just caught boyfriend cheating with a guy

Discussion in 'Bisexual' started by loveacceptance, Feb 13, 2013.

  1. loveacceptance

    loveacceptance Guest

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    Okay we have been together for five years live together the whole time. I dont have much sexual experience before us. But I'm very open minded. I had also been in a relationship with a girl for 7 months I feel in love she broke my heart. In my relationship now I enjoy fingering my boyfriend and I like having strap on sex. I actually brought up doing those things to my boyfriend first I had always been turned on by it but never comfortable enough with anyone else to express it. So about 2 or 3 months ago my boyfriend started being really mean,inconsiderate,very secretive,and defensive. Plus he wouldn't have sex with me or anything. I knew it the back of my mind he was cheating I just couldn't believe it without proof because I never thought he was capable of cheating on me. So his strange behavior caused me to be deeply depressed,cryed all the time,begged pleaded for him to tell me why. He always had a different story and none of them were true. But he always got super shitty and mean he never showed that he felt bad for putting me thru it at the time. He was completely detached. So I obsessively started snooping thru his stuff to find out what was going on because he was not his self. I hacked into a secret email account and found the proof. He was cheating with guys.he said he was ashamed that's why he took it out on me instead of telling me. I' the only person that knows other then the men hes slept with. He says he not attracted to them just dick that he's a bottom, he said that it would freak him out if they kissed him or caressed him. He said its just sex. I expressed to him before that I was turned on by the threesome thing ffm,mfm we had talked about both I'm hurt because he cheated then treated me like shit.I love him and I'm trying my best to understand but he's so assamed and defensive and I'm so uneducated that its hard for me to fully understand with the information he's giving me please help. I want to be part of this with him but I'm hurt by the fact he cheated and I'm insecure BC of it. I don't want this to ruin us when it could have brought us closer.
     
  2. I'minmyunderwear

    I'minmyunderwear Newbie

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    was it the emotional abuse or the cheating that could have brought you closer?
     
  3. dark suger

    dark suger Dripping With Sin!

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    Mmmm mmmm drop him! Girl u are 22 this is not the time for u to be out there letting some mans bullshit affect u. That's what ur 40s are for. He doesn't love u and he has not treated u like the queen that u are. He needs to fix himself and then maybe he can come back to u after u have had some fun of ur own. How dare he take out his insecurities out on u. How dare u allow a man to make you self conscious and insecure. U captain ur ship now set a course for freedom and adventure girl that's what ur 20s are about.
     
  4. loveacceptance

    loveacceptance Guest

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    He is showing remorse now and he is trying to be nicer I'm just afraid that the damage is already done I am open I suggested swinging so we could have the same experience with out the negative undertone that him cheating has put on the threesome thing only swinging we could do together I've always wanted to try it I've always found it exciting. But In the back of mymind I'm worried that he will continue to cheat anyway.
     
  5. loveacceptance

    loveacceptance Guest

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    I have never been able to act on these fantasys that I've had or even talk about them with anyone but him. I think that's why it hurts so much that he didn't feel the same way about be. But I have experienced some of the things with him I always wanted to like BC I have been n a relationship with a girl I always wanted to fuck him or incorporate butt play. I just don't understand it from his aspect. My mind is telling me cheauing is cheating no matter which gender its with. But my heart loves him so much and if somehow we can maybe find away to work through it we will have the relationship I thought we had.
     
  6. loveacceptance

    loveacceptance Guest

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    The threesome situation being able to share that experience would have brought us closer if he wouldnt have cheated first but I'm still not entirely closed to the idea just hurt by the betrayal. The thought of him sharing a dick with me or me giving him head while hes getting fucked still turns me on totally but him doing it without me and the sneaking and lying still pisses me off does that make sense?
     
  7. loveacceptance

    loveacceptance Guest

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    Please someone help me understand this
     
  8. rondeux

    rondeux Members

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    You might mean well, but you ruined him! Never play with a man's ass! Even if he likes it, he may not be able to deal with the fact.
    Some guys have killed gay men because they found themselves aroused by them, and they grew up thinking that being gay is the
    most wrongful thing you can ever do. Their manhood is threatened and everything and its too much for them to take. It a wonder he didn't
    start beating you.
     
  9. la Principessa

    la Principessa Old School HF Member

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    Cheating is cheating. He did it behind your back. I caught my last boyfriend having sex chats with both women and men. I had been honest with him about my being bisexual, but he wasn't and he decided to go behind my back. There's no excuse for it. It's your relationship and your life but I wouldn't trust him again.
     

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