My ex of two years now says she's straight?

Discussion in 'Lesbian' started by LAURAHLMS, Mar 5, 2013.

  1. LAURAHLMS

    LAURAHLMS Guest

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    I was in a relationship with a beautiful girl, we were so incredibly intense for two and a half years. We were part of each others families, and our parents were incredibly shocked when we split..so was I.

    She broke up with me, out of the blue and now claims that she is completely straight..

    The trouble is, we meet regularly and she tells me she does not want anybody else, but she does not want a relationship with a girl. She also tells me that she still loves me and always will.

    It really broke me when we split up, and her now claiming to be straight is making things so much worse.. its humiliating.

    I guess I just want to know if anyone thinks it is possible to be straight after having a woman as your first love?
     
  2. Sap4

    Sap4 Member

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    My current gf has a similar experience in the past. My gf and her ex gf were together for quite a few years. Then similar thing happened. The ex said she has to get married with a man (means she said she is a straight). Is either your ex treated you as a best friend (but confused in herself) or she is unsure and couldn't accept herself as a lesbian (thus she claimed that she is a straight). Just my opinion though. You may take it as an advice but not too serious. Good luck!

    Edit: Also, the ex gf said that she felt sinful being together with a girl and she felt she has no future if she doesn't marry a man.
     
  3. CosmicIrony

    CosmicIrony Guest

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    How can she be completely straight if she was in a relationship with you for two years? Does religion have anything to do with this?
     
  4. yellowboot

    yellowboot Guest

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    I think sexuality for a lot of people can change, depending on environment, hormones, lifestyle... and if your ex says she is not gay now, than you shouldn't believe that it completely obliterates what you two had together. I understand that if this was something really special that you two had, she might need to put some distance between you, and maybe by announcing that she is straight is her way of expressing this.

    Personally I don't believe in identifying with a label, "straight" gay" as it can lead to complete misunderstanding in many situations... and what your ex is now saying about being straight is neither fair, or technically completely true. But she is entitled to her own preference and if this is how she wants to label herself than of course she can, but maybe you need to explain to her that what she says is hurtful. If she says she loves you, she should be able to emphasize, and understand.
     
  5. yv0nn3

    yv0nn3 Guest

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    sorry to hear that, i have a similar experience too.
    My ex told me she wanted to be with a guy , if not she wouldn't feel complete with her love life. and she even said she wanna have sex with guy to make her feel complete , but after everything done she wanna get back with me again . i'm so speechless when she told me and i totally have no idea what's on her mind? guy and sex ? that's hilarious !though i didn't tell i will never ever get back with her again.
     
  6. DaevaDyke

    DaevaDyke Guest

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    1 of my ex gfs did the same, but she knows she is bi only claiming str8 because she always hated the stigma of being bi. However she also always wanted and envied the str8 life becuz she wants kids, marriage, and to be completely accepted so I realize it was more about her obsession with the ideal rather then really waking up 1 day str8. She still tells me I was the love of her life and most important past relationship she had, but it didn't work for many reasons. Mainly in my eyes the fact she couldn't accept that her family was never going to approve of me & we were never going to have the ideal easier life str8 people get, but whatever I'm over being upset about it. It of course hurt when I 1st found out she was claiming to be str8 as we had a 3yr relationship that began with her pursuing me, we had an extremely active sex life, & she had always told me I was thee deepest love she ever had.

    I honestly hope she is happy with her next bf cuz her last was a loser fling in heteroland compared to our near marriage, but once she admitted that she just hates the term bi even though she would consider dating another cute girl again if one comes her way I was less hurt and ok with it.

    We have stayed friends since we dated over 10 yrs ago & while I don't want to feel dismissed like we didn't mean anything or like she was any less into me then then she is now to guys, but I get that she is bi and moved on to the guy side wanting to hide her bisexuality as bis really get a bad rep especial if they get with str8guys who then think they get a 3some out of it when my ex is soo not the sharing type. She just is bi and loves whoever she falls for & claims to bee on whatever team that makes her for the moment.
     
  7. sophiemcf

    sophiemcf Guest

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    My ex did this too. Apparently, I was the only girl she would ever be with (she said this while we were together). She said that if she wasn't with me, she would be with a man. I found this frankly ridiculous. How can someone be in a relationship (in our case for almost 4 years) and not think that they would be with another woman at all. I still believe that she possibly didn't even love me and was just confused for a massive period of time. I don't think you can be with someone of one gender and state that you will never have feelings for another person of that sex. Just doesn't add up in my book! :)
     
  8. SorrowfulBird

    SorrowfulBird Guest

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    The same thing happened with me, mate. A month ago she was a lesbian. But now she claims to have a desire to marry a guy and have his kids. We were together for 11 months. It sucks big time .
     

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