Partner Swapping Arrangements

Start by attending events open to the public, which generally will not be explicitly sexual. Go to a HAI event, or take a tantra class, or go to a polyamory event, and get to know the people there. Get invited to their parties.

As for screening people out, that more or less happens automatically. If you're really creepy, you're not going to get invited to parties. But also, it's really, really important to be aware of your own boundaries, and to be able to speak those boundaries and say "no" to unwanted contact. Your best defense against undesirable people is the word "no." And generally, that's all you need. Also, you can ask other people for support if you feel you are not being respected.

 

I seem to have come up against prejudice toward single men coming from swinging couples that mimicked gender roles in traditional monogamous/heterosexual dating. Which...makes sense, since I`m kryptonite to all marriage. j/k

That is why I hope to meet independent/single polys.

 

I can only tell you what he said. It's anybody's guess how serious he is, but he really does enjoy sharing his wife in very intimate ways. I don't know how far he might take it, under the right circumstances.

I know exactly what you mean. I think it works like this for most, if not all, sexually intimate groups - sometimes on multiple levels. If you handle a basic situation well, and don't make anyone uncomfortable, you get invited to something where you will have the opportunity to do more. The regulars know what to look for.

Well, I was going to try and keep this thread a step above the level of graphic position reports, but what the hell...

We do something different every time we get together, but the women always want some flirting and drinking time to get us the mood. It always takes us longer than the men. We've been known to start out in restaurants with long tablecloths and do some exploring under the table while we flirt and talk dirty, but this last time, Chris and Amy came to my house, which is somewhat unusual. I answered the door topless, being careful to keep my body behind the door, in case somebody was passing by on the street. We exchanged French kisses. Amy took off her top (she wasn't wearing a bra) while I made drinks, and we sat around drinking in the living room for at least a half hour before moving into the bedroom to get naked.

Right away, I gave Amy a gentle finger fuck while I sucked her closest nipple. Then we did a little 69. Chris was ready to explode by now, so I sucked his dick. My bf rode Amy hard, in the missionary position, while they kissed passionately on the other half of the bed. Last time, we started both guys off by getting on top and riding them like animals. That worked well also.

After bathroom breaks and snuggling, us girls were starving to death (good sex makes me hungry), so we ordered a pizza. We talked about someone answering the door naked, but decided not to risk it this time (done it a few times before). They have a lot of female delivery people now.

We drank the whole time we were waiting on the pizza, knowing that alcohol wouldn't have much effect after we ate a meal, so we were pretty wasted by the time the food came - especially us girls.

Normally, our food choices are a lot more healthy.

Amy and I wore the guys' shirts at the table, and nothing else. We sat on clean towels.

After dinner, I got out one of my bf's porn magazines for Amy and I to flip through and make all kinds of funny and lewd sexual comments about the models. Then we all listed the combinations of celebrities we would like to see fuck each other, for real (not "movie sex").

Back in the bedroom, we decided that Amy was going to do it with both guys, after a ton of foreplay. She gave a bj to my bf while her hubby entered her pussy from behind. They had done the opposite arrangement last time. I got in on all the foreplay, and then used my hands anywhere I could to assist the other three, and then on myself at the end. Sometimes Chris likes a woman's finger up his ass just before he comes, and he wanted it this time.

These guys aren't as young as they used to be, so the next round would have to wait until morning. We paired off (me & Chris together, etc.) and slept in separate rooms. I think everybody slept naked.

I'm more of a morning person than Amy, so I often take the first morning round. This time I asked them to take me one at a time, from behind, and not tell me who was going first. I can always figure it out, from the way it feels and their style of doing things. Sometimes I can guess just from the breathing patterns.

We didn't do anything else until we had taken time for breakfast (with alcohol), showers, and makeup. My shower is plenty big enough for sex, but we didn't do that this time.

I insisted on more kissing and snuggling time with Amy next, while the guys watched. Then we took turns using the same dildo on each other vaginally, which we had talked about for last time, but there hadn't been enough time to get to it.

For the last round of orgasms, I had the idea that we start out with our regular partners, then switch before anyone came (we've also used this to start a weekend). I ended up on top of Chris, but I don't remember what position Amy did. I didn't pay attention.

There was no anal sex this time because we did a little bit last time.

After our guests were dressed, we agreed that next time, it would be time once again to have two separate couples' weekends. And maybe before that, Amy and I might be able to pick an afternoon to get together, one-on-one, just the two of us. That will probably be all we have time for before Christmas. Anything we didn't get to as a group will have to wait until early next year.

Checking the clock once we were alone again, I told my bf that he barely had time to suck my nipple and give me a finger fuck before it was time for the football game. We didn't get dressed at all that day.

 

Karen J your graphic details were great to read.

 

No two weekends are the same. This is from a couple of weeks ago. In the post, my husband is Pat, and the other couple is Mary and Bob. Mary and Bob are boaters and were able to work a deal with some friends in Tampa to borrow their boat for a 3-day weekend. They said once you get away from shore anything goes! We met up for breakfast Saturday morning, and went to the docks. I’d worn a bikini with a light coverup. The morning air was cool, so I went below deck and wrapped in a towel.

I went up on deck as we cruised away from shore. The wind was still cool, so I cuddled up with Pat. I was feeling really warm, secure, and relaxed. I think Pat was feeling much the same, and I could feel him getting firm. We stayed like that for a while, and then Pat tugged at my towel. Remember how I’d been cold and went below and wrapped in a towel? I’d also slipped out of my swimsuit and was completely nude! I figured it was an adult weekend, so why not? I could tell this was going somewhere. We started nuzzling on the deck when I felt a little touch on my shoulder. Bob had stepped away from the wheel and asked if he could cut in. Initially I was a bit pissed, and Pat looked like he wanted to slug him, but Bob said, “Well, it is a couples weekend isn’t it”? Pat gave an uncomfortable giggle and took over the wheel. Bob led me to the front deck, spread my towel, and laid me on my back. I felt like a bartered woman. I’ve said before that it excites me to be treated like a piece of man property.

Bob lowered himself onto me, and when I looked up I could see Pat standing at the controls staring down with approval. I didn’t know it at the time, but Mary had come out and was on her knees slowly blowing Pat. This trip was off to a good start! Bob licked me from head to toe before focusing on my pussy. I felt my first orgasm and really wanted him to take me. He moved on top, spread my legs. I don’t know, the sun, the relaxation, feeling like a used woman, Pat looking down at me,…,it was too much. I don’t know how many times I came. What better start to a vacation?

Meanwhile, the boat had stopped. Bob and I went to where Pat had been. He had Mary on her hands and knees and was giving it to her doggie-style. It wasn’t long before he finished. Bob and I applauded and laughed. We’d all been serviced, so maybe Bob’s interruption wasn’t so bad after all! Pat and Bob pulled on their swimsuits while Mary and I slithered downstairs. Mary backed me onto a bench and said, “I’ve got an idea how to clean-up,” and buried her face in my bare snatch. A couple of orgasms later she finished, so I returned the favor. It was so nasty licking my husband out of another girl’s pussy! We cleaned up for real after that, and I slinked back upstairs naked. Why not? By now we were a good distance from shore and the sun felt great! We had a cooler, ice, a blender, sun, friends, what more could we want?

We talked, laughed, drank, and sunbathed. I was thoroughly enjoying myself. Pat and Bob suggested heading in for lunch after which, we got back to the boat. Before long we were anchored offshore and were locked in a four-way make-out. Bob and I paired off as did Pat and Mary. Afterward, we had some drinks, cruised a bit, and headed back to the car. We were pretty tired and headed to a casual place for a quick dinner. When we got back to our room, Pat wanted to talk about Bob cutting in and how sexy he thought I’d looked spread on the deck. One of the things I like most about our outings is the evening after. Pat always wants to hear in great detail about what I’d been put through. This always results in good sex to send us to sleep.

Sunday morning we planned much the same. I’d chosen a lime green thong-back bikini. It was nothing I’d wear at home, but for an adult weekend, I figured why not? Mary showed up wearing a white one-piece that really showed off her tan. It was cut to her crack in the back with a full cut bottom. The front was split from the top to well below her belly button. There was a tie at her boobs to keep the front from completely spilling open. The crotch was pretty skimpy, and more than made up for the coverage in back.

Pat mentioned Bob had never had anal. I don’t usually do anal with others, and with somebody who didn’t know what they’re doing? Pat suggested I discuss it with Mary. I approached Mary and she admitted she and Bob had talked about it, but she just wasn’t sure. She assured me she’d be okay if I took his anal virginity. I didn’t agree to anything for a while and was pouty. Bob eventually asked me what was wrong and I reluctantly told him I was nervous, that I don’t normally do anal with others, and was afraid how it might go with him lacking experience. He didn’t push it, but said he and Mary were curious, and while he thought it would be hot to do me. He also thought I could show him how to do it. Okay, who can resist being praised as a wise teacher?

I went below deck and flushed as best I could. The bathrooms on those boats are pretty small, and with the bumpy ride it wasn’t easy to prepare. I came out wrapped in a towel, put on my best cheery face, and asked Bob to join me below. I might not have been completely into it, but no reason to make it miserable for Bob’s first time.

He was doing a nice job of kissing and nibbling, and I was starting to feel aroused. He gently pulled my towel away leaving me completely nude. He focused on my breasts and rubbed me gently. I was getting weak in the knees and knelt in front of him. I took him in my mouth while he caressed my rear. I finally turned around so my butt was facing him. Time to get out of arousal mode and become the teacher.

I told Bob to lick my rear. He was reluctant, but I assured him it was clean. I’d also doused myself with a hooker’s dose of perfume. I asked him to grab the lube and start to work it in my butt – just one finger. He was a bit forceful and I had to slow him. In a few minutes I asked him to try a second. With each finger I asked him to add more lube. He worked me for quite a while with his fingers when I figured it was time for the main event. I asked him to coat himself and my rear with a liberal amount of lube and then position himself at my opening. I noticed Mary was peering in. I think she doubted I’d really do it.

Bob eased into me. It took a few minutes, but he got himself in slightly and I asked him to stop. Once I was comfortable I gave him the approval to move gently. Looking up I noticed Pat had entered Mary’s pussy from the rear. They were focused on us and enjoying themselves at the same time. I was enjoying the sensation, but wasn’t approaching climax. Bob on the other hand was getting more deliberate and I could tell he was approaching his climax. Looking out, Mary and Pat were contorted in the throes of impending orgasm. I felt Bob coming in me and I reached back to caress him. When I finally looked up, Mary and Pat were enjoying their post-orgasmic glow. Hey, what about me?

I started toward the bathroom but had a thought. I just jumped naked off the back of the boat! It was an instant bath, and the warm water felt great! Before long I was joined by three other naked bodies. Good thing the boat was anchored!

Eventually we crawled back on board. Bob wouldn’t leave me alone, and I think Pat was getting a little jealous. Nothing serious, he just wanted a piece of me. We were all a bit spent, so we had some drinks and eventually Bob suggested we head in for lunch. I slipped on my thong-back bikini and we headed in. I was feeling bold, so I just bounded into the restaurant in my thong, no coverup. Mary did the same. I don’t know, I was just feeling sexy!

In the restaurant, I enjoyed the guys staring at me. By the time we were back on the boat, Pat and I were ready to rape each other! I told Mary I really needed some time with Pat, and I think she let Bob know not to interfere this time. Once away from shore, Pat joined me on the front deck and caressed me. I was still a bit miffed about the anal, but I couldn’t stay angry. Pat knew he’d pushed some buttons and was working hard to appease me. I wanted him bad, but I might as well enjoy tormenting him for a few minutes!

Eventually Pat took me on the front deck. The unfulfilled excitement of the morning, the stares at the restaurant, the vision of Pat and Mary enjoying their afterglow, the sun, the sea,…,it wasn’t long before I was enjoying my first orgasm. I was squirming in bliss under Pat and he was loving it. He eventually came, and I was glowing from a good screw. We laid there a while before stirring. It was just nice being naked in the sunny outdoors. When we got back to Pat and Mary, she was enjoying a good dose of lovin’ herself. We gave them a little privacy while they finished. The rest of the afternoon was spent with the guys trying to fish off the back of the boat and Mary and I were talking. We talked about a lot of things, but a lot about anal. Mary couldn’t believe I’d done it. She was curious and asked a lot of questions.

We got back to the dock early and stopped at a casual place for dinner. That night Pat had to have me again. He whispered about how slutty I’d looked with Bob. That got me really hot, but that’s the way most our outings are. Next door in the hotel we could tell there was some action. We hoped Bob and Mary were having a good time as well.

The next morning we arose early to pack and get ready for our flight home. We knocked on Mary and Bob’s door. I was wearing a white bodysuit with a deep neck and cut high on the thighs. Mary and Bob were scurrying about nude. Whatever. I just wanted to thank them properly for showing us a good time! Mary hugged me as did Bob. We sat down, and Mary confided that she’d taken Bob anally the night before. She admitted it was awkward, but she’d allowed him to enter and fought through the discomfort long enough for him to come. I assured her it would get easier every time. I thought things might develop between Mary and me again, but Pat and Bob intervened. They were both erect and informed us it was our “womanly duty” to take care of things. I gave Pat a good natured look that would kill before swallowing Bob completely. Okay, Mary about died when she saw that. One more thing to teach her! Anyhow, Pat and Mary paired off while Bob licked me and gave me another good fucking, in the pussy this time. Quick showers, a bite to eat, and we were on our way to the airport heading home.

 

Thanks, but I think you’d find your life isn’t much different from ours. Yes, my husband and I spend unconventional weekends with other couples. Otherwise, our lives are dull-to-average. We both work hard, enjoy time with our daughter, and many evenings are spent falling asleep on the couch with the TV on. Weekends are catch-up times for work with occasional casual gatherings with family or friends for dinner or conversation. Weekdays are busy getting ready for work, dropping off our daughter at day care, and reversing the order to go home. Right now I’m traveling on business and get home late Thursday night. All I can think about is seeing my husband at the airport carrying our sleepy daughter. I can’t wait to take her and have her wrap her little arms around my neck. I want to fall asleep next to my husband in our own bed. :love:

I adore my husband and am convinced he feels the same about me. Our weekends with couples are something we do together. I’d be crushed if my husband picked up a random woman without my knowledge. We choose our extramarital partners TOGETHER, and each of us has veto power to rule out any couple, at any time, for any reason. It may not be a conventional marriage, but it works for us. Isn’t that what’s important?

 

I was thinking the same thing.

I am a firm believer that monogamy does not come naturally to the majority of men, so that leaves their wives and long-term girlfriends with three options. We can DEMAND monogamy and hope for the best. Or we can agree to an open relationship and hope that the guy handles his part of it well. Or we can actively participate in creating and maintaining relationships with one or more couples. I like the third option because I have input into everything and full knowledge of everything that is going on. It's a very open and honest way of handling things. And it's fun for me.

:cheers2: I've said it before, but I think it's worth saying again: A great marriage (or any other long-term relationship) should be whatever the two people involved in it agree that it needs to be, to meet their needs and make them happy. Nobody else should get a vote, because it doesn't directly affect them.

 

The tone of that sounds bitter. How can you ever be certain of the real reason for any couples divorce. Boredom or trying to be too controlling of a partner quite possibly could be more likley factors.

I seriously do not see it the way you see it. Guys are horniest at their teens, after that libido is a downward slope. Growing up with guys around the same age, get past 30 then all of a sudden too many are bi, or dump the wife and are out and proud making fools of themselves. Too many that stay married look like Peter Griffin and dont really give a fuck. Yes there are some that play around, and if they are its with another member of the sisterhood that ok with getting with a married guy, takes two to tango. But overall, the guys just arent as fussed about sex as they were when they were teens

Whereas with the girls, kids are grown up, all of a sudden its, lets fuck around.

Post 30 the girls are more likely to cheat

 

The surveys I've read show that, in general, women are almost as likely to cheat on their spouses as men. Maybe if more people were honest about what they think, what they want, and how they really feel, the divorce rate would be lower. Maybe too many people are trying to live a lie.

 

Whenever I hear stuff like this, cheating sounds like a supernatural power. Like, yo, I`m a super bad bitch, and I can clap with only one hand.

 

I can only speak for myself, but I wish things were as open as you suggest. Obviously my husband knows; he’s part of the action. However, our outings are something we both work to keep discrete. If I take a day off work, co-workers always ask what fun thing we did for the weekend. I usually respond with something like, “We went to Tampa to visit some friends.” Then there’s the inevitable follow-up, “Well, what did you do?” I’ll say we went boating and went out to dinner. Then there’s an awkward pause because they were expecting a more in-depth response. I’m sure my tone and body language suggest I’m not telling the whole story. If someone from my work found out it would be professional/career suicide. That’s why I don’t show my face in any of my pictures and protect a lot of personal details (but it’s edgy to flirt!:reddevil. Worse is with our parents. They always want to know who our friends are and how we know them. A stock answer is “I met them when I traveled” (I used to do A LOT of business travel). Then my dad wants to know if they work for the same company. I think you get the idea. The questions aren’t malicious; they’re just the normal part of conversation that anybody would ask when you return from a weekend getaway. If Pat and I go away for a weekend just the two of us, I always share a lot more. It hurts me to play this game with my dad. He’s been my biggest supporter through some really bad times. Outside of the details of our weekend getaways, I can’t think of anything I wouldn’t tell him. I’m sure he’d still love me. My dad, his wife, and my mom (when she was alive) are very open-minded and non-judgmental. My dad’s heard things from me and about me that no parent should hear. I just couldn’t bear another quiet, tearful evening with him.

Sorry, I guess I got too emotional. I absolutely LOVE our weekend flings. That’s some of the most fun, carefree, insane time I’ve ever enjoyed. arty: The part about being open and honest depends on the audience you’re talking about.

 

My husband and I had a relationship with another couple earlier this year, it ended quite badly and we've just now got to the point where we're ready to look for another oppurtunity with another couple shit happens, and though there's nothing missing from our relationship, we both feel like it would enhance our relationship if we had another couple to be with.

I also like what you said Karen about monogamy not coming easily to men... although it's on my part that I have difficulty with monogamy, I've struggled with that concept since I was about 14 and my husband was the one who loved the idea of two girls at one time, but other than that just him and his wife. I think it just depends on the people

 

Are you sure there are other speices of animals who are Monogamus in the animal kingdom.

I think it's how you want to be with said partner, yes as humans we all flirt and look. Thats the animal instinct to keep hunting.

And of course we all like still hearing that we are sexy and still attractive to people from the opposite sex, it gives the spirit a boost.

Now it's whether you act upon those feeling or not. Sure some ppl can have these types of arrangements and it does work, but more times then not you will hear they always don't end well.

I know full well when my ol'man is inthe city at work and he is surrounded by all those buisness woman with the heels and all that. I'd have to be pretty dumb to not think that he doesn't check them out lol. And I may do the same.

But when it comes to the end of the day we go home to each other. It can work but I think you both have to want it.

Just my 2 cents.

And hey to those that make it work, my hats off to ya. I couldn't do it.

 

You know very few species are truly monogamous in the animal kingdom. Those that we are closely related to have some interesting traits. Gibbons if I recall correctly are monogamous (not serial monogamy) and have very small testis/penis as there is no need for such large and capable equipment. They also live in isolation or small groups. Generally, species that are more promiscuous have larger testis and a larger penis and the social groups are much larger.

To boot, I doubt many of us here are truly monogamous (one partner for the duration of your life). Most of us practice serial monogamy. This is having one partner at a time, but multiple partners over the course of life.

What is the difference between serial monogamy and having a steady relationship with the option to invite someone else into the bedroom in the grand scheme of things?

 

It's not really that mind blowing, its just that a lot of people are too close-minded to try or consider an open relationship, because of 'values' or morals or whatever...

** Sent from my phone using Tapatalk :]

 

That is true multiple partners over our lifetime.

I guess just my point of view, is that when inviting somebody else into the martial bed I think you can lose some of that close intimacy.

 

Whenever anyone has any reservations about this sort of thing, I think they should stay away from it.

 

Exactly, which is why I can dream about it lol but I know I would never act upon it.

 

I can relate- I have some qualms about it in practice, but I am open to the idea of it. I think Karen_J has it right about starting off:
-Having someone watch us first.
-A helping hand from the woman
-Going further with more contact and such
-Once comfortable: allowing full contact and enjoyment within some sort of mutually acceptable framework.

Should the situation ever arise, I really intend to take things slowly. It would be nice to experience this, while being fair to my relationship and to the other couple/person of course.

 

Yay! This thread has reopened, is alive and well, and mean-spirited posts were removed by a RESPONSIBLE moderator (one with a soul).