Would you forgive a Cheater?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Naiwen, Feb 27, 2014.

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  1. Naiwen

    Naiwen Member

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    Yes or no? I wouldn't myself. Once you've cheated, you're out basically.
     
  2. BlackBillBlake

    BlackBillBlake resigned HipForums Supporter

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    What if you had kids together?
     
  3. Naiwen

    Naiwen Member

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    I'd still divorce or break-up with him.
     
  4. *MAMA*

    *MAMA* Perfectly Imperfect

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    Real life isn't that black and white. Human beings make mistakes. It would depend on the circumstance.
     
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  5. BlackBillBlake

    BlackBillBlake resigned HipForums Supporter

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    Probably not good for the kids.

    Sometimes you have to exercise a bit of forgiveness.
     
  6. Naiwen

    Naiwen Member

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    No, i wouldn't... how can I forgive someone who has cheated on me and hurt me and humiliated me? (hasn't happened yet, i'm talking if this happened to me).
     
  7. AmericanTerrorist

    AmericanTerrorist Bliss

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    Yep, that.

    And btw, of course I would if it's someone who meant enough to me to forgive them and if they have a conscious about it. If someone just doesn't give a shit and is going to continue doing things or isn't worth it to continue with, then no. But in the opposite case... someone who IS worth it and made a mistake (is human), then of course.


    (I tend, in general, not to have black and white views on what I would or would not forgive)
     
  8. *MAMA*

    *MAMA* Perfectly Imperfect

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    You've never made a mistake that hurt another person?
     
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  9. Naiwen

    Naiwen Member

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    I still wouldn't... you guys forgive too easily. And I don't believe in "making mistakes" when it comes to cheating. For me, if you cheated on me, you meant it, no "ifs" or "buts".
     
  10. BlackBillBlake

    BlackBillBlake resigned HipForums Supporter

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    It isn't that hard. I got over my ex wife's infidelity because I felt it was better for our daughter. Once she was grown, we did eventually split up, but not because of infidelity.
     
  11. *MAMA*

    *MAMA* Perfectly Imperfect

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    You're delusional as fuck if you think it's "easy." Of course it's not easy. Real life isn't easy.

    I wouldn't expect you to understand that.
     
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  12. BlackBillBlake

    BlackBillBlake resigned HipForums Supporter

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    Until and unless you are ever in such a situation, you can't know how you would react.
     
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  13. Naiwen

    Naiwen Member

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    How could you forgive her? I cannot forgive someone who has cheated on me... and no, I won't forgive who's cheated on me, even if he begged me.
     
  14. Asmodean

    Asmodean Slo motion rider

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    How do you know for certain what you would do if you never had a relationship?
     
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  15. AmericanTerrorist

    AmericanTerrorist Bliss

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    (just noticed Mama is quoted too but this is in regards to Naiwen's post...)

    *From someone's who's lived with my husband for almost 15 years now I can tell you for sure that relationships are much more complex then that. My husband has never cheated on me but I guarantee if he did, with us being together that long, him being here for me in the past through hard times I went through (forgiving me for things and me forgiving him for other, different, things)--but in general being a truly amazing person to me who truly cares about me... but yet I know he is human and humans can make a mistake at any time. I just wouldn't automatically throw out a relationship that is worth it based on a mistake. For one thing people can go through tough times in relationships and not be thinking clearly and regret things later. But in any case, after 15 years, and one child already here and another on the way I would not just up and leave.

    I think in general people who say "if someone cheats, they're out" typically haven't been in a long term relationship and have had that happen (either way) and don't really know what they'd do until in a certain situation.
    And yea, if it's someone you're not that committed to anyways, then yea, it's a different story..
     
  16. Naiwen

    Naiwen Member

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    For the record, and your information, I am in a relationship right now. Although I've never been cheated on by my boyfriend yet.
     
  17. BlackBillBlake

    BlackBillBlake resigned HipForums Supporter

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    I could forgive because I knew it wasn't a serious threat to our relationship, but just a bit of fun that went too far.

    Also, I considered my daughter's well being as more important than anything else, including my own jealous feelings.
     
  18. Tyrsonswood

    Tyrsonswood Senior Moment Lifetime Supporter

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    Sounds like you are expecting to get cheated on...
     
  19. Asmodean

    Asmodean Slo motion rider

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    Oh right. Chinese boy? :mickey:
     
  20. Naiwen

    Naiwen Member

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    No, a Caucasian French guy.
     
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