Lesbians, would you date a bisexual girl?

For some in the wider lesbian community, the word "bi" is synonymous with poison.
They are seen as lukewarm and simply fringe players who won't commit.
Others aren't quiet so militant.

Having spent the majority of my sexually active life probably being labelled "bi" - I have dated lesbians, I have had a wonderful long-term relationship with another woman and my innate bi-ness was never a problem.

 

Some of the comments here are pretty distressing. I just feel like I should ask a few questions to a few of the earlier posters and others who hold their beliefs about bisexual women.

What does it matter if your ex ends up with a guy after you? As long as she's not involved with you at the time, then it's really none of your business who she's having sex with, and even if it somehow was, why does it matter if she's with a guy as opposed to another woman? Does the fact that she was your girlfriend at one time mean she has to swear off of men forever?

If your girlfriend is attracted to guys, why would that make you any more jealous than if she was attracted to other women? It shouldn't matter. That's like being bothered by your girlfriend liking women with different hair colors than what you have. She's attracted to other people. So what? Does she have to suddenly turn off that part of her brain that finds other people attractive and only have eyes for you? That's a bit unreasonable, don't you think?

And then there's this comment.

If a woman is attracted to guys as well as girls, that doesn't necessarily mean that she's more attracted to men than women, and even if she was, that she's incapable of being faithful to a woman.

Also, why do so many lesbians seem to think that bisexual women don't have any self control when it comes to our attraction to men, like this person seems to think?

I can only speak for myself, but I'm sure I'm also speaking for most bisexual women when I say that I'm not some sort of cock addict who can't live without having sexual intercourse with men on a regular basis. Yeah, I'd prefer fucking a guy every once in a while, but I can certainly live without sex with men if I have to, and without any complaints either.

If you don't like the idea of dating a bisexual, that's fine. I understand not wanting to feel like you're competing with both genders for that person's attention. That's a reasonable thought process, and I don't begrudge you for it. Just don't lump us all into one group because of a few bad experiences you've had with some of us.

 

i have yet to date or mess with 1 bisexual that didn't somehow piss me off about some situation with a guy. Not in the past tense or after as I can care less, but while I was exploring things with her.

That's just the reality and until bigirls act correct when I'm seeing them where they show me respect and don't get me into some mess involving a dude then other bigirls can talk all the shyt they want about not needing a dick and how they are diff, but I won't believe it.

Dating bigirls is way off my list of things i want to deal with. Hooking up cuz we might be attracted to each other might be one thing, but if a girl wants to be with me as in date and possibly be my gf she better be ok with being a lesbian as far as I'm concerned for as long as we are together as I don't even want to hear shyt about something that is not happening while she is with me. No i prefer to do a guy every now and then, but if I have to nonsense. I expect my gf to preffer fucking me every night even if she got a chance to have a 3way with Brangelina cuz I wouldn't stray on my gf for a mountain of pure gold if I really loved her.

However if I find not her roommate is her bf playing along, she wants dick on the side or a 3way, has a jealous bf already ect..ect nonsense that always seems to happen only when i mess with bigirls well it's sooo beyond over & just adds to why I hate it when i like a girl and find out she is bi. If it isn't that then it's the whole family doesn't know coming out drama I'm way over being a girls 1st serious girl & going tur all that coming out shyt I did 20 yrs ago like hell to the no.

All my serious gfs have been lesbians and I'm guessing it'll always be that way cuz I'm not down with any trifling nonsense.

I don't discriminate dating bigirls cuz I'll give any girl I'm into a try, but I have yet to mess with one that didn't make me regret it.

There just are too many bigirls out there that have noclue how to commit to a woman and be a decent gf & they just fuck over lesbians inbetween their serious relationships to guys way more often then they stick with a chick & have a relationship where they were faithful & 100% as committed to making it work as her gf.

Sure lesbian can cheat or pull I want a 3some ect..ect, but I have yet once to experience that with the lesbians i dated while without fail it has happened anytime I got with a bigirl. i find out i less then a week she has a husband she didn't tell me about or something crazy wack like that.

Don't even get me started on babydaddy drama where bigirls say they are just there for the kids...ect..ect.

Yeah you know lesbians don't really want to put up with any of that & with good reason.

 

Maybe you're just dating idiots.

Your post is a little hard to read, but the gist of it that I'm getting is that you're dating selfish idiots who happen to be bisexual. Maybe you should consider judging bisexuals by the ones of us who are mature and act like adults as opposed to the morons among us. I honestly don't know where some lesbians find these bisexual women who act like this. Pretty much every bisexual woman I know is mature and capable of holding down a serious relationship for an extended period of time, and several of the ones I know are in relationships with other women.

And like I said in my previous post, just because bisexual women find men attractive and enjoy sex with them doesn't mean we can't do without that if we had to.

 

No... I would not date a bisexual girl because I'd feel that they'd just go back to being with guys at some point, or at least prefer to be with a guy than being with a girl and not be able to commit to me as much as I would with the girl I would love. Besides, guys constantly flirt with girls, especially if they are bisexual (since guys likes the thoughts of having a threesome and god knows what.... =/ )

If they flirt with her, she would probably like it, while on the other hand, the lesbians would just reject them right on the spot... That's what I'd do... I wouldn't let anyone flirt with me if I was seeing someone (this includes girls too, since I'm an extremely committed and loyal person)... I'd worry if she would ever fall for this or that guy, since she's into both genders. I can't deal with that, so I'd rather be single than be with a bisexual girl...

Sorry if this may sound harsh girls, I tried to put it as gently and nicest way as possible to not hurt or "discriminate" anyone's feelings - but that's just how I feel. Don't take it in an offensive way I mean nothing bad / not trying to offend anyone.

 

Maybe I do attract the wrong type of bigirl & ending things with my recent bi-girl/lover who always felt the need to get me into some mess involving other guys she was messing with just has driven my desire for finding a lesbian to date/gf material as a policy seem that much more appealing of a game plan for me.

Yeah I told her 3some w/dudes was not my thing & that I didn't want to be even bothered by having to deal with the guys she was getting with, but no she couldn't respect me enough to keep her guy friends off me or trying something w/us & I always had to deal with this guy or that being around when she was inviting me over. It was gross to the point even if I made her shower & kicked him out finally after hours of having to deal w/some scumbag jerk I was just too turn off to think of sexing her yet alone date her as she just made it impossible for me to build up any level of anything when all my efforts to send time with her was wasting fighting over the unwanted 3rd wheel I didn't want around. Maybe we did have a few quickies & hot time just her & I over the years we were messing around, but there is a reason I never tried having a relationship w/ tha kinda bigirl & she proved me right when finally I gave in thinkng now things could be different cuz she swears she cared about me & even called me her girl...Nan she considers it a breakup now that I ended things, but in my book we were never together cuz even if I was open to having a casual open thing w/her she never respected my boundaries enough to make it work w/me. Infact it just re enforced all the other bad experiences i had with open relationships and bigirls in general.

Now this doesn't mean great gf type bi girls don't exist, but I am just not meeting them & therefor all the past meaningful relationships I have had in my life have always been with the gold star fem girls I adore. I'm attracted to many bi women & there is a lack off single goldstar lesbians for me to date, but I just can't deal with some biwomen's bfs or others wanting my ass or any of that nonsense were they can't commit to a female. Sorry that's always going to be a turn off 4 me that unfortunately I've dealt with too many times with biwomen.

i'ld marry a biwoman who was a great gf to me if a relationship with one ever leads there (I don't care the past is the past), but I really think my odds of that happening for me like i want 1day in my future is more likely to come true with another lesbian.

I give biwomen chance after a chance to change my outlook of lesbian heartbreak & nightmares of getting raped by some she is with out of my mind, but time & time again im pushed to my limit where I'm upset I even bothered. Maybe 1 day it will be diff, but i'm talking from a long ass history of dating women when I say the biwomen I dated just have disappointed me in ways dating lesbians haven't & I have found dating lesbians to be better for me.

 

I'm sorry to hear that so many relationships with bisexual women have ended up like that for you. I understand where you're coming from, and I understand your reasoning behind not wanting to date bisexual women. Maybe someday, you'll find a bisexual woman who's capable of being monogamous and faithful. We're out there, and we aren't as rare as you'd think. It's just that most of us seem to be taken already.

 

As a bisexual woman I can say I've never and would never do that...

Sent from my HTC One using Tapatalk 2

 

seems some people missed the point of the OP's original question. The operative word here is "Date" she did not ask if you would enter a relationship; that definitely is a different thing. Going out with a friend or friends socially is dating, so yes why wouldn't you? I'm bi, there are only 3 men in my life I care for, my fiance, my dad and brother. What disgusts me is the argument that some bi women can't live with a dick in their life? Say what? I'm 27 and as far as men go I am still a virgin. But if a lesbian friend needs my company, especially if she is feeling lonely, I'll go out with her if I can; but she will know it is not a precursor for a relationship.

 

To the posters who answer from a bisexual point of view:

As this is the lesbian community - and the original post is clear about whom it addresses - I think there's no need to suggest something's not quite right ... which may come across as provoking defense.

You may want to start a new thread about it in the Bisexual Forum and carry on with the discussion you started here.

No offense ment - just a moderator's note.

:coffee:

 

Well the things when lesbians date they usually do so to have relationships.

Hooking up is another matter as is going out with friends, but obviously why would i want to DATE a girl who is taken unless I was poly & into sharing which I'm just not even with girls who only like girls.

I hookup with girls bi or les all the time when I'm single and in the mood to mingle.

However when I date bigirls it has always bite me in the ass for trying to have a relationship with them. Still i would date bi a girl & give her a try hoping she would be different then the bigirls i have dated in the past.

I understand there are good ones out there that would date a girl and be as good to me as any other lesbian girlfriend I have had or better who knows. I just have not found her. i still feel more comfortable when I'm attracted to a lesbian girl as i know the whole guy thing will not be an issue that comes up between us.

 

Daeva, you have both a green rep and a photo comment from me

 

Thanks I'm still new on this forum soo I'm still trying to figure out how everything is set up, but I sent you a friends request and thanks xoxo

 

takes a little time and patience, but stay and it'll be cool. O-o thank you. I better check that Lol

 

I feel like you can't help who you are really attracted to. You can set that principal for yourself but one day you might find a bi girl that you're into and she into you. Why say no to that? You never know. Although it must really suck, like a strike to who you are as a person, when they break it off and end up with a guy right after. I think I would have a hard time with that.

 

I'm know I've slept with bisexual girls before but I'd probably rather another lesbian to sleep with. For me the whole "who's been here before" can really start to bother me.

 

whether it is another girl, or the man I 'may' share my life with (still up in the air on that) I would not sleep with anyone who has had a history of a lot of bed partners. I just couldn't trust them

 

I've slept with over 20 girls and still hold the hand of the one dearest to me, my first, my only love.
For her, that's big time trust right there.
I guess I used to sort of have a little crush on girls I'd sleep with but nowdays I can move straight past that.

 

I haven't shared my bed with all my past lovers soo would that disqualify me as only a handful I took home with me. However as for sexual partners yeah I've had more then my fair share (or that of a smal armys), but I'm not unfaithful when I commit I commit & I'm painfully honest about my past. Tested and retested very often as well. I see myself as an ethical slut, but hey it does intimate a few girls that look at my past & just dismiss me for sake of lifestyle as a player. To be that just means I've kissed alot of frogs on my search for my princess maybe i enjoyed it, but is it really my fault that instead of finding the 1 i've meet alot of other women on the way. I wanted to marry my 1st love, but unfortunately it didn't work out that way for me.

 

I don't have a problem with it. I don't have a fear that they will leave me for a man because they could leave me for another woman just the same. They are still leaving you for someone else regardless of the other persons gender. I won't feel inadequate or insecure. I'll move on. So will they. Everyone's happier eventually