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Wife regets losing virginity so young


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#1 Luvsitall

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Posted September 14 2011 - 07:24 PM

Hey all. Im hoping for some answers or advice. My partner told me she lost her virginity at 14 to a 28 year old guy. When she first told me i reacted badly and she told me she was drunk and went home with him and he raped her. She said she just went to his house to kiss him even though they had been kissing at the place they were. She eventually said it was consensual but it hurt her and asked him to stop. He didnt so she said she started hitting him but he still didnt stop. Time has passed and i have learnt to deal with it. I have spoken to her step dad about it and he said it was more he broke her heart. I asked her again about it and the story has changed. She new what was going to happen and yes it hurt and she wanted him to stop. I asked did u make it clear u didnt like it and she said i think so. I asked what his response was and she said he ignored her until he had cum. Im not fully sure he understood how much she didnt enjoy it. He was not gentle at all knoeing it was her first time and he was quite large. As soon as he finished he left and rang his mates to brag. I feel she has Changed the story a bit more because she hated it and felt humiliated. I have said to her she needs to forgive herslef as she has done nothing wrong. She refuses to stop hating herself for it and i feel our sex life will not improve until she does. I am hoping someone can help me understand this more and shed some light as she hates to talk about it

#2 MikeE

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Posted September 15 2011 - 12:05 AM

Some blunt advice from someone whose been in a similar situation.

You can't fix it. You don't have the skills or capabilities.
There are professionals who have the skills and capabilities.
If your wife doesn't want to see them, she won't.
If it isn't fixed, you'll have to learn how to love and live with the woman she is rather than the woman she could/should have been.

(note "if it isn't fixed", not "if she isn't fixed". She isn't broken.)

#3 GLENGLEN

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Posted September 15 2011 - 12:10 AM

Here We Go Again.....Posted Image.....:sleeping:



Cheers Glen.

#4 TheGhost

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Posted September 15 2011 - 01:33 AM

I have spoken to her step dad about it [....] I asked her again about it [....] I asked did u make it clear [....] I asked what his response was [....]


You're prying. If you pry enough you'll eventually break something.

She doesn't have to justify her actions.
We're all foreigners .... almost everywhere.

#5 barefootlocks

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Posted September 15 2011 - 05:45 AM

Maybe the reason she feels so ashamed is by your reaction? Just a thought.

#6 I'minmyunderwear

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Posted September 15 2011 - 06:11 AM

kids make mistakes. it's part of growing up. what's the point in being upset about it?

#7 TheMistress

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Posted September 15 2011 - 06:23 AM

she should see a professional. someone neutral who can help her
but if she doesnt want to go, well. you cant help the unwilling
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

#8 RooRshack

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Posted September 15 2011 - 09:39 AM

Oh, a teenage girl acting like a teenage girl, and then becoming a woman, and spinning a web of lies and bullshit to make herself feel better, like a woman can be expected to.

In the OP's mind, too, no less.

Here We Go Again.....Posted Image.....:sleeping:



Cheers Glen.


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#9 friendlyfred

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Posted July 23 2012 - 10:27 AM

good advice mistress After 20 years mariage wife admitted being molested as a young girl and sex was never the same after that.

#10 drumminmama

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Posted July 24 2012 - 03:40 PM

Reread MikeE's post. And again...and again....
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#11 endnow

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Posted July 24 2012 - 06:31 PM

Just a side question thats a bit relevant:
Does anyone here think any good can come out of knowing details of your partners sexual history? I mean so many bad things can happen from knowing and I can't think of a single good thing. The OP is obviously hung up on something that happened years ago while my gfs sexual history still revolves around my head most days (which is a bad thing). Worst of all it is something people are likely to lie about, whats his partner going to say 'he fucked the shit out of me and I loved it' or 'I came so hard'? I suppose it boils down to why you would want to know and why you wouldn't be content to leave the past in the past

#12 usedtobehoney

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Posted July 24 2012 - 06:42 PM

Oh, a teenage girl acting like a teenage girl, and then becoming a woman, and spinning a web of lies and bullshit to make herself feel better, like a woman can be expected to.

In the OP's mind, too, no less.


If it was a traumatic event stories become confusing due to the way the mind works. Are you a woman-hater? If this was in no way related to sex and in no way related to a female, would you say the same thing?

Stories change, memories fade, old memories resurface. Good job at judging a huge group of people based on one story of someone you've never met, which could possibly even be a troll...
before and after

#13 I'minmyunderwear

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Posted July 25 2012 - 04:21 PM

Just a side question thats a bit relevant:
Does anyone here think any good can come out of knowing details of your partners sexual history?


not much, and probably not too many details, but some basic details are good, such as did she catch herpes and who was it that knocked her up.