Free Psychotic Readings

Tell me your shit and I'll do the best to give you the psychotic perspective you need for it.

Surely one of my personalities will have the answer you need.
GJS

 

Where the fuck do you get off calling me the angel of death?

 

Intergalactic

kill the children

kill the children

Intergalactic



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qORYO0atB6g

 

The only angel of death is PCP. Few people can be compared to them. If you spin 3 times while wearing a red plastic pig mask, you will feel better.

 

Angel smangel. Have another brew. Maybe the Philistines won't be coming for you.

 

Jackie, carry an orange lighter. Phillip, lose some fucking weight man, have some pride. Dick, you know who you are. Sheila, I think you look wonderful in glasses, I'd do you handily. Roobs, there ain't no sunshine when you're gone, and you're always gone too long. Victory, why did your parents choose such a weird name? Same to you Hennessy. Dog liver is poisonous to humans, but the rest of the dog is perfectly edible. The Lemurs will keep you up all freakin night, get a really loud fan. Save old pennies and old nickels in case you ever have to build a post-EMP battery. Learn how to make soap.

Plant Morning Glories and Rosemary. Always have a seashell in the house. Jamil, your bakery is amazing. Charlotte was a hot little crabtree. Fuji has many graves, one is not human. Absinthe makes the heart beat really thump. Eat more peppers, bananas and acorn squash, you'll feel fabulous. Quit overloading on B vitamins and ALL that god damned vitamin C you take. Love is the drug and I need to score. It takes a freeway lady, to lead a double life.

It's either real or it's a dream, there's nothing that is in between but twilight.

 

Do you still remember getting your hand caught in the door? Have a cigar, or buy a new plant. The umbrella, why the hell did you forget the fucking umbrella? Save that seed, the one that gets in your shoe while you're jogging. Eat a peach. How did it get into the water, and why the pants? What does that patch mean? You'll wish they didn't burn plastic bottles and play that damned Indian music all afternoon, but nobody else will care. Keep a bobby pin in your wallet. Put a mustache on your driver's license picture. Don't you think she deserves another? Is that my mother on the phone?

Ku ku Hachooooo. Don't snort pollen. Give me Frito's corn chips and I'll be your friend.

Again, more fiber, how many times do you have to be told? Eat some roughage or you'll plug up with that cheese habit you have.

 

Do NOT rob that bank. Margie is a bitch who still owes you $35. Butter, bacon, breasts and brandy.

 

I have to head out across the world for a while. So I will leave these predictions for 2016 and I look forward to returning to hip forums in 2017.
I think there will be at least 1 assassination attempt or seriously viable threat against someone associated with a US presidential candidate. Too general? I think someone will take a shot at Trump and I think it will be someone weirdly connected to the Bush family or the Clintons. The shot will miss because the shooter had to borrow a rifle after the one he had been training with was stolen from his grandmother's Buick while she was having Dialysis. If she had not stopped at the grocery store to gorge on free samples, she would have finished on time and the thief would have broken into another vehicle and taken a GPS and some hand sanitizer.

When Trump wins congress and most of Washington will clam up like a bunch of steel traps. Just like they did with that rookie, Obama. Sure, he'll have a couple of friends, but otherwise he'll have to use executive orders to get anything done. Instead Trump will spin it into a reality series and put different senators and congresspeople on the hot seat for all the world to see while he grills them about the kinds of shit they voted for. The vice president, Duane Johnson, will get caught in a torrid affair with Huma while making Anthony hold the camcorder in a maid's costume (50's mammy style).

Jobs will show a sharp decline after February when the early primaries will leave everyone confused, utterly. Trump will try to blame the job loss on democrats and the Gang of 8. He'll talk about bringing jobs back but won't give details, just promises. McDonald's will experiment with a chain of vegan fast food restaurants. Viagra will be available for vaping. That skinny bastard down the street will think about running his keys down the side of your car, but he flips at the last minute and takes his DUI bicycling riding worthless ass back down the road. Take the average of your next 3 fortune cookies and bet on a horse or dog race.

Hillary will publish a cookbook that will have a weird name for fried chicken and will mention having to shovel horse shit as a teenager in New York. Bernie will be put in charge of NASA when the republicans con him into thinking it will be the first Red Planet, all commie, all the time. He'll get us to Mars 20 years sooner than any current plans. A new kind of music genre will evolve from recent protests. It will be like walking beside a picket line every time you change the station! An ode to Ferguson will kick it off. Pick up that bit of squash. A cat walks by just as the radio says cat. Galena.

We will see fuel costs go up and greedy republicans will be the cause. Ask any democrat. West Virginia will find clean water. Rain will make more frogs. Put some butter on that. Don't waste the bread. Give them another chance but put them on a charity mailing list. Or porn. Let her get on the boat. Change the bulb in the oven. It's just a toothpick.

 

I am actually overdue for returning to the land of hot sand, no booze and women who wear big black tents. I have a deadline to get a bunch of stuff fixed before the heat of summer so the power remains reliable. But my flights have become screwed up and I'm back home having scotch and aromatic herbs.

I see my prediction about a threat to the Trump camp came to pass. I never thought it would be his son. Tsk tsk.

The code was 2857732 but you got there too late to use it, try to run faster this time. Think about it, if she was really concerned about the honesty of your uncle, why have YOU, of all people, start spying on him? Lunch money is just what they call it, it's a bribe. Your pool liner is about to break where the sand has washed away in the southwest corner.

Now you KNOW that sauce is not the right color, wtf is going on? How's your mother Danny? Amanda actually thinks she got a good deal on those nails. There's a picture of Mario in a ball gag. He looks scared. Theodore is thinking of hurting someone. Leonardo also designed one. Keep a half gallon jug of ice in the freezer. Don't eat frog legs from Ecuador in May or June, even deep fried. Smoke a rock and you're sitting on top of your house, alone. It was not "unplanned" at all.

When in doubt, shave. Gatorade for the hangover, iodine for the knuckles. Wear a red t-shirt under your shoplifting shirt. Give her parents some authentic Turkish Delight and a bottle of GOOD wine the day before you ask for her hand. Do not repeat how you think that water tower looks like a pussy, again. His Dad doesn't know but his sister knows and mom suspects. Feel the Bern, by moving to Switzerland ahead of the US recession 2 which kicks off the first depression of the 21st century. It triggers global economic nightmares. I may be paddling a canoe home from Arabia.

Her mother made the cake, there's no chance it has liquor in it. Put the lime in the coconut. Even if you don't use them now, buy solar panels. Learn to make guacamole, the right way. Have a tin type made of you naked. Burn a kilogram of bamboo. Wash the baby oil sheets twice. Eat your Chik Fil-A in a Starbucks while guzzling a caramel macchiato and wearing a Che' shirt (black or red), dare to cross lines for the pure hell of it. There's a machine in lead of us. Efficiency will render most of us logically obsolete. Await the illness.

The most optimistic thing I can say now is that I plan to return from the middle east, intact. I know that it's so I can return and piss people off at Hip Forums. I've been doing it since 2002 and will be doing it long after I croak. But that's another story.

 

They actually ARE following you. Electronically and physically. They know you have a stash. That fence thing is good.

GeorgeJetStoned's Schizoschism | Hip Forums
GeorgeJetStoned's Schizoschism | Hip Forums

 

When he orders you a machiatto, and it's perfect when you get it, yea it was HER favorite. He knows it by heart. Grow something, even a cactus. You saw the truth once, on a shithouse wall. My Momma told me, you better shop around. Yes, your dentist did lie to you 7 years ago, write a check. The guy with the tow truck, is related to you.

I had a weird experience when I looked into a Hillary future. Not only will we be getting a "third" restroom, everywhere. We will also be getting a breast feeding salon, everywhere. Hillary will waste a lot of time on the gun issue. Her most preposterous proposal will call for state issued guns to be required in all households. Citizens will be required to maintain them and keep them secured. However, they will not be allowed to stock any ammunition. The idea comes to her in a dream about a gun made in Austria during the first world war that used a non-standard bullet. It was a very accurate gun, but the ammunition producer, only 1, was in France and had only produced a single case of prototypes. Their factory was destroyed by a German "whizz-Bang". The limited ammunition made the gun little more than an ornament that was issued to officers with only 10 bullets. After they were discharged it became an obsolete paperweight. She realizes that a gun is just a machine and without "fuel" was powerless.

It kept hammering me to the point that when I tried to see Trump's psychotic future, I keep seeing Hillary's face. I begin to wonder if his whole campaign might be a ruse to humiliate her JUST because he can. Is there some chance Bill diddled someone he knew? Or the daughter of someone he knew? Who knows? For all I know Clintn porked my sister. She had an ugly kid. But she was usually into that rebel-without-a-job type of asshole. Bill's got bucks. Enough to buy loyalty from state troopers and senators. But not enough to stop Obama from waxing his ass vicariously with the race card. Regardless, Trump has proven to be vindictive in the past so expect the show. Especially if he loses. If he can convince her to take a Romney/McCain style dive, she'll be shielded from any contemplated prosecution. Two years later a massive chain of OTB parlors will open across the nation in convenience stores.

I also have trouble trying to focus on the middle and maybe see reality. I see Trump as actually a better thing for Bernie than Hillary. Bernie can make bank on the tons of grass roots issues Trump is going to create. Everything from the draft to a collapse of 401K accounts. When we finally lose Bernie, he'll be buried in Trier with honors. Bill will have a weapon nicknamed after him for its ability to hit the target every time. Monica will finally release the pornos she made for Larry Flynt all those years ago starring Peter North in a wig made to look like Bill. The acting was superb. Don't listen to Steyer. Tie a rope three feet long into 3 knots equally spaced and carry it for a week. Give him back his highlighter already. Acorn squash, it won't be expected and if you also make a pie, the sensitive issue will not come up. Elvis was right.

Oz, why man? Why are you still gone? I can't see you at all anymore. It was the dog, so much slobber, it only looks like a bobcat did it. Spring for the better fire bricks. Todd, the scrawny guy who likes to get into fights, will cause you to get arrested sooner than you think. He thinks it's a rocket, but there's too much sulfur in a lump, so the nozzle will clog and it will become a pipe bomb. You will see shock waves. His sister likes you more than you realize. She only wears that color when you show up.

Aye knead secks

 

Will I get that promotion I've been hoping for?

 

You already know the answer to this.

However, I suggest in the future that you get all the background information possible on the people who can fuck you out of a particular opportunity. That way instead of worrying about it and then having to deal with the failure alone, you can almost completely remove the dread and stress by simply exacting a campaign of revenge onto those who fucked you. In this day and age even the smallest workplace slight can have repercussions that limit or even destroy a career. This can lead to lots of internalized stress. Implementing your own reprisals will relieve you of most of this internalized stress.

You can still deal with the asshole from afar. Just visit a library and open up some accounts on swinger sites in their name, pics and other personal vitals. Also put them on a charity sucker list by sending a cash donation to some big loud cause. If need be, fedex them some dig shit, but wait a few months and set it to arrive late on a Friday.

 

It was necessary, please forgive my tardiness. I didn't see Orlando coming, none of my friends were there. But some of theirs were. Blame the machine if you must, I blame the psychopath. So why was his Dad behind Hillary? And wouldn't people freak if he was behind Trump? But Trump doesn't usually have people behind him, a very telling sign.

That lady in Marthasville knows she was wrong, but she's too proud to admit it. The bamboo shade is better for the bathroom. Save the weird color for the bedroom. Walnuts and dried apricots will make that smoothie into something he craves without knowing why. Helps to burn a purple candle too. Meredith Brooks was so right. Don't hate her for doing her job, YOU put her in that position. YOU made her choose. The grinding wheel goes round and round. It makes an ancient rumbling sound.

When in doubt, trust Ella
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ph7q-A0bt1M .
There's a hair in the cabinet next to the oven, it's from a wild boar though nobody has ever cooked one there before. You really should put some bleach down that drain, maybe 200ml. So the ring doesn't fit, big fkin deal, it's the THOUGHT that counts. Their cat was poisoned by an a-hole neighbor, do them a favor and get even while they're out of town and have a perfect alibi. You KNOW you want to. It's justice after all. Make that fker suffer. Figbaum is a liar. So is Rachel, the stripper with the orange lipstick. Give her a 20 anyway, she's worth it.

Don't let it drive you nuts, it's only a rough draft. Freak out when the final is due, everybody expects it then. You've never seen eyes so blue. His mother thinks you're a "tramp" (her words, not mine). Jesus just left Chicago. When the spool runs out, switch to the red. The comet died sailing into the sun as she reached her reality. Keep her safe and teach her to make cloth, pasta and a really good pot of coffee. The island's west side is where the truth will be revealed. It's not so nice. I don't like stuff that sucks.

Ok, just fucking get away from them, sure they're "relatives", but they are making you NUTS. How many fkin times do I have to remind you? Get out before the bridge has been turned to matchsticks. Learn to whistle before you go to New York. Won't you play with my ding a ling? Please! Marinate the pork in Jamaican Ginger Beer for 6 hours. Don't skimp on the pepper. Now you know what Sheila was talking about, can you replace the piece before anyone knows?

Something new is on the horizon. A way to expand the mind without consequence. The war will test us all. Teach your daughters to shoot. Helps if they can swim well too. The sprocket you need is the same that a Xerox 2510 uses. I'm Henry the 8th, I am. The goat cheese, definitely. After the next rain, burn some sage from a window. Dude, it corners like it's on fkin rails. The fat tires are definitely the way to go. Is that my mother on the phone? You'll know freedom as you shop for groceries in your pajamas and nobody notices (or says sh!t about it).

I know we've had turmoil, I have the warning points to prove it. This is what happens when personal agendas are placed above the importance of Hip Forums. Never forget that our amazing little petri dish of paradise can't exist if we let too much of the ugliness in. Be still your savage heart and quit being so foolishly "sensitive" over sh!t people say. Words are what? Vapor. What are words for if no one's listening anymore? When the tree falls, we shut the fk up.

Put some windex on it.

GJS

 

She used to like me, then a Nazi turned her into an a-hole. How can I go back to liking someone who so readily turned into an a-hole to win the favor of a Nazi? If not for Christ, would I give a damn? We need a real mayonaise. The gherkins make it tartar.

 

The a-hole I loved turned out to be the a-hole I am, and now I love her the more. All grass is not green OR smoke-able tho, but you can depart without sorrow if you come clean with your own unseen. A turn within can revive the used-to-be's that pose their astringent "conditions" on wut we're "allowed" to feel...

Old kat poker flats leave shit undone wut not ought...leave it undone and pick it up when the sun shines.

Olive-US do unseen favors when moon shines dim. Shine on in darkness where thinkers fear to tread.

 

I knew you were out there, I just didn't know your name. Odd I can't read you back though. Oh well, maybe I need to sacrifice a goat or have a ham sandwich first. Or perhaps a cup of Earl Grey with a splash of absinthe (I admit to being a barbarian).

Thanks for catching it, I'll try to return the favor soon!

 

Tip a cup to the Duke of Earl. Try a goat sandwich, but watch out for horns. Horns in the vestibule, horns in the pew...horns in the pulpit! I just found ewe...

My mind has been absinthe on many occasions...it is all about survival of the fittest, where brain cells are concerned. Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.