Ever been Jealous in a 3some?

Discussion in 'Free Love' started by Naiwen, Feb 24, 2014.

  1. Naiwen

    Naiwen Member

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    While being in a 3some, ever been jealous (No matter if you're a girl or guy).
     
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  2. *MAMA*

    *MAMA* Perfectly Imperfect

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    Nope. People who are jealous should remain monogomous, and not participate in threesomes.
     
  3. sunfighter

    sunfighter Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

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  4. enhancer13

    enhancer13 Senior Member

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    Agree with this.
     
  5. jaredfelix

    jaredfelix Namaste ॐ

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    didnt you ask this in your other thread?
     
  6. Naiwen

    Naiwen Member

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    I did ask if it bothered you if your partner wanted a 3some, I didn't ask if you were ever jealous in a 3some. Completely different topics.
     
  7. *MAMA*

    *MAMA* Perfectly Imperfect

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    They probably could have been combined into a single topic.
     
  8. jaredfelix

    jaredfelix Namaste ॐ

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    being jealous bothers me; maybe you should have worded your first thread "if your partner wanted a 3some would it bother you/make you jealous"
     
  9. jaredfelix

    jaredfelix Namaste ॐ

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    try having sex first, then come ask about a threesome.
     
  10. Son of John

    Son of John Banned

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    The original question seems to be "Would you be jealous if your partner said he/she would like to bring a third person into the bedroom, to share in whatever way is possible."

    I believe that most married persons would be threatened by an activity like this, especially if the person to be invited in is of the same sex as they are. For instance, if a husband were to say to his wife "Can I bring another woman home to fuck while you watch, or take part in any way that you can?" the answer would most times be a "NO!"

    The same might be true if the wife asked her husband if she could bring-home another guy to fuck with while her husband watched, or participated in any "accessory" way that he could. Most husbands would be very offended!

    But there is another group of people, and this includes most who visit these sites, who would not be offended or jealous, and would quickly agree to their spouse bring someone of the same sex to take part in their regular fuck-fests!

    It's my guess that few persons, husbands or wives, would make such a request unless they had good reason to believe that their partners would welcome it.
     
  11. buzzgunner

    buzzgunner 180 grains of diplomacy Lifetime Supporter

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    I've definitely been jealous in a threesome. In fact, my jealousy is primarily what broke up a great threesome that had been going for six months between a close male friend, my wife, and me... and I'm the one who initiated it in the first place! I was jealous on two points:

    1. His stamina was literally an order of magnitude greater than mine. Once he and my wife started fucking, I could (sometimes) almost sit down and watch TV for half an hour before he finished.
    2. Towards the end, if felt like my wife was favoring him over me when the three of us would get together and I was afraid that she was falling in love with him. (In point of fact, now, almost 30 years later, she admitted to me that she WAS falling in love with him and she was hoping that what started as a threesome would evolve into a stable polyamorous relationship with the three of us.)
    I'm convinced that if I'd had just a little more self-confidence and we'd talked more, the threesome would have lasted a lot longer. (Who knows. Maybe it would have turned out the way she hoped after all.)
     
  12. Naiwen

    Naiwen Member

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    What about you in this? What did you want?
     
  13. buzzgunner

    buzzgunner 180 grains of diplomacy Lifetime Supporter

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    I just wanted my wife and my friend to become long-term "fuck buddies", but nothing more emotional than that. I was OK with her sharing her body between me and him, I just didn't want her to share her heart.
     
  14. se7en_sins

    se7en_sins Member

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    Here is a slightly different perspective. I had a threesome with a couple. It was initiated by the female and half way through it I could tell he was starting to get really jealous. While we were doing it and he was playing with her tits she kept telling him how good I felt (I think this was more of a play for her then the truth lol).

    Thereafter he started saying I should cum and go.... This was a mood killer for everyone :p
     
  15. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Lifetime Supporter

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    Your last line is why I steer clear of threesomes.
    I care much more about emotional fidelity than sexual fidelity.

    My two aware poly partners deal with enough knowing the other. But put us in a room together and I'm afraid hearts will be hurt.
     
  16. Duck

    Duck quack. Lifetime Supporter

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    Eh, not everything is so black and white.

    And the question is asking for real life experiences; not advice or rules of thumb.

    I wouldn't even be surprised if most people trying threesomes had at least a little jealousy during the experience. Many people only do it once, and many into non-monogamous behavior are motivated by their jealousies.
     
  17. *MAMA*

    *MAMA* Perfectly Imperfect

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    My guy and I have had plenty of threesomes without jealousy. You talk before and sort out rules, then you discuss feelings next day to make sure the rules are catering to everyones needs and emotions.

    We are non-monogamous. We have zero jealousy issues, because we communicate.
     
  18. Moonglow181

    Moonglow181 Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    REAL communication is key for almost anything, isn't it, Mama?
     
  19. *MAMA*

    *MAMA* Perfectly Imperfect

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    Yes. Issues with threesomes, or any type of open relationship, begin when people harbor their emotions rather than handling them immediately.
     
  20. Moonglow181

    Moonglow181 Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    Yeah, I know...but real communication would apply to fixing almost any issues or misunderstandings....but impossible to do without it., is what mean....not just 3 somes....
    I think it is great and wonderful that you can have that with your guy, Mama.....I would never be a candidate for something like that, though.
     
  21. MochaMood

    MochaMood Member

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    Jealousy stems from fear of loss. Though I have lost loves, I have never had a fear of loss. I'm fairly egotistical. I always find it difficult to believe that my partners can do better, because...who would they have to find who would be better (overall) than I? I also do not subscribe to any notion of ownership, or possession of my partners. So, as with any other situation, I do not experience jealousy within any kind of group sex scenario.

    On the other hand, two of my partners have had the conflicting urge of wanting to share my body and show me off while being jealous of sexual attention I paid to other men. So, we only had threesomes with women, but we had foursomes that included men, and this satisfied their urges while mitigating their jealousy.
     

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