Some Advice Would Be Much Appreciated!

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by SkyHowey, Sep 28, 2014.

  1. SkyHowey

    SkyHowey Members

    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    1
    About 3 and a half years I met a beautiful soul named Draya. She was everything I could have wanted in a partner and more. She made me feel good about myself and like nothing could ever go wrong. We dated for about 2 and a half years and I even proposed. Which is weird cause I don't believe in marriage, but I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. And obviously the feeling was mutual because about a year ago she broke up with me cause she cheated and got pregnant with someone else's kid (she didn't tell me till she was showing and I noticed) and wanted to be with him. We started talking again about half a year ago when my mom died and it seemed like we were gonna be together again, I didn't care she had a kid, I was happy. And yet again she went back to him, she's now officially out of my life and the point of this story is, now that she's gone, I don't know how to move on. I haven't dated anyone since her and I broke up and my confidence is extremely low at this point. Does anyone have any advice?
     
    1 person likes this.
  2. katkin

    katkin Member

    Messages:
    594
    Likes Received:
    141
    That is rough. I am not so good with giving advice, hopefully someone else will reply soon! Am sure it'll take some time, but I would keep myself busy, give yourself plenty of distractions, keep good company with friends. Good luck.
     
  3. naturegirl1

    naturegirl1 Member

    Messages:
    506
    Likes Received:
    401
    You've made the first couple of steps, you've acknowledged that she's out of your life now and you've made an effort, maybe subconsciously, towards moving on by writing your post!
    It will take time, but try to not dwell on "what might have been", get active & socialise, there really is someone out there for you, I know, that's how I found the love of my life after splitting from my first husband.
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. volunteer_tommy

    volunteer_tommy Elongated Member

    Messages:
    855
    Likes Received:
    243
    Step one: don't worry about how to move on. Time can be cruel, but time is also the best healer.
     
    3 people like this.
  5. doilytheunicorn

    doilytheunicorn Members

    Messages:
    99
    Likes Received:
    49
    ^ This.

    You won't have it figured out. You don't have to. Just live your life as best as you can, and let time work out the rest.

    It's okay that you're hurting now, and you may find that you hurt for a long while yet. You're a human being. You're allowed to hurt.

    Oh, and be kind to yourself, even when others aren't.

    You will survive this. You really will.
     
    2 people like this.
  6. Aerianne

    Aerianne Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    Messages:
    37,095
    Likes Received:
    17,162
    You say she's out of your life this time. If she comes back and things develop again, ask her to ask the other guy about having a polyamorous lifestyle/family. I'm serious. Sometimes it's a great solution to romantic entanglements that run this deep.
     
    1 person likes this.
  7. SkyHowey

    SkyHowey Members

    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    1
    I'm not all about the whole sharing thing. I'm a very monogamous guy when it comes to relationships. Sexually, I couldn't give a fuck (haha, I made a funny) but when it comes to someone I love, I get jealous easy.
     
  8. Aerianne

    Aerianne Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    Messages:
    37,095
    Likes Received:
    17,162
    Okay. Just a thought.
     
  9. SkyHowey

    SkyHowey Members

    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    1
    Oh, I understand and I appreciate the suggestion :)
     
  10. Vanilla Gorilla

    Vanilla Gorilla Go Ape

    Messages:
    30,289
    Likes Received:
    8,560
    More Advice: Dont like your own posts
     
  11. volunteer_tommy

    volunteer_tommy Elongated Member

    Messages:
    855
    Likes Received:
    243
    You can DO that!?!? :yikes:

    Oh wow, you can! [​IMG]
     
    1 person likes this.
  12. Annwyn'Bri

    Annwyn'Bri Member

    Messages:
    660
    Likes Received:
    285
    Like most of the comments here, I agree.. it takes time. You are basically grieving the death of a relationship.

    Try to keep busy, meet other people (not for looking for a new relationship) of all kinds and types. Go places, try new things, make a bucket list.

    Eventually, the pain will ease and then you will be able to move on.
     
    2 people like this.
  13. NurseSteve

    NurseSteve Member

    Messages:
    191
    Likes Received:
    43
    I agree with Annwyn'bri, Grieving takes time. Let time be your friend.
     
    1 person likes this.
  14. Wizardofodd

    Wizardofodd Senior Member

    Messages:
    3,695
    Likes Received:
    1,813
    I've been through this with my ex-wife and the #1 thing that I made sure I did moving forward was......don't make your next partner pays for the crimes of your last. I know it becomes easy to be suspicious and notice little things that make you wonder. With my ex, it became a daily thing to notice things that were almost clues to what she did that day. Once that was over, I knew I had to shake that off if I wanted to be happy in the future.
     
    1 person likes this.
  15. AceK

    AceK Scientia Potentia Est

    Messages:
    7,824
    Likes Received:
    958
    she's a stupid ****, be glad you didn't marry her. she broke up with you because SHE cheated .. what a worthless piece of trash!
     
  16. Just_a_woman

    Just_a_woman Member

    Messages:
    948
    Likes Received:
    155
    Now you're alone, you have more time to spend on yourself. Learn things, read books, exercise, develop new skills. When you take care of your brain and body, the probability you'll feel good about yourself and send that message to people you meet is high.

    Take care.
     
    1 person likes this.
  17. IMjustfishin

    IMjustfishin Member

    Messages:
    1,255
    Likes Received:
    194
    you will love again, trust me.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice