How do you get your family to accept your lifestyle? I came out to my family in 7th grade and they swore it was a phase, but it's been almost six years now and they refuse to accept the fact that it isn't changing. They're really religious and once they found out I looked the same sex, they tried to force it down my throat which has really turned me away from it. I used to hide it but the older I'm getting, the less I'm caring about their opinions on it. They claim they only want me to be happy, and being myself makes me happy, but they just can't handle the fact that it's in this way....that I'm TRULY happy. Am I wrong to be happy in my own skin? Until I was 16, I lived my life worrying about their opinions and what made them happy, but then I realized that I'm living MY life, not theirs so I'll do what makes me happy. Am I wrong for this?! How do I get them to realize? Honestly, I can see myself possibly marrying a female one day, and they've already told me if I do, they won't be at the wedding. How did you all help your family get over it? (If they were against it at first) PLEASE HELP
Give them time and show them the validity of your love, and all your expressions of it. Win them over with kindness, by having girlfriends and proving those relationships are based in love, and not just lust, or a passing phase, or whatever they seem to think it's been about.
It the truth were known the churches are full of dark minded hypocrites that under the right circumstances would jump at the chance to experiment with the opposite or the same sex. This is my opinion, no facts to support it. They live their lives in fear and cover it up with their aggrandized public opinions and positions on any subject different than what they have been brainwashed to believe. When this comes before the love and relation of their own blood it infuriates me. I can't understand why they cannot accept the fact that you are genetically linked to them and do not accept the fact that you are part of each one. Here again, it's the religion factor. My suggestion to you is to not permit them to change who you are because of their short mindedness. They are still your parents and if they choose to put a wall between you and them let it be their problem to deal with, not yours. You can still deal with them respectfully on all other issues except the one that you were born with and continue to protect what is right for you regardless if they accept or reject. Sorry any child has to deal with this. Best to you for a happy life.
sexuality is not something that we have a choice on, or can change i dont think. god made you the way he saw fit, maybe remind your parents of that?
You are pretty much on the right track. Thinking that anyone even your closest family should agree with or approve of your sexuality is simply wrong. There is really nothing for them to do about it. It is your life, and you are calling the shots. The notion that you should be expecting/seeking their approval for your sexual orientation is deeply flawed. People in general, not only your family tend to use any opportunity to deny the others whatever they want or desire for as long as the subject is on the table. Why? Because they can, and because they see no negative consequences for them. This is pretty much a universal instinct. By denying whatever the others want, we feel that we have more space, more resources, eventually more power. You do not want to go there. Your family lacks the serenity to accept the things that cannot change. You want to stop discussing this issue with anyone in terms of allowing them to approve or disapprove of your sexual orientation. Declare this to be absolutely off limits. Live your life as you find fit, and stick with your guns. More importantly learn to "draw the lines". Despite the popular buzz to the contrary the world out there is not a cute, lovely Thomas Kinkade kinda place. A vast number of people believe that disadvantaging the others automatically brings substantial benefits to them. They may be right or wrong, but it is really up to you to make sure that you do not end up being a victim of their deep, predatory instincts. I was recently involved in series of business negotiations with the people I knew very well. They suggested that they wanted a number of services to be provided for free. By refusing to even start talking on the subject, I brought them back to their real negotiating position. They simply thought that it did not cost anything to try... They have been successful with this approach in the past, and thought that this would work for them again. I am happy to say that I am laughing all the way to the bank... And I learnt this lesson at in my HS days. KD
