I am over being stressed - Looking for mentor

I am so over being stressed. I finally moved out to the beach (one of my goals) and the same day, I got promoted at work. So for the last 5.5 weeks instead of being mellow. I am stressed. The thing is I have gotten to a point, where I am done. I had my first house at 22, married at 24, baby 1 at 27, baby 2 at 31. I have always been the primary bread-winner but I am just tired of being stressed and caring what other people think and worrying about everything. I worry about my age, my looks, my relationship, how my kids are developing.

I do this from time to time. I get so sick of it, I say I am done, and then I move back to it. It's like I am an addict to being unhappy.

I just want to be happy. I just want to let snide/ teasing comments, roll off me, even if they are from my loved ones. I don't want to be co-dependent, jealous, suspicious, insecure. I just want to relax.

I am wondering if any of you have felt this way before and how did you break the cycle? I think I need a mentor, like in AA, to break me from the cycle and check in with me to make sure that I am staying positive. Any takers? LOL.

I basically want to embrace that whole hippie vibe of be and let be. eace:

 

Shit man I'm game. Lesson one is Fuck It. When you start to feel overwhelmed by your situation and the need to control outcomes just say to your self "Fuck it". It is like a large gesture of letting go of whatever in your ego is trying to hold on to control that is stressing you out.

If you want to PM me and I'll gladly help.

Stay Brown,
Rev J

 

Thanks Rev J. I appreciate you reaching out. That is always nice. That was my first thought this am. I was like I am just going to say "fuck it and forget it." I just need someone to remind me to stay positive. :daisy: It has been 7.5 hours since I made the decision to stay positive. LOL. eace:

 

Thanks man. Lesson 2. This is a link to a blog I wrote. It is a little bit of my personal Philosophy:

http://www.hipforums.com/modules/Journal/viewentry.php?journalid=3435

There are a couple of alternate therapies that I'd like to share. The first is a drink that I swear by. It is called "Marley's Mellow Mood". It is an Iced Tea with Valerian Root Extract, Lemon Balm Extract, Chamomile Flower Extract, Hops Extract, Passion Flower Extract, and Melatonin. My fiancee has Bipolar Disorder and get's anxiety attacks and this usually calms her down. I have a long history of Insomnia and one bottle of this usually puts me to sleep in about an hour.

The other thing I've discovered recently is Binaural Entrainment. It is essentially an audio track with 2 slightly different frequencies playing in each ear. These frequencies alternately enhance each other and cancel each other out to create a third frequency that matches brainwaves in different states of consciousness. You can find these tracks on youtube. It takes a little trial and error to find the right ones but I have found them to be immensely beneficial. Just type Binaural Beats in the Youtube Search Box.

Stay Brown,
Rev J

 

Awesome! Thanks! I actually just went to the health food store on Sunday and got a trial of something. I am not sure if it worked but I am definitely willing to give it another go. It seemed to but I am not sure if that is just placebo effect. I will also look for the supplements you mentioned.

I have listened to the binaural beats before, iPhone app ... LOL, but I am not sure it made any impact. I lost my iPhone so I will take a listen on YT.

Yesterday was good. Today started well but I am swamped at work, I feel a bit like I am drowning. I am trying to just chill. I might take a quick step out of the office, in hopes that can recenter me and recharge.

What type of guitar do you play? My s.o. has a Les Paul Gibson that he loves. I am just picking up the ukulele.

 

That's a Fender Steve Bailey 6 string Jazz Bass. One of the few that Fender made before discontinuing them. I got lucky.

Try the "Fuck It" therapy and take a couple of deep breaths. Realize the world isn't going to end and jump on that beast.

Stay Brown,
Rev J

 

I found that Transcendental meditation is a tremendous help for stress. You can use the meditation techniques and if you want to add a religious element to it you can, but you don't need to. It is wonderful just by itself. Saved my sanity about 35 years ago and I've used it off and on over the years; still do.

 

The only other things I can think of to add are:
Welcome to the first noble truth. Life is dissatisfaction. Dissatisfaction is a good thing as without it nothing would change.

And here is the clip that my current signature quote comes from:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpEBOavYqHQ"]Tom Waits in The Fisher King - YouTube

This whole speech speaks volumes to me.

Stay Brown,
Rev J

 

Don't get set into one form, adapt it and build your own, and let it grow, be like water. Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless — like water. Now you put water in a cup, it becomes the cup; You put water into a bottle it becomes the bottle; You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend. -Bruce Lee

I can't really say it any better than Bruce Lee, so I won't try.

Clear your mind, keep it cleared. Find your center and stay there. Flow through everything and let everything flow through you without knocking you off balance.

 

Thanks all. I was doing really well and I felt that I was falling off the bandwagon last night and decided to pop in and see what you all might say. Thank you for the encouragement. I need it! :daisy: For example, I work in corporate America. There are some good waves today but I can't be in them. Boo. Plus, I was a little late to work and they are sticklers for being at least 5 mins early, boo to that too. I am no slacker at work, I won't take a lunch, etc. and my stuff gets done, but that does not matter, what matters is that I am 5 mins late. Sigh. Plus, I bought this awesome used board that I have been after for awhile and something seems off on it. I paid a fair amount of money for it, even though I got a good deal. I am like grrrr, because I want to be using that board in the waves we are having.

Yeah, I am being a whiner and it's crap like this, I have to mentally shut off, because in the end, does it really matter? Not really.

I am not sure what this is but I am willing to give it a go.

I have never seen that movie. It looks like one I would like to watch.

Great point. I think sometimes society creates a different utopian view. I am not one that really deals as well with, say dischord.

I'm working at it. Thanks for helping me out ....

 

Sweet! Good on ya'. I have learned to play three songs on my ukulele, so far ... LOL.

 

Cool then here's one for you:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_DKWlrA24k&ob=av2n"]OFFICIAL - Somewhere Over the Rainbow 2011 - Israel "IZ" Kamakawiwo'ole - YouTube

Stay Brown,
Rev J

 

Yeah, I definitely love him and that song. It is on the docket. Have you seen this? Ab so lute ly amazing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snPQ1z5FoqQ"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snPQ1z5FoqQ

The question is do you let everything go? Say someone says something mean to you or something you don't want to hear? I think it would be better for me to just let it slide but the fact is, I get on the defensive more often than not. I wish I could just let it slide. Not care what the other person thinks, even if it is my wonderful significant other, but my need to have harmony and make people happy is ugh, sometimes drowning. I again, know my problem, I am just not entirely sure how to make it a habit to not let it affect me.

I have started and trying to keep a happy thought journal. I think the goal is to write something down every day, no matter how small.

 

Im not a taker but You may get some calm down by realizing Your situation is Normal for Living in America Today.

Im a retired person comming from the same dilemma as you. If your not retired and still rely on Job income, Your reality requires you be where you are. Settle down with the way it is right now . Work for pay is rarely satisfying.

The good thing is , you know whats important for your own self. Realize it takes Time to get Back to the garden , but you certainly will . Have confidence , make your decisions based on what you want in your future. If it is Peace and Love, Stay focused on that even if Your heart is in denial. Use the healing teqniques of Member Reverand JC and others who can help. Keep focused regardless of the demons that tell you otherwise. Walk that Walk , Your path will become clear and you will set yourself Free.

 

Thanks Vettester. I hit my limit last night, and ended up "breaking down", blame it on hormones or whatever, but it bubbles over. I took some time this am and had the house to myself and it was so relaxing. You are so right that

I am trying to not let it get to me because I am bringing it home and it is driving my better half nuts, which in itself I am working to not to over-analyze. Thank you for the encouragement and sound advice. eace:

 

After a blow-up like the other day, I always need some time to recenter myself, but sometimes I think re-centering puts me back into my old habits.

I'm going to work on remembering,

and follow the "Fuck It" mentality. It is very refreshing to let go.

 

go for a weekly Swedish massage

 

You are speaking my language!!! If money wasn't so tight. I definitely would be. I am trying to do more yoga. That always helps.

 

The reason you go back to it, (stress), is that you are comfortable with control, successful to the extent that you are. Part of letting go is relinquishing the temptation to try and control events. It is quite normal in that case to be stressed out about things you truly can't control, but You can produce personal effects that you can share with others, i.e., be relaxed.