I am an 18 year old boy by now and since about one year I know that I'm bisexual [or bi-curious or whatever]. Before that I simply tried to block the thought out of my mind. But now a lot of things make sense to me. I became aware of it because I fell in love with one of my two best friends. He is an a bit shy guy and very cute (prefer a slender type of boy)-but he is straight although he had no girlfriend by now. I know that he is straight because after an hour of persuading (I'm very good with words-at least in German) he told me which girl he fancies (and it is not one of the absolut beauties of the school [now I'm at the beginning of the last year] but a pretty and small girl with a lot of self-convidence.-so he hasn't invented it) I'm a damn know-it-all and although he is sometimes annoyed of me we still spend most of the time at school (all-day school) together. A year ago (a bit more) I had a girlfriend until I break up with her because of distance (6hours with train-met her in the holidays the first time) and since I have fallen in love with my best friend I'm somehow not interested in a relationship with someone else but maybe with a girl (also shy)-but I'm not sure about it because the love to my best friend is somehow stronger/ more intensive. The only person I have told is my other best friend who first was in love with a girl for 5/6 years (even became her best friend xD) and now he is in love with a girl with whom he is in something like an relationship without sexual component (a lot of people think at first sight he would be gay)-she knows it but has no feelings for him. I talked with him about my bisexuality about an hour and made clear that I chose if and when we ever talk again about it. I'm bisexual-but I'm much more, too. I want to tell my other best friend too and I would have done if he wouldn't be the person with which I'm in love. I thought about just kissing him when the now starting last school year is over but then I may lose him as a good friend. I'm a bit overweight and know that he does not think I would be attractive (no chance even if he would be gay or bi). The problem is that since I'm so confused about everything I bring about nothing- I get more weight than I lose and I still have no driving license and so on. I simply don't know what to do because my feelings can't be just turned off. So what shall I do? Coming out would mean that I may lose one of my best friends and there are enough idiots with an old fashioned view of the world and I fear that being openly bisexual actually wouldn't make me more attractive for girls. My parents I haven't told although both are open minded persons who have no problems with same-gender marriages and things like that. But I don't want to change their way how they see me. I think-if I would/will have a boyfriend that's would/will give me a reason and the needed courage to tell them. Sorry, that I told half of my life story but I had to (first time I've done sth like that. I'm lucky enough that I'm in Germany instead of Russia or the Middle East. PS: It is so much easier to talk about feelings in English- German is far too severe and dry for that! PPS: Of course I would like to hear your stories, too. So just write it in here.
