Living with a small penis

Allah was apologetic. He said that The Prophet was so excited upon hearing of Paradise that as he dictated to his scribe, the Earth shook upon which he wrote: Nay, He said; but there are not seventy virgins for each martyr; but just one virgin who is seventy.

 

GG ALLIN.

I'll see if anyone gets the reference…

 

Hey! G.G. Allin is my fucking hero, man. Not only was his music legendary, his dick was actually smaller than mine... And he clearly got naked just to have people laugh at his tiny dick in that masochist style of his.

Besides, didn't he rape girls on stage and they didn't press charges because his dick was so small no one felt anything? :2thumbsup:

 

Well, you have expressed interest in other people's opinions on your situation, and we have been giving you those. Sometimes our opinions may differ, and disagreements may occur. That is natural in my opinion.

But "empty words".....? Who's words have been empty so far?

You're only kidding yourself if you think you have a healthy attitude toward your penis. I mean, you obviously have a big hang-up about its size. Below is your initial post for this thread. I've even underlined the sections that especially suggests you're letting this issue get to you too much.

Don't get me wrong, it's great that you're being creative where lovemaking is concerned. But if you really think you accept your penis size, and try to make the best of your member, then why do you make it sound like it's useless? And what's so ethical about avoiding one night stands based on your penis size? If one said one would rather be in relationships and develop a solid, lasting bond with one's partner, than to have one night stands with those who might be too plastered to remember what happened the next day, then, to me personally, I'd say that's ethical. But not when it's based on the penis size. That isn't ethical, that's something more akin to cowardice in my opinion.

Why be afraid to ruin the mood when you two have way more important issues to deal with than your mere sexual arousal at that particular moment?

Okay, if the vibrator improves your sex life, then I'm glad to hear that. I hope it will help you two communicate better, too. I mean, I DO wish you the best.

 

I didn't mean to say that anything people have said here were empty words. I mean advice from "family", therapists, doctors, "friends" etc, are usually empty words. Like my mother finding out I'm a heroin addict and former alcoholic with suicidal plans and telling me to "just try and relax and not worry so much"... Empty words, no real advice, no real comfort or support.
But that's not the case here. I really appreciate the advice you have given.

In terms of my relationship with my penis: Like I said, my attitude has improved a lot the last two years. I worry less, but I still worry and I still see my penis size as the symbol of my uselessness as a man and human being. I laugh when my girlfriend calls me her "man" and asks if she meant to say "man child".
But I try, really try to accept it.
My stand on one night stands still apply. Is that cowardice or being nice? Why would I want to put myself in the position of maybe getting laughed at or - even worse - having the girl be all dissapointed and wanting to just get it over with? SOME girls would say my dick is small, and the possibility of meeting one of those girsl... Not worth it.

 

"You might be surprised just how many girls out there actually feel the big ones are just too intimidating psychologically and uncomfortable physically."

This is a true statement, if a cock is too big, it can sometimes be difficult to get pleasure out of that. It feels like my pussy is about to be ripped out, and that's not fun! As long as you know what to do with your cock when you are fucking, isnt that all that matters?

 

yes it is

 

I see. Well, I'm sure your mother had meant well when she said that to you, but it was just not something you necessarily wanted to hear at that point. I can only guess that she didn't know what to say about the situation.
At any rate, we appreciate that you appreciate our replies.

As for developing a more positive outlook on your penis size, I think it's one of those things where you have to keep reminding yourself over and over until, eventually, you start to truly see it as the truth. Of course, simply playing the words "it's big enough" repeatedly in your head probably won't be enough. Rather, I believe it comes hand in hand with boosting your overall self confidence, self-esteem, self respect.....you get the picture.

One thing about your girlfriend's calling you her "man", well, if she wishes to call you that, then honour that, and respect that. It might actually be more upsetting to her if you keep insisting that you're small. My SO said something extremely flattering the other day where she basically implied that my penis was huge. And I'm not gonna lie, I was a bit embarrassed when she said that(I mean, you know my size), lol. I instinctively told her it wasn't that big, but then she insisted that it was perfect for her, that it wasn't too small or too big, but that it was big enough to satisfy her, and that, above all, she loved it because it was mine. This is a young virgin woman who expresses her perception of her partner's penis(among other thing) with honesty, dignity, and a little bit of vulnerability at the same time. I understand this and I respect and honour her stance.

My penis may be small enough to be considered "small" at 5 inches, but to my girl, it's big enough for her to consider as "big". But more importantly, this is the penis of the man with whom she shares a deep romantic, emotional connection. And of course me being her very other half, I'm not about to dishonour the kind of positive attitude she has been expressing. This might be the case with your girl as well and, if so, you just might do more harm by insisting that you're not a man enough, or that you're not big enough. This is probably another matter you two might want to talk about, and really understand where each one of you is coming from. It might help reduce the awkwardness that might be felt between you two in situations where, for example, the word "man" is uttered. Nevertheless, it sounds like your attitude toward your penis has been improving. All I can say is, that's great and that you should keep it up(no pun intended, lol).

As for the one night stand topic... Well, "cowardice" perhaps isn't the right word, my apologies. Did you know that English isn't my first language? lol Totally besides the point, lol. xD I would say your attitude toward one night stands is the result of your lacking in the self-esteem/confidence department, not necessarily "cowardice" in its strict form. It may SEEM like a nice gesture, but all you're doing is place yourself below these girls, and also below the men who possess penises that are larger than yours. I mean, it doesn't matter since you've got a girlfriend, lol. But the ideal scenario(for one night stands, let's say) is that you are neither above nor below the girls you wish to sleep with for the night. That you're neither above nor below men with big dicks. But at the same time, you want to be on top of the situation. You want to be in control, and if some girl laughs at you, you want to be able to shrug it off and move on. 'Cause, you know what? It doesn't matter.

Do you meditate at all? This is something a friend of mine suggested to me a long time ago when I was under a lot of stress. I'm terrible at it because I rarely have time to do it, but it's a great way to introduce peace into your mind and soul from what I understand. You might want to look into it.

 

Let's not get into my my mother and what she meant to say. I could write an essay of how my mother is the typical child of a sociapath who herself grew up to tell her kids they are worthless and useless people who will never amount to anything - and who has never once kissed or told my dad she loved him, because she is incapable of feeling emotions apart from anger and aggression. Is she the source of my insecurity? Yes.
Did the fact that the first girl I ever fell in love with, who I loved madly and who - as the first woman - loved me madly and unconditionally, decided to, after two years, do dump me by e-mail and thus instilling an even larger sense of uselessness and failure than before, thereby repeating the message my mother gave/gives me.
History repeats itself is what I'm saying.
Nuff said.
Nuff also said about the fact that I've been in therapy and councelling since I was 15 due to social anxiety, feelings of inferiority and no self-confidence (diagnosis: dysthymia) and as such am "dealing" with it but with little results. Therefore the heroin which was confidence in a small bag of brown powder, but we all know where that story leads, right?

Regarding my girlfriend calling me her man, case in point:
Once in a while my girlfriend will attempt to open a jam jar and fail and give it to me to open. I open it right away because, guess what, it wasn't sitting tight at all. She gave it to me to fulfill the gender stereotype where the women is weak and needs help from the powerful man. The truth is she is much stronger than I am and will ever be.
She even pretended to lose in arm wrestling. She claims ignorance, but I know she let me win. I.e. she needs that conservative concept of the powerful man, the manly man, etc.
I try and respect her enough to go along with it, but I'm aware of the pattern.
It's basic Lacanian psychoanalysis, right. The man wants to possess the "phallus" (meaning whatever his definition of being a man is, i.e whatever his father possessed; Strength, status, money, etc. I.e. so he can become like his father and fuck his mother). The woman, on the other hand, wants to fuck her dad, so must be like her mother, i.e. to attract the phallus, which women do by displaying lack of phallus - lack of strength, lack of knowledge.
Which is why both my girlfriends I've had the incredible luck to be with, both walk around saying "Oh, I'm so dumb. I don't know anything. I'm useless."
But that's the game, right? Gotta play the game to get laid. Psychoanalytically we are all conservative. (AND, I include myself in there, no mistake.)

What your girlfriend says about your penis is pretty much the same as mine does. She says it's the perfect size for her, any bigger would just be painful, and - besides - any dick attached to me is perfect. "It's not about the dick, but the man the dick is attached to." And, like I said, I know that's the system for girls.
And in terms of romantic love, that makes sense. I mean, if my girlfriend got breast cancer and had to have them both removed (assuming I actually were into boobs, which I am not, but here goes) I would still find her the most beautiful girl in the world, and would not even think about it a second.
What I mean, I guess, is the...eh... "clubbing" mindset. Not that I go clubbing or nothing, but I mean that raw sex, random one night sex, that pure animal lust sex, that "porn"-sex does not entail the same mindset.
A girl will love a guy no matter what he is packing - most anyway - and thank god for that. But sometimes everyone - I think - want that "porn" sex, that dirty sex, and in that case, a small dick makes you drop characters, because of the natural limitations regarding small dicks. Does that make sense?
I just imagine (I know, here I go again) that my girlfriend loves me most of the time, and enjoys the sex, but once in a while wish I could sweep her off her feet and fall into raw, dirty sex without restrictions... That some part of her has that aspect, that "I'm a little girl and you're a well hung macho man who fucks me until I scream"...
You know? Doesn't everyone want that once in a while? "Fuck me like a man".
(But, perhaps the biggest obstacle for that kind of sex is primarily my low self-esteem, right?... I have thought about that.)

As for one night stands.
I DO place myself below those girls. Of course I do. I mean, hello? They are goddesses. I am below them in every sense. I sometimes wish I had a big dick so at least I would be their equal - or their desired object - in one single way...

BTW: Where are you from? English is not my first language either, as I'm sure you've gathered. I'm norwegian.
Mediation? I've been meditating since I was 17. Despite my bitterness, my attachment and hostility I am a former practising Buddhist, now an aspiring Advaitin (Hinduist) practising yoga and meditation on a weekly, if not daily, basis.
It does give me some peace, but I still feel rage, anger, stress, etc, because I am human and in the spirit of Jack Kornfield I both accept and try to get rid of those negative aspects.
Though I am extremely flawed, I still believe fully in the Eastern/Hinduist philosophy, meaning - for me - that God - Nirguna Brahaman - is inside me, non-different from me and that by meditating I am becoming a more pure reflection of Brahman who is All, meaning everything is One.
Namaste

 

Wow... Sorry to hear about all that stuff. Yeah, it would make things difficult to be with a mother like that. Although, your first girlfriend most likely broke up with you because it was just her time to get out of that relationship with you. But she did something wrong; she chose to broke up with you via email. She could have done that in person. But I don't think you would have felt the way you did had your mother not treated you the way she did. In any case, you are aware of all that now, which means you have something to work with in trying to improve your self-esteem and things. That is a good thing at least.

Oh, that's what your girlfriend does? Hmm..... :-/ You might want to address this issue with her. And as for the psychoanalysis you mentioned, I personally can't relate to that because I've never really experienced that myself. I just know it has a lot to do with how one has been brought up since infancy to adulthood. Mind you, I stopped playing the "game to get laid" as soon as I turned 20 myself. I even turned away from sex at some point as well for moral reasons, and I haven't been with anyone physically since. But I've always maintained the stance that I made the right choice for both my partner and myself.

Ahh yes, the "clubbing" mindset. Gotcha. Although, I still don't understand why you should feel like you can't have some pure, lustful, crazy sex with a nearly 5 inch penis. I mean, a lot of guys with penises smaller than that still manage this and get their girls screaming with pleasure. Think Asians, many Asian men have penises smaller than yours, and they seem to have no problem where their sex lives are concerned. And yes, I know they are generally more petite, but remember the babies that come out of the Asian women's vaginas aren't any smaller(or bigger) than the babies of the western world generally speaking.
How good the sex is, the way I understand it, depends on how a couple approaches the whole thing. I will say, though, that what you see in PORN is basically done for entertainment values. Things may be exaggerated, edited, faked, acted, scripted, so on so forth. I hold this idea that true sex born of pure instinctual lust is different from what you see in porn. Not to say it doesn't give us ideas sometimes in terms of different positions and whatnot, but I believe that true purely lustful sex is much more in-your-face emotionally in the end because nothing is scripted, yet something primal drives us into that intense realm.

I see what you're saying about those girls. But you know, just because they may APPEAR "goddess-like" on the outside doesn't mean they are automatically goddesses on the inside. Some of them just might have pretty shitty attitudes about different things. In the end, they are only humans, and their personality flaws can totally make them unattractive. I wouldn't want to share a bed with someone with a shitty personality.

Actually, I haven't. I mean, I wasn't really focusing on where you were from to begin with, lol. Well, I'm the mysterious one around here, so as a rule I don't disclose what my nationality is and things like that. But I'll PM you and tell you what my general ethnicity is.
It's great that you're practicing meditation and things. You're ahead of me right there, lol. xD The way I understand it is that it's a lifetime journey of sorts. As humans, it is natural to experience various emotions: positive, negative, ambiguous feelings, etc. And it can take a long time to sort out some of these feelings. But I think, sometimes, we actually are MEANT to take a long time to get somewhere. And during that journey, you experience different things and those things ultimately help you become the person you want to be. That's the way I look at it. Of course, when I'm stressed out, I have to REALLY remind myself to remember that, LOL. xD
Peace.

 

Regrettably, that's a reality for me (and more), due to the side effect of my meds.

Stamina may be one thing, but when it reaches the point when both partners are tired out, with the receiver getting sore, and no climax in sight, it's not the best of conditions.

 

I can totally relate to you as I, too, have been diagnosed as being Dysthymic, after I had previously been erroneously diagnosed, for years, as being Manic Depressive. Quite frankly after the shrink told me this I must admit I'd never heard of it, so I went straight online to look it up & what I foud was creepy - it was if the article was a case study of myself.

I often wonder how many others have also been misdiagnosed in this way, as everyone is probably familiar with the term "Manic Depressive", but hardly anyone has heard of "Dysthymia", and without having experienced, first hand, how it can screw with your mind, I could never get to grips with the therapists, as they sere just spouting text book junk. In a way, it's like how only a woman can truly 'know' what it's like to experience sex from a woman's perspective, and the same can be said of what a man experiences. It can only be assumed that orgasms feel much the same, as we all start off as females while in the womb, so the sexual organs remain the same, just differently formed & serving different functions, but the neural network is still probably the same.

 

I can't really help with the psychological traumatic childhood of being talked down too.

But I can say this, lots of pornstars are actually 5-7 inch range, only the camera angle makes it look big.
In porn where a girl is with a guy that is huge 7 or higher, you can see her flinch in pain in numerous occasions. Additionally, notice big dicks also have a couple inches unused during intercourse because it just doesn't fit.

So don't feel intimidated Israel Regardie, you mom is just plain wrong.

And you are what 4.9 inches? Mathematically you round that up to 5 inches which is in that range.

---

If anything go into a sexual situation with bravado, think of it as acting, and just watch the results.

I had size anxiety as well, and I noticed a change in response from women once I decided to experiment by taking on a different more confident attitude about my size. I had my doubts in my head sure, but those doubts went away once I realized the real obstacle was my own thoughts and perceptions about myself.

It hasn't been a problem for almost a year now.

 

Reading about dysthymia was scary for me too as it was basically a description of me. The confidence, the fear, the inferiority, all of it fit.

I was also diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder, which freaked me even more out. It turns out what I considered "quirks" were pathological symptoms.

• Hypersensitivity to rejection/criticism
• Self-imposed social isolation
• Extreme shyness or anxiety in social situations, though the person feels a strong desire for close relationships
• Feelings of inadequacy
• Severe low self-esteem
• Self-loathing
• Mistrust of others
• Emotional distancing related to intimacy
• Highly self-conscious
• Self-critical about their problems relating to others
• Problems in occupational functioning
• Lonely self-perception, although others may find the relationship with them meaningful
• Feeling inferior to others
• In some more extreme cases — agoraphobia
• Utilizes fantasy as a form of escapism and to interrupt painful thoughts

I just realized a key aspect:

Though my penis might reach 4,7" or so fully erect, when it's flaccid it's maybe 1,5"... Seriously. Some days it even retracts into my body a lot.
So, this is the key reason I never shower with other guys at the gym etc.
My penis is small, but it seems f*cking tiiny when flaccid.
That's the weird part, cause there are guys who have smaller penises erect, but whose flaccid penis is much bigger than mine.
(Which, in part, is also why I'm always hard when being naked with my girlfriend - well, that an other causal reasons - because when flaccid it barely exists.)

 

Showers vs Growers

I'm sure you are completely normal.
There is a "visual" size and a "functional" size.
visually you may be "meh" but functionally your fine. You just need to be more confident and maybe learn some "techniques" to better you performance and your confidence.

Here, go compare yourself to some normal pricks instead of exaggerated porn pricks;

http://www.channel4embarrassingillnesses.com/galleries/penis-gallery/

 

you think its rough for you, how about the girls? hmm? or is it just about you...

http://gawker.com/5669860/sex-tips-for-dating-a-man-with-a-small-dick

 

Seconded. XD

 

Nice. =P

 

Every one of those bullet points fits me to a 'T'.

 

Dude, worrying about your penis size when ERECT is one thing, but to be self conscious about it when it's FLACCID? That's something you just do NOT do! I mean, everyone's dick can get SUPER small, for instance, when they go under a really cold shower or whatever. I bet you anything mine can get smaller than yours in such situations, lol.

Now, you must understand that it is NOT weird that guys with seemingly big dicks when flaccid are small when erect. Conversely, guys whose dicks are small when flaccid can get their dick grow considerably larger when erect. In fact, this really is a very common thing.

Have a great weekend!