Long time reader, first time poster. So anal, gf hates it but does it, is it wrong I do it then? During it all I care about is doing it and being a dirty sleazy occasion but literally after cumming I get the total guilts which tbf only lasts till I want it again. Am I being to selfish?
Yes, you're being selfish! But, for a relationship to be successful, both parties need to understand and accept each other's "selfish" wants. That's called qui pro quo, and if you can't compromise those selfish desires, then the relationship is not going to work in the long term. Generally, in a loving relationship, both parties want to please each other and receive pleasure/happiness, either physically, psychologically or mentally, by doing so. The situation you described is very similar to my wife and I earlier in our marriage. She hated anal and only did it to please me. Therefore, we only had anal sex 2-3 times a year on special occasions. Of course, because of her willingness to please me, I compromised on many of her desires & preferences. Over the years, her libido increased and inhibitions decreased to my pleasant surprise. Nowadays, she gets off on thinking and being nasty. She started to enjoy anal and often cums while I'm fucking her ass. She even started doing ATM a few years back. We now do anal and ATM at least once a week.
If your GF is willing to do something she doesn't like (such as anal) because she loves you and wants to please you, I don't see that as a problem. You shouldn't feel guilty, but you should try very hard to improve the experience for her. Anal takes good technique and practice to make it enjoyable. I didn't start out hating it, but I sure didn't enjoy it at first. After about ten times I started to really enjoy it. She can always say no. This is assuming that you're not a dick and you understand that no means no.
Let her bang you with a strap on. You get a prostate massage and you know the pain / pleasure she goes thru. Win - win
To backup what a few of the others have already said. I don't see an issue here. UNLESS she's telling you, "NO I don't want to have anal sex" and you are somehow forcing it on her there's nothing wrong with her letting you do something she doesn't like all that much becaus she does like that you get pleasure from it. This is my situation. Though I've never really told my boyfriend that Anal sex is never better for me than uncomfortable, I don't enjoy it overly much until the very end where I do like to feel him coming in me. That said I really enjoy knowing I've pleased him so if he wants it he gets it. And I'm happy to provide that for him. I think it depends a lot on the spirit in which she's giving you Anal. If she's doing it resentfully that's probably not healthy but if she likes to do it for you despite her discomfort, I say go for it. I'd feel terrible if my boyfriend quit fucking me in the ass because I know he likes doing it so much and I'd wonder why he doesn't want to do it to me anymore when I'm more than willing to give him that.
We do kind of have an agreement that it is a special occasion thing mostly for my benefit but it was offered on a plate in the early days of are relationship and I think she does resent me for wanting /doing it but feel she uses it like a weapon some times and makes out I force it on her which maybe is where my guilt comes from. She never says we can't do it but then gives me shit in other situations if we have done it, can't win!
If my lady doesn't want to do something she doesn't and I respect her for not doing it! It also lets me know that everything we do together she is doing, because she enjoys it as much as I do. I honestly couldn't get off myself doing something with someone who was doing it just for me. The biggest thrill for me is knowing the person I am with is satiesfied and I make sure they are before I am done.
It sounds like it's more about attitude rather than dislike or discomfort. I think you two need to have a good, calm discussion about wants and needs long before you get naked and in bed.
A grey area. maybe you could be more sensitive to your partner's like/dislikes. A true relationship goes both ways.
I never really wanted to explore anal but my husband insisted and started me slowly and I love it now. I wonder if that is bad? I love for him to stretch me now. I can't belive it because I would have never thought I could enjoy it and now I even use a plug when I masterbate because the orgasms are so more more intense. I recently asked him to take me in public. I'm tall slender and pretty and I've started having fantasies of being watched. He was so excited that I initiated. I'm afraid I might like this sex the best. Has anyone else experienced That?
