Mistress

Discussion in 'Free Love' started by angelica peaches, Jul 18, 2014.

  1. angelica peaches

    angelica peaches Member

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    Do you think a man can love both his wife and mistress?




    moderation note:
    Three similar threads have been rolled into one.
    -drumminmama
     
  2. angelica peaches

    angelica peaches Member

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    I feel that if someone is a mistress, it is very important for them to see other people so as not to get too attached to the married man. Thoughts?
     
  3. Hudson0697

    Hudson0697 Member

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    I think it is possible to love more than one person. Polygamists have proven this. I believe there is love and then "in love". "In love" is that special feeling you get when the connection is almost at a spiritual level.
     
  4. Irminsul

    Irminsul Valkyrie

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    That's implying the mistress isn't married to said man.
    My mistress is my lover, she's not very interested in anybody else.
     
  5. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Lifetime Supporter

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    Different uses of mistress. OP means the other woman and heteronormative.

    It's logical to say that having multiple partners might keep a monagamously wired person from attaching, but personal experience just laughed in my face with that.
     
  6. Irminsul

    Irminsul Valkyrie

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    Understood. =]
     
  7. Karen_J

    Karen_J Visitor

    Of course! Usually, the roles of each, and their personalities, are quite different.
     
  8. Karen_J

    Karen_J Visitor

    It varies, depending on the age and maturity of the individuals.

    When I was a mistress, I understood my role very well, and I stayed within it. At the start, I already had a lot of sexual experience.
     
  9. angelica peaches

    angelica peaches Member

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    Agreed I think we have to remember IT IS WHAT IT IS..... not get too attached to him, and keep options open.
     
  10. Meliai

    Meliai Banned

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    One way to avoid getting attached is to recognize the guy as a liar, sneak, and cheat.

    I'm not criticizing you or trying to be judgmental so I hope it doesn't come across like that. Just pointing out that its pointless to fall in love with a married man. Even if he left his wife for you he would eventually leave you for someone else.
     
  11. Karen_J

    Karen_J Visitor

    Sometimes mistresses are in a stage of life in which they don't want a serious relationship, for one reason or another. It might be because of a recent relationship that ended poorly, or because of issues related to education and career. I was just going along for the fun ride, not really sure what my next move should be. I liked having all my options open.

    That is, if the wife doesn't know what's going on. It took me a long time to figure out that in my situation, the wife almost surely knew, and didn't care because I was doing all the stuff she didn't want to do. She probably thought she had the better deal, while I thought I had the better deal. It all came down to personality differences. I wanted adventure, and she wanted to play country club wife and mommy.
     
  12. Hudson0697

    Hudson0697 Member

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    I love this response. Couldn't have said it better myself. F***ing and feelings are awfully close in the dictionary. Life and personal experience just screamed at me. It is hard because mine has the foundation of a longterm friendship. The feelings were there long before the f***ing ever started.
     
  13. angelica peaches

    angelica peaches Member

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    I understand it is easy for people to hate the other woman/man, but I just want to make the point that people don't stray unless the person is meeting some needs that they need met.... just sayin
     
  14. Hudson0697

    Hudson0697 Member

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    I used to be one of "The Self-Righteous".
     
  15. Hudson0697

    Hudson0697 Member

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    I used to hate the "OM" and often thought of causing him bodily harm. Then my therapist told me he only walked through a door that was opened for him. I would probably still stomp the shit out of him. Not because of what he did, simply because he is a POS as a person.
     
  16. buzzgunner

    buzzgunner 180 grains of diplomacy Lifetime Supporter

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    I absolutely agree that it's hard to keep feelings from creeping into a multi-partner relationship. My wife and I were in a wonderful threesome with a very close male friend. It lasted for about half a year, but ultimately broke up because my wife was starting to fall in love with our friend. (She wasn't falling out of love with me, she was simply beginning to develop a deep emotional bond with her other lover.) My fragile male ego couldn't cope and everything came apart. If I'd just been a bit more secure about the whole thing, we might have ended up forming a long term polyamorous (MFM) relationship. (I have to admit that watching the two of them together was one of the most arousing activities I've ever witnessed!)

    Now, I realize that a threesome is different from one of us (my wife or I) having a lover that has no involvement with the other spouse, but the same kinds of emotional bonds can form and (potentially) complicate matters.
     
  17. I'minmyunderwear

    I'minmyunderwear Newbie

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    fucking someone else's significant other is a shit thing to do. just not as bad as the one doing the cheating.
     
    1 person likes this.
  18. Hudson0697

    Hudson0697 Member

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    Call the Morality Police. There is a self righteous asshole on here
     
  19. I'minmyunderwear

    I'minmyunderwear Newbie

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    you know angelica peaches isn't going to fuck you, right? she's probably not even female.
     
  20. iriegnome

    iriegnome Member

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    I think that if you are in a committed monogamous relationship, cheating is cheating and you should bail. No morality about it. If you are in an open relationship, have at it. All good then. A relationship will not work with lies and cheating as it basis. If both parties are om with it, then that is all good..
     

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