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I am sexually attracted to myself


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#1 Clodagh

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Posted April 21 2012 - 09:33 AM

Or at least I think I am

Hi, I am new to this site. I was looking for somewhere to discuss this, and this forum seemed quite open. Bare with me here as I try to explain.

I am a straight male, 28 years old. I know, I know, you are thinking "how can you be straight", but after several years wondering myself, it is the only conclusion I can come to. I have only ever been attracted to the feminine form, and masculinity does nothing for me. I have a girlfriend who I care about very much. Indeed by all considerations I a very average person, except...

I am a part time crossdresser. It is something I got into out of boredom really. I saw other people do it quite successfully on the internet, and I found it exciting. I have only ever met a couple of other people while dressed, and do not go out in public. i have no interest in taking it much further really. Now for the weirder part...

If I can be so big-headed, I think I look pretty good as a girl. Indeed, when I first tried dressing, I was surprised as to how good I could appear with little effort. I dress myself in a way that I find attractive, take pictures and videos, and post them on various sites. This was a real sexual turn on for me. The attention I was getting from admirers, the thoughts of being treated like a girl etc., all sexual thrills. But before long I noticed that I was masturbating looking at pictures of myself dressed up.

It was not just the idea of being dressed that turned me on, but I actively wanted to be there with the girl in the picture. In truth, the girl in the picture, was a different person to me. I wanted to run my hands on her legs, kiss her lips. I wanted to fuck her. In essence I wanted to fuck myself. Soon, it was not just the impersonality of the photos and movies that did this to me. I could dress up, stand in front of the mirror, and the arousal would be immediate. The girl staring back at me was my dream girl, I wanted her. By the looks of things she wanted me.

This side of my life is only a very small part of me and indeed, only a fraction of my sexual life. however, I fear that it is an unhealthy one. Has anyone ever come across anything like this? Does anyone have any advice?

I know, you probably all hate me, what a big headed narcissistic bastard. Anyway thats my story. I will post pictures of myself in girl mode if required, but that is not really what this is about.

#2 lugubrious

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Posted April 21 2012 - 09:39 AM

So what's the question? You want to know if this is unhealthy? I say if it makes you feel good and you're not hurting anyone, there's no problem. You may want to let your girlfriend know about it, though.

#3 Clodagh

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Posted April 21 2012 - 09:41 AM

So what's the question? You want to know if this is unhealthy? I say if it makes you feel good and you're not hurting anyone, there's no problem. You may want to let your girlfriend know about it, though.


Maybe in time. We are only going out for a few months, and I don't want to scare her off.

#4 Invisible Soul

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Posted April 21 2012 - 09:43 AM

So what's the question? You want to know if this is unhealthy? I say if it makes you feel good and you're not hurting anyone, there's no problem. You may want to let your girlfriend know about it, though.


Agreed. It has to be better than feeling physically sick when you look at yourself in the mirror like I do anyways. lol

I've always said as long as you're not hurting anyone else by your actions, then people should be allowed to do whatever they want so... I wouldn't worry about it.

#5 kairilove

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Posted April 21 2012 - 10:04 AM

Why worry yourself? I get off on being severely sexually tortured and abused... we all have our own flavors. If it is not harming anyone, or in certain cases only harming those who like it, don't get bent out of shape about it, just take pleasure in fulfilling your desires. It seems like just a kink to me.

But on the girlfriend thing, be careful where you tread. It depends on your relationship but sometimes it is the safer option to risking scaring her off rather than stringing her along with a lie by omission. That might piss me off, but you know her, I don't, so it is your call. Hopefully if you really like her it will not be a deal breaker whenever you do share.

#6 Invisible Soul

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Posted April 21 2012 - 10:10 AM

But on the girlfriend thing, be careful where you tread. It depends on your relationship but sometimes it is the safer option to risking scaring her off rather than stringing her along with a lie by omission. That might piss me off, but you know her, I don't, so it is your call. Hopefully if you really like her it will not be a deal breaker whenever you do share.


Yep, I agree. I definitely think he should tell his girlfriend about it. I know if it were me, (the gf) I'd want to know. If you are serious about her, you need to tell her.

#7 Vanilla Gorilla

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Posted April 21 2012 - 02:16 PM

How you be straight? I think anyone with a little experience on the subject Isnt going to think that. Met plenty of gay guys that love to dress up as a girl to mime Abba numbers, but even thatsover characturized.Thats more about imitating their idols. Its always over the top with makeup and hair. You never see one of those shows where they are in fishnets and lingerie

Never met one tha was into it in a sexual sense. Thats definatly a hetero thing.

And not just the guys, the girls as well. Theres a certain kink in some girls about guys cross dressing. Just ask out esteemed Orison, his trade as it were comprises of mostly younger girls.

As for telling your girlfriend, if you say you can look good as a girl with little effort, then that would mean you have the build and features for it. You dont have a big honking nose or just would look like a footballer in a dress. Which would be a big reason she,s with you in the first place. Chances are your girlfriend is going to be into it, as i said that kink is their in a lot of girls, just as long as it doesnt make her insecure, in that its going go lead you to stray

#8 orison319

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Posted April 21 2012 - 02:22 PM

I dont always dress up for other peoples eyes..


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#9 Giant

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Posted April 22 2012 - 07:28 AM

I imagine, but don't know, that at least half of the world's cross-dressers feel this way. Try to find one to talk to, there are a few on here.