock puppets..

 

i don't mean i video sex in rl.....i mean i have sex in rl......lol

 

still cant find info on my blanket...checked tag and apparently its called a robe lol....it doesnt have snaps or flaps or lace holes though like the regular sleeping bag do...and the lining is nice dark blue instead of the usual grey

 

I have a very powerful and intense attraction to the female form in all it's manifestations.I think I am hardwired to a perhaps over the top level desire.But this has often in the past involved many voyeuristic escapades,as I am at the same time ashamed with the polymorphously sexualy perverse nature of some of my darkest fantasies.When in fact all I really want is a woman to show me just one ounce of physical affection.I am not naturally a hardcore fuck machine in real life and am generally a considerate and attentive lover.Of course a bit of ass spanking doesn't go amiss sometimes,but my strongly dom inner fantasy world has found it frustrating not to meet a sub woman who would actively encourage some of my kinkier fascinations whilst at the same time absolving me of any guilt for desires which are after all within the spectrum of adult sexuality.

 

that guy suge knight killed today was the black sargeant in mccloud



http://youtu.be/LHOS4D-Ws2U?t=6m16s

 

i feel most often much the same way about other humans, that cats feel about other cats.

i like people. i just don't find them as interesting as most other things in the universe.

but i don't like seeing people screw everything up for each other.

i don't find money or possession for the sake of impressing anyone very interesting either.

mechanical things, not related to automobiles, and things in nature, its complixity and convolutedness of forms, those absolutely fascinate me.

making things, exploring things, i guess i've said all that.

there's probably not a whole lot else about me to say.

i like affection, but i don't like ever to have to not be doing other things that interest me for the sake of it.

i've never understood this whole 'family thing', or why anyone would want to spend eternity in the presence of any one thing.

 

When we're gone we're gone.An eternal and infinite nothingness that is not even experienced as such because their is no sentient entity to longer endure.Although as you know I dabble with Buddhism,have little cause to believe in the transmigration of the soul or the imputation of any form of reincarnation at all,as I have several philosophical objections which I won't go into here at this juncture.Even if there were some omniscient creator being surely it would be his greatest gift to release us from the shackles of consciousness and the routines of mind formations and even pleasures which in themselves can become a drudgery.Class myself as being a spiritual materialist if that makes any sense.I believe in the supernature of being as it is here now,but theorize that the connection between the gross body and the ethereal body finally severs at point of death.For however much I enjoy transcendental meditation in this one life,an eternity of expanded cosmic bliss,of merging with the timeless void of some supposed Godhead would be for me a form of existential prison.So I wish for the eternal no-being,no more mind-problem of the candle of sensation to be snuffed out,leaving only waves as small from this point onwards as small as possible,as I have already given rise to enough great waves for this one lifetime that I either choose at sometime time to end or do the honourable thing and try and negotiate whatever serendipities or malcontents await me.

 

every possibility is one possibility among an infinity of possibilities. that makes the probability of any one thing we can think of, real enough, but only a one in infinity chance of it.
infinite non-existence seems no more intuitively likely to my gut, then infinite existence of any one kind.
so a kind of serial mortality, in which we are born, live, and die, each time on a totally random world, makes a kind of sense to me.

what science now knows of the brain, would make it unlikely for memories to travel well, from one life to another.
and yet, there is, something other then memories, that defines the individual uniqueness of each of us.

and every world is different from every other world.

so the possibility that we wink out completely, and for a longer period of time then any of our lives, with not experience of that time, only to again, after that time of not existing, come into some, possibly entirely other sort, of existence, seems no less likely, then either the winking out from then on, nor any sort of continuous state, thereafter.

possibilities being endless, that of something being experienced some part of the time between lives, is not entirely out of the question either.

 

On a purely practical level we reincarnate into the gene pool through procreation and it is not completely out of the question that specific memories could be subconsciously transferred from life to life which Is why I believe there is a teleological dimension to evolution rather than it being just a case of blind natural selection.I've said several times on these forums that for me something's are just infinitely and eternally impossible even given an infinite and eternal universe or series of multiverses.Maybe actual Gods exists on other planets or realms of being who attained Godhead through supernatural evolution,with immense powers and longevity,having solved all their existential problems.But it could still be the case that even these Gods are unable to fathom the contradictions of eternity and infinity,the seeming impossibility of the universe being bounded or infinite in extension,and be able to explain the apparent popping into existence of fields of physically energetic expanses of matter as if from nowhere,for no other reason than existence is marginally more probable than complete non existence,which to my mind is a conceptual impossibility for us to imagine,as "no space" still implies an emptiness with qualities and durations,similar in the way we have to imagine the concept of zero even as it represents a state of "no thing".

 

I have snow....that's it....no deep life thoughts and bullshit excuses why i'm a knob

I just am.....

.....Yabba dabba doo......snow......

 

We got more snow on top of the ice. Will likely be getting even more snow all weekend.