How to Behave if you are Abducted by Aliens

Every year thousands of people are abducted by aliens, and their universal complaint is that they didn't know the proper way to behave during the abduction.
This fact prompted The National Institute for Green Goo Acceptance(NIGGA) to release it's guidelines of how you are supposed to behave in the event you are abducted by aliens.

Rule#1; Remain calm and don't panic, if you panic you might frighten the aliens and cause them to hurt or even kill you.

Rule#2; Let the aliens do whatever they want. Their technology is superior to ours in every way, which means resistance is futile. If they want to molest you, let them. You might even enjoy it.

Rule#3; Act as smart as possible. This is to protect the rest of us from being harvested like cattle.

Whether the aliens aim is to fuck you, eat you, or just to communicate with you(all three if you're lucky)just follow these three rules during the alien abduction, and hopefully the aliens will be satisfied and release you with a great story you may or may not want to tell your grand kids.

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to contact your local NIGGA representative.:alien:

 

thank you for the information. i'll really consider using this next time i spot alien aircraft landing in my front yard

 

No problem, though I doubt you'll see them land. They usually sneak up behind their abduction victims and jam a probe in their ass that renders them unconscious,...that's how they get ya.

 

If you paint your face black and blue maybe they will be easier on you. This sounds like a lose lose situation either way if i meet these aliens.

 

I was abducted years ago and to this day when im being pounded in my ass I think back on my first anal probe fondly

 

What ever you do, DON'T get an erection in front of the Aliens....;-0

 

It's important to remember that not all aliens are the same, nor will they have the same intentions. Just like humans, we can not judge by looks alone.

If you were to be abducted there would be little you could do, but unless your are in a very remote area, you probably won't be.

But if you are, they will come, you will be paralyzed due their technology and they will do as they please, all joking aside. But lucky for you they will probably return you alive, it is in their best interest to keep us alive.

 

hahahahhhahahahahahha

 

I think an important rule #4 would be this; try not to walk like you've just been probed.

I mean, I see these people walking around, standing kinda bent, walking like they're trying to hold their wallet between their asscheeks and I can't help but think to myself, "man, try to cover it up. That's just poor taste. YOU know that you've just been abducted and probed, but I don't need to know it."

 

If alien technology is vastly superior to ours, then why do they need probes?

Sent from my SPH-L900 using Tapatalk

 

For sexual gratification obviously

Sent from my Anal Probe 3300

 

Personally, I think the clearest evidence that the alien technology is way superior to our own is the fact that they can't be bothered to drop in and say "Hi" ...

 

just think the secret code and take over their ship's psionic computer.

 

Bring a rape whistle.

 

I met this strange bloke who stepped out of a blue phonebox and asked me what year it was...then probed me with a sonic scewdriver.

....I've never again had an orgasm so intense!

 

Sounds like a human 'doctor' to me!

 

Good advice but the first thing to do is purchase UFO abduction Insurance, so if you’re carried away several parsecs from the earth you can rest assure your family will be well provided for :alien:


Hotwater

 

4) Don't push any buttons, unless you are really really really sure.

 

*dead

 

Did you know how the telephone can inform the failures of socializing while the world nails, nails, and nails the passage of Plato's secularist desires. Halloween,people, is on our door steps.