I am currently considering getting into a relationship with a couple. They were looking for another person to like them both equally and I am actually interested because I like them both. I have never been a polygamist relationship though. Though I have never really been the jealous type, I am not sure how to go about this. I just feel like I'd fuck things up as usual. I had one friend who has been in a polygamist and she said it was not much different then a monogamy relationship but it's with two people and you need to spend time with them both equally and it's less likely to last long. Have any of you ever been in one? How was it? What are your thoughts on it?
I've never been in a polygamist relationship...I've watched Sister Wives plenty enough to see how it works..and some other shows, documentary types. First off, if you are second guessing yourself in general, saying you feel like you are going to F things up as usual -- then it seems you have some issues you need to work out before you enter ANY relationship. With that, you would be entering a relationship with TWO people -- and you would have to deal with your own issues -- and -- both of theirs. You are going to be juggling a lot. For myself, I'm not into it. I think there is something sacred and special about giving myself totally to one man, in a single relationship and he giving himself to me in return. ...and I don't like to share. When I watched Sister Wives, I thought about how if I were a wife, I'd be the one to always be outdoing the others, especially sexually - to make him want me alone, it would make me devious -- because I do get jealous. I think you should think about things and go slower.
sounds like something short term and a waste of time really, dont mean to down it, im just saying I can see it ending very fast but who knows unless you try it
I'd google the blog polysingleish if I were you. Know what you're getting yourself into and communicate, communicate, communicate. Also know what you want, when to say no, how to say no, etc.
That may sound pretty much like a waste of time. But I told them I am not looking necessarily for a long relationship. Being too committed to anything is something that scares me. Which is something I say for anyone who wants a relationship with me. Because I'd call it short term, but who knows I might fall for them. Sounds kinda down I guess but that's what is comfortable for me.
You give off a very good point. I am just not sure about things communication-wise. It is a foreign thing to me but I don't know if I'd like something if I don't try. But you are right. I should think about all the considerations and not rush into anything. But I may give it a try.
For me having two girlfriends, in a relational dynamic, if that is what you are suggesting polygamy would be,for me as a male,would blow my mind.If they were both chilled and could put up with my idiosyncrasies I think polygamy just opens up a myriad of amazing possibilities.Of course I'm getting into pure fantasy here,as I'm finding it hard to find even one partner at the moment.They would have to be the ideal hippie chicks in my head,my pure,loving,accepting,non-materialistic,no pressure totally sussed...I'm entering fantasy land and it's kinda fun. Basically though I just want to meet one female.But If I don't,then I don't need it.And I'm not too picky,but there must be some love and attraction.I just want to get it on with any girl this Summer for fun and giggles.I'm not out for the live of my life here.Chicks don't know what they're missing with me.On a certain level I don't have much.But on higher and realer level I have a lot to give. Sorry I'm absolutely bull shitting,If I had money,career,car,No substance/alcohol issues,got out more,I'm sure I could pull more easily. But I won't get bitter about it,I just need to try and believe that someone could love me.I am terribly shy when I am approaching an unknown female,but once I have a pretext to talk, I communicate very well with women.I just don't have the trappings of success and I am Goddamn weirdo so I obviously need a bit of a weirdo girlfriend.I am not straight.Although I have so called "metal health" problems I am not a madmen and generally function in swell adjusted way. I think many things that we accept in society as being part of the natural order possess much more psycopathy than I could ever generate. I judge my life by my own standards and and will not have people dictate to me.No one has a greater right to exist on this planet than me.But some people like to play social reality construction games and build the world in their own warped image.They may be masters of reality,but I just seek to be master of myself,and that isn't always easy. Anyone reading this can call me out for bullshit,that's okay.I have always had a hard time accepting that some people will not like me,just as others will.I've always been too sensitive on that point.Must harden my shell in that respect. Anyway,this has been a self-indulgent ramble,so I will try and leave you in peace.
Just to be clear polygamy refers to marriage not relationships which I'm pretty sure you'd call polyamory. I think what you're asking about is polyamory. In answer to that I've always found it hard to imagine. I surprisingly don't mind my boyfriend having sex with other girls if I'm there's no romantic relationship involved. But once something beyond the physical is involved I know I'd have a really hard time. Emotions are weird things, succesful relationships are hard enough as it is.
I am married, and actively looking for a second wife. I'm not religious, certainly not Mormon. But the idea of having multiple wives satisfies a deep need I have. More than anything, I want to have several children with each of my wives. (My first wife and I are about to welcome our second child.) I'm not interested in orgies or MFF. I actually enjoyed a few of both back in my wilder days. What I want is three or four wives, all with my children, all of us living harmoniously under one roof. I have the financial resources, so that's not an issue. My first wife is coming around to the idea; she's not shocked by it, and is concerned about some of the practical aspects of the polygamous relationship.
Not much of a fan for that time of relationship. As others have said, I'm betting it wont last too long and it's bound to create some sort of friction sooner or later. But, if you want to go give it a shot, why not? My guess is, you'll need a bigger bed though lol
Neither my girlfriend nor I would benefit from the whole poly thing at this time. No one knows what happens in the future. But right now, we're still not at the stage to make that kind of decision yet.
