Does having Sex hurt?

I am a virgin and I'm scared as hell at the idea of having sex... I mean, I'm very afraid that it's going to hurt, to the point of having a phobia of sex... So I'm going to ask this question, will it hurt for the first time?

 

It depends. With a polar bear for instance it does hurt.

 

Lol, what if with a man with a bigger penis? I've heard it depends on the guy's penis size, is it true or not?

 

If it hurts, than you're doing something wrong!

Here, I found this on Go Ask Alice and I thought it was a better answer than I could provide:

"

Dear Alice,

I will be getting married in June. My fiancé and I are both virgins and intend to be until that night. How can I minimize the pain of first-time sex as well as maximize the pleasure of our honeymoon.


Dear Reader,

People's "first time" experiences can be romantic, exciting, sensual, fun, passionate, awkward, embarrassing, uncomfortable, disappointing, or any combination, so it's understandable that you want to find out more about making your and your fiancé's first intercourse together as pleasurable as possible.

To make the most out of your first experience, you may want to consider waiting until the morning or day after the wedding night when you are rested and ready to explore each other in a leisurely way, without fatigue or interruption. Depending on how sexually active you already are as a couple, you may want to leave extra time and energy to get to know each other's bodies and pleasure zones before jumping into vaginal and/or anal intercourse. Experimenting with outercourse, mutual masturbation, and/or oral sex can help you sexually connect with your fiancé and can often be just as or more satisfying than intercourse. Learning how to touch and fully arouse each other before attempting vaginal penetration is a key step for minimizing any discomfort or pain and maximizing pleasure.

As you learn how your bodies fit together, you and your fiancé can try some of the following tips to help you boost your bed bliss:

Focus on touching, kissing, and caressing each other in ways that heighten arousal before penetration.
Try to relax and take it slowly.
Talk with each other about what feels good and how you both like to be touched.
Create a pleasure chest that includes water-based lube, condoms (if you aren't using birth control and don't want to get pregnant at this time), books about sex, and other products for sex play, such as massage lotion or oil, lingerie, an erotic movie or book, and/or a vibrator. You may want to check out Toys in Babeland for sex tips, toys, books and more.
To help ease penetration, add a dab of water-based lube on the opening of the vagina and to the inside of the condom (if he is wearing one) before it is unrolled, and also to the outside of the penis or the condom. Reapply as often as necessary to ease any discomfort and increase pleasure.
Experiment with various positions.
If an erection goes away, remember it will most certainly come back.

While many women (and their partners) worry about discomfort or pain the first time they have vaginal intercourse, not all couples have this experience. If you do experience discomfort, communicate with your partner and make sure you are fully aroused, have enough lubrication — both her own or some extra — and are as relaxed as possible. If after these ideas, you still feel either discomfort or pain, try taking a break from intercourse; you can always try again later.

Lastly, remember that it's not uncommon for the first time to be less extraordinary than expected. Sometimes one or both partners do not orgasm. Other times, a man's erection might not last long or it might come and go, and a woman may be more lubricated and comfortable at some moments more than others. Being patient and taking your time, talking clearly, and learning/practicing are the best ways to allow the two of you to enjoy this newfound intimacy together. Even when the unexpected occurs, a couple's first experience can still be meaningful, positive, exciting, pleasurable, and/or fulfilling. A sense of humor goes a long way, and you have a lifetime together to learn."

http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/first-intercourse-minimizing-pain-and-maximizing-pleasure

That website is great and guided me through many a teenage issue

 

No, I have no experience with men.

 

just take it slow and easy, jeeze can you imagine a baby flopping out of there? im sure you can take a penis.

 

Have you ever used tampons ? They may have broken your hymen already & that will make it less hurtful if the guy has a big thick penis

 

From a guys perspective, if a woman is not very wet in the vagina, it can hurt him as its friction without a type of lube that can cause the penis to get sore as well.
Even with a condom fitted, you sometimes need lube as well. It's not always easy in & out -sometimes it takes time to penetrate if both are either nervous or not aroused enough.

 

Well the first step in helping sex not hurt is to calm down and relax.

 

Hubby was normal sized and it hurt a lot. Cried with the pain. He stopped for a minute then it got better but still hurt. I would advise that you have an orgasm FIRST (have him use his hands or mouth or both). Once you've had your orgasm, wait a couple of minutes for your body to relax and then try. Sex for me was uncomfortable for a couple of years (even after having first child). After second child, it was actually enjoyable. What is important is that he is attentive to your needs. Other than breaking the hymen during your first time, there shouldn't be pain other times. Discomfort- possibly. Depends on how tight you are and how big he is. Use LOTS of lube and communicate. This isn't a deal breaker. I know where you are coming from. I had the same fears and thought I'd be stuck in a marriage where sex would be dreaded because of discomfort. We talked about it and worked on it together. It took time and we had to figure out what worked for us, but we worked through it and after a couple of years, we both had a satisfying sex life.

 

Yes, I'm talking about when he'll break my hymen, will it hurt a lot or a little?

 

Literally BILLIONS of people have had sex. How are we supposed to know if it will hurt YOU or not?

 

Probably not as much if you're good and drunk.

 

I cried out in response to the pain. It was an automatic reaction. I was in my mid twenties. He was a careful gentle lover, but it hurt anyway. Some women don't feel any pain, and some do.

I used to worry about it too. I'm glad it's over with! Sex is enjoyable for me now (and has been for several years now.) What's important is that you take things slowly and do what feels right.

What I would have done differently is have him give me an orgasm first then have sex. We had sex and it hurt and he stopped. The next time we had sex, it hurt almost as much as the first time and I don't know if he didn't break the hymen fully or if I was just small or what. Eventually though, it got better. You need to be with someone who is understanding and willing to work with you until you get to the stage where its enjoyable. Also, use LOTS of lube. Love KY. Used to need it the first couple of years we were together, but hardly use it anymore.

Later on he confessed that it was painful for him as well- he said I squeezed him too tightly. I reminded him that I was the one who was bleeding, so I think my pain trumped his LOL.

 

first thing you need to understand is hymens don't get "broken", unless you have a septate hymen it is actually just a membrane that surround the edge. If you are properly aroused/prepared it hurts less and possibly not at all as has been mentioned before in this thread.

You Can't POP Your Cherry! (HYMEN 101)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qFojO8WkpA

 

Or if it does you might not even remember.

 

don't let this paranoia freak you out. If the timing is right and you are horny and such your body will make some natural lubricants, and so long as your not with a retarded boy you should be okay. It might hurt when he first puts it in but I believe that will subside.

Seriously if it hurt that much our species would have died off long ago...

 

It's different for everyone. But if you think it will hurt or are afraid it will hurt, you might tense up, expecting it to hurt and it very well could.

I don't remember any pain. There was no bleeding for me either. I do remember wondering what all the fuss was about, my first time was hardly earth shattering.

It took being with someone who really cared that I enjoyed it as much as he did, and then I did.

 

One trick to ease painful sex is to have an orgasm before he penetrates. That loosens and relaxes the vagina.

This is a trick that I learned on an all women's forum. Before I learned that tip, I had issues with painful sex.....because my partner and I were doing it before my body got warmed up enough.

 

@Asmo - LMAO.


It actually depends. For some, it may be painful or difficult at the first few attempts, and even a few months after; while for others, it's enjoyable on the second instance.