Wow I am the worst lesbian ever for spelling it incorrectly in the title..oooops. Hello everyone! I am in need of some advice: within the past three months, I have developed a HUGE crush on my coworker. A little background: I am 25, a lesbian and I have been with my girlfriend for three years and we live together. Believe it or not, our relationship is good! The reason I mention this is because I know that some would suggest that the reason I am crushing on my coworker is because I feel that there is something missing from my relationship and that very well could be, but I feel there is more to it. I developed these feelings during our work holiday outing in December to a local bar. Admittedly, I had a few drinks and when I glanced over at the table I suddenly realized how attractive my coworker was. The "beer goggles" wore off, obviously, but I still find her irresistable. Just a little background on my coworker: She is 26 and married to a man. They have been together for five years. Pump the brakes, right? Not really...she is married strictly for the health insurance, in her exact words. We are friends, I should mention that and frequently text. Last month, I text her that sometimes I found her attractive and that I wasn't quite sure what to do with it. She texted back that she admittedly feels the same. When I asked her if we should act on it she said she needed to think. Fast forward three weeks, her and I have a conversation on the phone on the topic and she told me that when she thinks about me, she never indulges in it because in order for us to pursue anything, I would need to break up with my girlfriend and she with her husband. So, to kiss her, I would need to give up a lot...what scares me is that my feelings for her have developed so much that I'm slowly starting to consider it. Is it horrible that I want to kiss her to see if her and I have the electricity that I think we have? The last time my girlfriend and I had sex, when I climaxed I thought of my coworker...See, this is bad... I won't let myself be alone with her because I'm worried that I'll do/say something really dumb. Thoughts anyone? Thank you for taking the time to read this jumble of thoughts.
I met my wife in this exact way. I was with my previous ex for 7 years then I met my now wife at work. She was not married to a man, but she was with someone for 20 yrs. We each had houses with our exes. The advice I give you, don't cheat. I did, and it was the worst thing I did in my life. Fantasy is one thing but to actually do it, hurt my ex real bad. Although we had a good relationship too, I also felt something was missing. I started talking to my now wife on the phone after hours from work everyday. Then, one thing led to another and we both left our exes and now obviously married. But, to this day I still regret how I treated my ex, she definitely didn't deserve that. We did work it out finally and she was actually my maid of honor at my wedding. It was a really bad break up though. Fighting, windows breaking, etc. not good. Also, remember once you make that decision to leave you can't go back. Really think what you want, why you are attracted to your co-worker, and if you do leave are you going to be happy with your choices.
Thank you for your advice iwanttofeelher. I don't think cheating will happen in this situation. She has expressed that she could never cheat on her husband. In order for us to even kiss, major shifts in our lives need :afro:to happen. It would be a big risk for either of us. Even if I do end up leaving my gf that is no guarantee that my coworker would leave her husband and then I'd really be up the creek.
