Getting your gf to give head

I agree with this quote except for the "she ain't worth the time" part. I certainly wouldn't give her something she won't give back, however.

How important of an issue is this in your relationship? She can suck you off without swallowing. You could put peppermint on your penis (don't knock it until you try it) so it doesn't taste so bad to her. You could also, subtly, hint that if you can't get it at home, you can't be sure you won't find what you need elsewhere.

Good luck.

 

Wait... she's had some kind of vaginal infection for the last TWO YEARS? But you can still go down on her, and that's fine?

Something ain't right, here.

Aside from that, I was going to say something about how not only is giving head an acquired taste (it took me a long time to be OK with precum, let alone semen in my mouth) but it's also an acquired skill; it can be exhausting and make your jaw sore, especially with a very thick penis or if the woman has TMJ. Some women are more prone to gagging, and that can make giving head challenging... there are ways to work around this IME, but it takes patience.

The best way to get a woman to the point of being comfortable giving you head, IMO, is to ask her to explore you orally while you're lying flat on your back. If a woman is hesitant or inexperienced, NEVER push her head or thrust... that's a quick way to guarantee that she never goes down on you again and/or develops an aversion to giving oral sex. Hurting someone or making them gag or choke during an act they are not sure about yet is a surefire way to make up their mind that they don't like it.

She needs to be in control, and you should warn her when you're about to cum so that she has the choice of pulling away and finishing you with her hand, or you finishing yourself. If you can help make her introductory explorations into oral sex pleasant and undemanding, you may find that she enjoys it more and more, until she actually wants it and it turns her on as much as eating her out turns you on.

 

You call her a girlfriend. I mention this because the term implies (for me) a certain amount of emotional connection.

The dichotomy of Cunnilingus vs. fellatio is a false on in this context.

You like both cunnilingus and fellatio. She likes cunnilingus, but doesn't like fellatio.

If you want to play the "don't give her what she won't give you" game.
Ask yourself, "What do I dislike, but give her because she likes it?"

If you are "keeping score", cunnilingus doesn't give you any points, you both like it.
The (hypothetical) BJ that you are seeking would give her points, you like it she doesn't, she gets a point.
What are you doing that she likes, but you don't, that gives you points to redeem in this dominance game?

 

I am disturbed by how much of the advice given here is of the "punish her into doing what you want" nature, as opposed to exploring options for making it pleasurable and non-threatening for her so that she has a chance to get to like it.

Buying couple's sex books and reading them together might help as well. Most women want sex, but our culture has put such an ugly veneer on so much of it that it can be hard for some women to accept and enjoy their sex drive. Helping her get in touch with her own drive can make all the difference in the world.

 

I don't agree with this approach. Scorekeeping never, ever ends well.

The real issue is that his sexual needs aren't being met. If sex was incredible in every other way but she didn't like giving head, that would be one thing. But it sounds like his needs are simply not being met, and they need to be able to talk to each other and work through that.

Most couples have one partner with a higher sex drive. That's totally normal. It just shouldn't be so mismatched that the person with the higher drive is perpetually frustrated while the person with the lower sex drive is perfectly satisfied. My last boyfriend and I were completely mismatched; he was a once-a-week person and I am an every day person. It didn't work out.

 

Mayor, I think that you and I are in basic agreement about this thread. My post was intended to steer the thinking away from the "make her" approach that we both dislike and move towards the (correct) position that you expressed in post #24.

My post was a step in the right direction, yours was a single jump all the way to the right conclusion.

The only addition I would make to your post is that there are sexual activities that people engage in, not because they bring pleasure to the actor, but because they bring pleasure to the actor's partner. The actor doesn't get pleasure from the act, they get joy from having pleasured their partner. I see nothing wrong in those kinds of sex acts. (Actually, if a relationship is to last, both partners will have to engage in those kinds of activities. Its a lot easier to "accommodate your partners desires" than it is to "adjust both our desires to match")

 

This is a great statement and one of the keys to a healthy relationship.

 

Thanks MikeE... I definitely agree with you about pleasuring one's partner purely for the joy of bringing them pleasure. I think that after a while, though, the excitement of doing something that turns on your partner tends to transfer into a pleasure in the act. In a loving relationship with good communication, arousal often turns into a wonderful feedback loop.

In a healthy relationship, both partners will do their best to accommodate the other, I think. The guy who has a twice a week sex drive and the girl who has a four times a week sex drive may find that they can both be happy with three times a week, plus one morning a week where he just holds and kisses her while she masturbates. They both get their needs met, and it makes their bond that much stronger.

 

There is nothing degrading about liking to give pleasure. Most of the women I've been with have liked sucking cock. I love to eat pussy. I've also respected all of them not "Treating them like a human Urinal" as you so eloquently put it in another post.

Do you think there's anything wrong with the fact that you like to eat pussy?

In general your posts read like you have been for lack of a better word brainwashed by the religious right to believe that sex is only for procreation, and that any type of sex that doesn't at least have the possibility for that is "Shameful" or "Unnatural" leading one to a life of hell.

Guess what. Hell is between your ears. It is a mindset. Heaven is also. We don't have to die to experience it. We create it for ourselves every day on Earth. One of the ways we do it is through sex.

There is a whole beautiful spectrum between down, dirty, ugly, degrading sex and high beautiful, spiritual union sex. To me they all give us experience that can lead us to be better humans and make our little bit of heaven here.

I'll chalk up your rude, judgmental, misogynistic comments to a combination of being brought up in a strict religious environment, and youth. There is something slightly schitzo about your online persona. Just the fact that you post under 2 different names is kind of weird. But the fact that you can post about wanting to lick ass one minute to criticizing people who have anal sex the next is straight up bizarre.

Stay Brown,
Rev J

 

"Hell is between your ears."

It is clear that you, sir, have never been in Hanford.

 

There is not a thing degrading or dirty about giving or receiving head in my life with my lady! To both of us it is about appreciating your partner and a selfless act of giving that person pleasure that is all about them. Cherishing that persons most personel place that they are sharing with you. What goes around comes around in our house so both of us are very well takin care of. It was the act that first released the squirter in my lady and opened up our sex life for that new adventure. It was something that was never easy for her to give back having TMJ and a bad gage reflex, but has never stopped her from putting her best into it and learning techniques to compinsate for the things that cause her pain! Through oral sex we have learned so much about each others sexual organs and where all the good spots are! How can that be a bad a degrading thing? It is all win.

 

God I'm so fucking frustrated right now.

One the one hand I'm really angry about how she can neglect me that easily without worrying about it. On the other hand I'm too much of a wuss to confront her with it. GAH.

 

Communication is the key to healthy relationships, so I suggest you get over that ASAP.

 

The only time when any action, sexual or otherwise, can be considered as degrading is when it's non-consensual. Any other time is a simple matter of pleasure sharing.

 

She's just being selfish. Secondly, only whores give head with a condom. Your GF is like a fucking 8 track tape. Bitches who don't suck dick are becoming extinct. You want a girl who actually enjoys sucking you off...or at least acts like she loves it. Make yourself less and less accessable. If she refuses to suck it, just decline the sex all together. Go to AFF and find yourself a back up chick who will suck it all night.

 

couldn't agree more. Just put the effort.

 

Just say you won't cum in her mouth and unleash on her face, neck or tits. It rubs the lotion on it's skin...

Either way, she's being very selfish and your best bet is to get a new girlfriend with an unquenchable thirst for baby batter because a life without blowjobs isn't a life at all.

 

There have been a bunch of suggestions that you can get her to give you head by making her feel guilty, by withholding things such as money or services, etc.

If you can coerce your GF into giving you head, what you get isn't going to be very good.

For her to give you a good blowjob she needs to WANT to do it. Even a skilled sex professional who is doing it only because she wants the money will not do as well as an amateur partner that is motivated by love to please her partner .... although if she is a beginner you'll have to do a lot of teaching before she can catch up and pass that professional cock sucker .... but you will end up with a sex partner that makes not instead of just performing sex acts.

 

Yes!

It also makes you a horrible and repugnant human being.

COMMUNICATION is key.

 

You Appear To Have Totally Missed His Point, May I suggest You Read His

Post Again....



Cheers Glen.