Hey guys, So I'm a 25 year old guy attending University. Basically, I am very good at communicating with girls. I can start conversation and get things moving well into flirting and just have very good interpersonal skills. I have noticed girls really enjoy my company, as I mutually do theirs. Now, here's the thing. I am stumped on how to take things farther. In high school, I was very good at just sealing the deal at parties or going to bars post high school. I met one girl who I got hooked on and ended up dating her for a couple of years before it fell apart. Since then I've just had a barrier with girls where I don't want to feel like I'm building expectations when I just want to have fun and, well erotically explore their bodies. I want to mate, but I'm not looking to date. For example, one girl in Finance. Loves me, and she's super cute. We flirt all the time, but I'm scared to ask her to hangout because I don't want to give her expectations. I was thinking of asking her for her number and progressing through potential texts towards inviting her over. But then again I don't know how that will go over. How do you go about letting someone know your sexually attracted but not looking for an emotional connection!?
The more time spent with me before we have sex, the higher my expectations might be that you want something other than casual sex. Of course, all of that is easily mitigated through clear communication. You say you are good at communication. So. Communicate. The first guy who ever approached me for casual sex made it very clear he didn't want a girlfriend, and that his platonic friends were men. After we had sex, he reiterated this. After him, I just always looked for and appreciated this format of open, honest discussion. Maybe the women you meet will too.
One thing you can do, OP, is to ask a woman you're talking with how she feels about sex outside romantic relationships. Or something like that. The idea is to get the subject started. You can then be open about what you think about it and that you're actively looking. If she says she's opposed to this kind of arrangements, you got your answer before even asking in a way that would make things awkward. Another option is to do the kind of stuff men who are friendzoned do. Once you're friendzoned, you're good to go. There are plenty of women who also want to have sex just for the sake of it, without the complications of a relationship.
don't be ashamed of your sexual desire for a woman. wanting a woman is required to build attraction with her Don't be ashamed of what you want. Be confident, be bold. lead her. Get alone with her and kiss her. It's that simple. But there is a lot of great at advice out there to help you do it. A book I reccomend is Models by Mark Manson. Don't be afraid to make mistakes. You will make it work!
