What Opioids Are YOU On RIGHT NOW ?? (Part VII)

The old thread was getting too long. In the past, BottleFED would usually truncate the thread after like 25 pages, so I will continue his tradition and start a new one.

This thread was started on MAY 20, 2012 just in case you were browsing this in the future.

What Opioids Are You On Right Now? is the question. So simply reply, letting our small community know what opioids you are taking right now or have taken today (or recently). Also feel free to post any new developments in your relationship with opioids like new scripts.

Also, feel free to ask other members for advice about Pain Management or Recovery. This is the place!

Best,

ETK

 

Today, I have only had 2 mg of Suboxone so far. But I think that going up to 5 mg per day has been helping my bipolar episode, along with the Lithium of course. So I will make sure to take another 2-3 mg at some point this evening even though I am more in a "speed" mode.

Today feels like a turning point in my recent bipolar "phase change" that started about a month ago. Since starting the Lithium and higher Suboxone six days ago, I finally feel some real improvement. I am significantly less irritable and don't feel like my mind is a furry of angry racing thoughts.

 

4mgs of ma suboxone film strips, i,m pesr. 8mgs a day. but try to only use 6mgs. almost a month clean of herion, and i don,t miss it. suboxone truly is a wonder drug. thanks for starting a new part 7 thread etkearne how have you been making out lately?

 

I am so happy for you. We both have a lot to thank Suboxone for, that's for sure.

I am doing good, but have struggled with a "mixed" phase of my underlying bipolar element (I have Schizoaffective Disorder which is a combination essentially of Bipolar Disorder and Psychosis) that came out of nowhere. But see my above post for my progress.

 

take ma other 2mgs here i can,t get movatited today.but i know i,m not REALLY clean the sub is a drug it,s self, i traded one for a safer, cleaner, legal drug. but it really helps with ma anxity i go out in public more often, and it helps with depression a little but sometimes i just wanna get away from myself. i get angry easy and it,s for the rest of the day usually, i think i need something more to help with that(it,s been worse since ma dad killed his self and his side of the family come and took his harley from me (he put the title it in his sister,s name days before, so he really did hate me.) told me they don,t want me to be a part of there family anymore.they were a big fam. 8 uncles and kids? there all around this little town of probally only 2,000 people.they just look the other way. that fucks with my head everyday, i guess i just gotta bite the bullet and dish out some more money to one of the mental health places ma doc. recommend.

and hope thats working for ya to feel better, havent seen ya posting much was wondering how ya was.

 

Family bitterness can most definitely take a major toll on one's life. I have been lucky to have a good family relationship. However, I witness the fallout of my mother's traumatic childhood to this day (she is 54 years old).

Her father was put up for adoption when he was seven because his father was a complete maniac who had three separate "wives" in different parts of the USA and Canada (he was an English Canadian- keep in mind this is back in the 1920s!) who he treated terribly.

When he WAS adopted, his mean German adoptive parents beat the hell out of him and also emotionally abused him, burning his hands over a gas stove as a punishment for minor things.

When he married and had children (my Mom being one), his repressed trauma exploded and he and his equally crazy wife (my mother's mother) treated my mother diabolically. They both took turns to beat her, belittled her, told her she was worthless, etc. They also would conduct inspections of her if she went out for even five minutes (my grandfather, like me, has a form of Schizophrenia). They were paranoid maniacs and they kicked my Mom out when she was 18 even though my mother is saintly.

It is terrible, because I see the pain she suffered in her childhood come out all of the time, even forty years later. She is incredibly anxious, she suffers from PTSD and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and is a very fragile person. I will never forgive my ancestors for what they did to my mother. Luckily, she is finally getting help, going to therapy (which is helping with the PTSD a lot) and taking meds (Prozac and Xanax).


I just wanted to share my story so that you realize that you aren't alone in dealing with truly EVIL relatives.

 

i wish the best for her. and you, thats to bad going through all those years holding that in must have been hell. and going through it. things were differant back then i guess( like mental health help and child abuse) i just don,t have the money, and can,t get the time off work( i work for mennoites they don,t believe in takin off work for anything) and can,t get help with things like the access card to help pay because i owe the IRS money. they won,t do over the phone theropy either. most days it,s hard to just make it through without horribal thoughts of harming others and mainly myself. and it,s hard to tell why, i live nice have a nice trailer with an addition main bedroom and full basement on 2.5 acres my kids and womon, a camaro(only 3.4 auto w/ 164,450 but its nice) and ma beater car(87 subaru justy 3 cylinder easy on gas) she has an ford explorer. we get the kids what we can they have dirt bikes, kindel fire, xbox 360. yet everyday i,m just so sad and depressed, when i srarted the subs i felt wonderful but it,s starting to fade. idk.. thanks for shareing etkearne. i,m truely sorry we got off on the wrong note a long time ago there, that was my drinkin sorry again. it does,nt help my problems either, but it gets me through the day.and i think might have a few things to learn from you......thanks..take care

whoops! i think i started turning the what opiates you on thread, into mental health.

 

Who cares man that's what this little family is about we might get off track but oh well if we need to vent then let's do it! And I hear ya stoner. I know how you feel about having nearly everything we need it might not be a mansion or a porche i live in a 1 bed 1 bath apt and manage to get by but yet we both still seem to get caught in this depression that takes over our lives (or at least that's how it is for me. At times it can seem paralyzing). But I have to focus on the positives.

I have in my life for me my biggest positive inspiration is my girlfriend. We were together for a little over a year before we moved in together. And it's been about a year and a half living together and I love her even more than the day I met her. She stayed by my side through 3 relapses which I lied to her about until I no longer could hide it and needed help again. Every single time I quit she would be there everyday to take care of me. Getting me whatever I needed, rubbing my back, changing/cleaning my puke bucket and sheets, and no matter how angry or depressed or agitated I got she always understood what I needed to help me and did everything in her power to help me feel better even though I had lied to her. She is my rock and is what keeps me going stoner. For you it might be your significant other or your kids or even your backyard but you have to have that little escape that helps you through all the tough times. I didn't know really how important that was until I met my girlfriend. And trust me I used to never be the tied down type but this girl was something special and I couldnt get her out of my head and finally after about 2 wells of just talking and hanging out we got together finally. I truely believe she saved my life. If I hadn't had her to help me see the light and see how much I had going for me and how much my family and friends would be affected if I kept down the path I was on.

I don't know if this will help you at all but this is my personal experience and how I try to handle my tough times and trust me these last couple of weeks have been rough on me and I know they have on you to. But despite all the distractions and ppl trying to call you back I'm glad you found the inner strength to not just stay clean but also use less than what the doc rx'ed you that's really great man and I really hope you can keep it up and shoot for those 3,6,12 month goals! I know you can do it man.

Good luck man,
Hydropersistent

 

about 1/8g of some good tar. tee hee.

 

So far today, I have taken 3 mg of Suboxone. I took it about three hours ago. I will probably take another 2 mg like me and the doctor decided on. But honestly, I want to go back down to 3 mg per day as I am feeling very "groggy" from taking so much. But on the other hand, my mental condition has improved immensely, so I might keep up the 5 mg for another week or so. But I definitely want to go back to just 3 mg per day soon.

 

just 4mgs of ma suboxone, mood,s been a little better lately. but ive been lazy also. oh well can,t win em all.

 

You say you are from Pennsylvania. Well I honestly believe part of my latest laziness is due (in part) to the crappy weather we have. It has been cloudy here for many days in a row now with no end in sight in the forecast.

 

yeah right by altoona , it just got sunny here now the past half hour or so. i,m gonna smoke a pipe an sit her, then mabye mow a little grass. but by then it,ll probally start raining again.

 

How long until you are off of suboxone or cut down the dose?

 

He's only been off the H for a month if I'm not mistaken. I don't think it would be wise to just stop after that short of a time. But that's my .02 i would say around 6 months before starting a taper down.

 

It really IS a person-by-person decision. The Suboxone doctor (or at least a good one) should be able to judge each case with their own discretion, acknowledging ALL factors including but not limited to, concurrent psychiatric or psychological problems. Thus, this is why some folks stay on Suboxone for two weeks and never relapse, and others take it for years (but still don't relapse).

 

True that ETK. I guess addiction itself is a person by person issue.

Well today is prolly one of my last days of real fun for a while. After this I'm goin to start a taper to get off the morphine. The WDs from this are some of the most wicked WDs I have personally ever experienced and I have been through this plenty of times. I will still have my hydros but oddly enough I will still be in almost full blown WDs even while on 30-40mgs of hydro. My tolly has gotten WAY out of control and when I can't meet it I am in a TON of pain so I'm trying to hop off this train while i can. So for today......

30mgs morphine (plugged) +.1 coke
30mgs hydrocodone (orally)
400mgs Tagamet (orally)
Pot (smoked)
Hash (smoked)
.1 coke (snorted)

If I can come through with just 15 more morphine I'm going to start a taper that will begin with today and the next 2 days doing 30mgs each day. Then I'll drop down to 2/3 of a 30mg for 4 days. Then 4 days taking a 1/2 of a 30. Then 4 days of taking 1/4 of a 30. Then 4 days taking a whole 30 orally. 4 days taking 1/2 a 30 orally. And finally 4 days eating a quarter of a 30 a day. From there I'll prolly cut back by 1/2 of a hydro a day till I'm at 2.5 a day from the 4 a day I'm on now. So I can get myself to where 3 hydros a day is good and 4 is great. This run was ridiculously fun but I gotta get my shit back on track and straiten my life out.
Sorry for the rant guys. It seems we're all cutting back these days huh?

 

Well, I hope it goes smoothly for you. That sounds like a reasonable taper. I'm running a little low myself. I'll probably order my Hydro refill on Thu. So for about a week I'll probably get by on the Methadones I've saved up. I'm not sure how to really dose that. A few weeks ago I did 30mg and was basically fucked up for 3 days, lol. I guess I'll break them in half and see what 5mg does to me and take it from there. I should be able to get by on 20mg per day, or maybe even less. They take about an hour to go into effect, and then it doesn't peak for several hours after that, so you have to be careful. And you can't take that shit on an empty stomach either. But in terms of pain control they're outstanding.

 

Ugh I wish I could find some mdone more than anything that would really help!

 

8mgs of suboxone today.and yeah this is just ma first month off H. also i,ll be staying on it as long as i can, it just helps with everything. My dose is 8mgs a day and i like having my dose at 8 so i have a few mgs to play with sometimes this is only the 2nd time i,ve did a whole 8mgs in a day. most days it,s 6mg. or even 4.