Hey Everyone, A quick question on how you became a lesbian, especially directed to late in life lesbians. I am 26 years old and still a virgin, I have been seriously involved with two men but we did not make it to the sex stage. I had an immense connection with my former best friend that turned romantic but he refused to sleep with me saying he did not want to hurt me. This is because when our relationship turned romantic he was close to migrating and indeed did migrate. He also was involved with a woman at the time. I was very, very upset with his decision to migrate and still consider it a betrayal. Since that has happened over two years ago I have been seriously involved with another man who thankfully I did not make fuck me since he turned out to part insane, part selfish and part dangerous. My problem is I just cannot seem to find a man (except my former best friend) that I think is compatible with me and is just a good person. I have always been a tomboy and many people erroneously think I am a lesbian. However, I have never seriously had any feelings for women but I have considered being in a lesbian relationship. Recently, I think I have piqued the interest of one lesbian and one bisexual at my workplace. However, I have told one of them subtly i'm not into that and I would only be interested in one of them anyway. That is, I would not be interested in the one I had to tell subtly that i'm not into that. I am wondering if I can find happiness with a woman or rather try to find happiness, I think I can but I also can't help wishing that some women had penises if that makes sense. In that, the thought of actually having sex with a woman grosses me out. Kissing and sucking tits maybe but actually oral and sex toy action I doubt it. I would also want to have children, no surrogates, no adoption but children with a combination of genes from me and my partner. So that's another problem. I wish there were another sex which was a cross between a man and a woman. I'm just conflicted at the moment and I am wondering if I should put myself out there as a bisexual instead of heterosexual so that maybe I can find a meaningful, lasting relationship. I guess ultimately I am going to have to decide if I can be happy with someone and accept that I may not be able to have any children with them. These days finding a great guy is becoming really hard to find. Even finding just a good one is and I refuse to settle for anything less than good. Relationships are serious business for me and I truly want a life partner. Most men these days just do not understand what a true partnership is :-( I am just tired of being depressed after being hurt and disappointed by men. Certainly, I am tired of being lonely. Please feel free to comment and give your thoughts. Thank you.
You don't become one, you are either gay or your are not gay. It's not a choice to be made like do you want fries with that?
You don't wake up and say, "I think today I'll become a lesbian." You're born lesbian. It might take years of self discovery, self analysis, lots heartache and truckloads of courage. The thing is deep down YOU KNOW, its just that society usually heaps incredible expectations upon you to "conform." Lesbian is not all about sex, it's part of it; it's more about having relationships and loving women, not men.
Well, your only 26, it just sounds like you haven't found the right person yet. But just because you've been disappointed by a few men doesn't mean you would be better off as a lesbian. You can't just decide to alter your sexuality. And if you enter in a relationship with a woman, and you're not emotionally or sexually attracted to her, she will be able to sense that and it will be no more successful than any relationship with a man.
