I can't orgasm during sex!

I need some help. My boyfriend is really down because I can't orgasm when we make love in any position. Even in cowgirl, I can't.

Here's a back story. Well in my first relationship, my ex and I (we both are chubby) only participated in sexual acts twice. The first time, I was too tight for him to go inside me, so he just stayed on top hitting the opening of my vagina. For some reason, each time we did that same position that day, I orgasmed. Well I got a little excited after that and bought myself a dildo. The next time I saw my ex, he was able to go inside me with no problem. Well that night, I did not orgasm once. There was no other time after that. I don't understand what changed. Was he maybe hitting my clit when he couldn't go inside me? Was his stomach rubbing against my clit?

By myself, I can only orgasm one way. It's kind of embarrassing, but I hump pillows. It's the ONLY way. If I rub my clit with my own fingers, it feels good, but I don't know how to apply the pressure I need, and I get aggravated. I've tried vibrators, but they just make me moan EXTREMELY loud. Feels amazing, but no orgasm.

Now, I am with my current boyfriend who I love very much. I would love to share an orgasm with him while we make love. I don't like seeing him get depressed about it, and I also want to feel as good as he does. He tries to rub my clitoris entirely too hard though because he knows I have difficulty. His penis is bigger than my ex's, and he likes sex almost as much as me :blush5:. My boyfriend is a lot smaller than me. He's an ectomorph (tall and skinny). Then there's me, short, huge butt and thighs. Some positions we aren't capable of doing for that reason. Can anyone help me?

 

fake orgams always work

 

What about oral? Has he tried eating your pussy while fingering your Gspot AND fingering your ass all at the same time? My wife loves it, cums hard every time! Don't want to sound insensitive but how big are you? A friend of mine who is just over 5 foot and weighed nearly 320lbs had similar problems to what you described, she lost over half her body weight and now experiences great sex and orgasms. Would weight loss be an option for you? Just a thought! I hope you get it sorted

 

Maybe go to see a doctor to talk about them with it.

Also could it be that you hold back from one or not giving yourself enough time?

And also don't be too hard on yourself. No, orgasming is not the only important thing about sex. Though they are good if you cannot, do not beat yourself up.

 

That sucks

 

There is a lot more to sex then penetration which is probably why you can't orgasm. You probably weren't orgasming from penetration in the first place. Ask him to play with your clit, ass and anything else that turns you on. Some women will play with their own clit during penetration. I have never had to do that, don't even know if I care to since I don't have to.
A man's hands all over your back, legs, ass and every where that makes you hot is all part of getting you there. For women it's kind of psychological IMO, being with him because you want to be and all that. Sometimes toys help some people.

 

@Irish Warrior. I'm 5'4 and 260lbs currently dieting and exercising. I just can't do (or won't do) crazy sex positions because I guess I fear hurting him. He likes it, but I guess in my mind, I think he doesn't. I don't know.

For my boyfriend, I guess it's all about penetration. He does perform oral, but only for a short time. My legs shake as he does it. I guess he gets too turned on by that. There practically is no foreplay when we make love. We kiss, cuddle, and do it. I have gotten really close to an orgasm from penetration with him, but every time I was about to climax, he'd cum before me. I got upset with him once for it, which I shouldn't have. I know an orgasm isn't everything, but I would like to experience it with my boyfriend.

 

First, you need to stop pressuring yourself or worrying about it because that just makes it harder!

You need to get in the mood by yourself. Some women like to watch "soft" porn. I prefer to read erotica. You can go to literotica.com and read free erotica written by amateurs. They are broken into different genres, so you should be able to find something you like. Read a bunch to really get you in the mood (it works for me.) Then masturbate. Pay attention to what you are touching and where. I would recommend spending a lot of time on you clit, since most women have clitoral, not vaginal orgasms.

Then, once you understand what makes you have an orgasm, you can show him. I would recommend thinking about or fantasizing or even reading some erotica before you guys try again.

He needs to spend time with you. If there is no foreplay, then that might be a problem as well.

Hope that helps!

 

Most women do not orgasm frequently from penetration alone. That is totally normal. The problem (from just reading your post) is all about the foreplay. When I say foreplay I mean well before he even touches you. I count making comments about how you look or smell earlier in the day. That all counts as foreplay. When it comes to the act of touching you, he has to take his time with every single inch of your body. For instance, from the time I first touch a woman until the time I actually touch her vagina takes 10 - 15 minutes. If a man takes time like this, the girl will be dripping wet from just the thought. Then when it is time to perform oral, the guy has to really love it. I like oral almost as much as making love. Performing oral is like slow passionate kissing....not that shit from pornos! Tell him to kiss you down there like he is moving in slow motion. Once he has been kissing you down there for 10 minutes, have him slowly slide his finger inside of you while he is still giving you slow clit stimulation. As he moves is fingers in and out and continues to slowly (or fast if you like it) lick your clit, you can begin to find your "pace and position" for an orgasm. If you are with a man that doesn't naturally give you an orgasm, you have to take matters in your own hands. I love it when a girl takes charge and shows me how to please her, such a turn on!!!

 

dominusdonta, great advice!!!

 

I can't orgasm period without clitoral stimulation, try buying a clit vibe. Also don't try so hard, the stress of overly trying can make it hard to orgasm.