Nervous About Being Barefoot At All

Discussion in 'Barefoot' started by CapandGown, May 2, 2011.

  1. CapandGown

    CapandGown Member

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    I am incredibly nervous about being barefoot. I'm making this thread first and foremost so that I can get my thoughts and story out there and have someone know, but I'm also making it for some advice. I know there are similar threads about this, but they all have a slightly different story than me. Before I begin, I'm a male.

    So I'll tell you my story, as a child, up until 5th grade or so, I had no problem being barefoot, wearing shorts, and being shirtless. Now I'm 15 and a sophomore in highschool and have a problem with all three of those things. I really don't remember how this change happened, but I do remember a time where I was a little OK with being barefoot and in shorts but not being shirtless, and that only applied at a pool. I remember I went to a pool party and I was slightly nervous about baring my feet, but refused to take off a white undershirt, I went swimming with a shirt on. I remember a little later, 7th grade or so, I went to the waterpark and was very nervous about baring my feet. I was trying to find any way I could to play but still be barefoot. Eventually I sucked it up and quickly pulled off my socks and played, with my shirt still on.

    Recently I went to the beach with my family and figured that the same events would play out that I described above, I figured I'd be nervous and then pull it off quick and get in, no problems after that initial pull off. That wasn't the case, I couldn't bring myself to pull off my socks, shirt, or even put on shorts. I also don't ever wear sandals or show my feet at all.

    When I get home I do take off my gym shoes, but I don't take off my stockings. However, when I'm in my room alone, I lock my door and sometimes will take off my socks. It feels great and I wish I could walk around in the house or even my yard without the nervousness.

    Last month or so I stayed in a hotel room with 3 of my peers from school. They weren't my family or friends, just kids I knew from school. I was laying in the bed at night and thought about it. I gave it a try, I nervously slipped off my socks with my feet and toes, keeping my feet under the covers the whole time. This sexually aroused me. I nervously decided that it would help me if I through my socks across the room so that I'd have to get up and expose my feet to my peers in order to move or cover them back up. It wasn't all that hard to throw the socks, I wasn't very nervous about it. So I tossed them.

    I went back to sleep and woke up in the morning. This was the moment of truth, I would have to walk across my room to get my socks and put them on. My peers were awake and talking casually about whatever. I was surprised that while still waiting under the covers I very nervous. I counseled myself with the fact that these guys didn't know me all that well and probably wouldn't say anything, partly because they wouldn't really care and partly because they, unlike my relatives and friends, don't know that I'm never barefoot and wouldn't think it's out of place.

    So I got up and walked across the room. I decided that it would be out of place to walk across the room and put on socks, thus drawing attention to my barefootedness, so I decided to just carry out my routine for getting ready and wait to put on socks until I got dressed, I wasn't nervous at all at this point.

    Shortly after being barefoot, I began to greatly enjoy it. It was free walking around barefoot, especially without nerves. I ended up waiting as long as possible to put on my socks rather than putting them on as quick as I could. I brushed my teeth, combed my hair, cleaned my glasses (which I normally don't even do, I was just stalling), and did everything else before I took a shower. It was exciting and fun to be barefoot and even more fun being barefoot in front of other people because it was a new experience. Once I took my shower I got dressed with all my clothes but decided that I would wait until it was time to leave to put on my socks, when I put on my shoes.

    I had a great time, but I still can't be barefoot in front of my family or close friends, although when I get a chance it will probably be easy now to be barefoot next to friends. Unlike distant peers, my family knows that I'm not normally barefoot and it would look out of place for me to be barefoot and thus they may bring it up in some way, thereby making me self conscious and nervous. And unlike the hotel room, whenever I get a chance to be barefoot I get unbelievably nervous.

    Some other information about my family: My mom is barefoot a lot at home and wears sandals a lot, too. My sister's feet are ALWAYS showing, barefoot at home and sandals in public. My dad is sometimes barefoot at home, like on his days off work. My brother is barefoot a lot when it's comfortable. It's clear none of them have a problem with being barefoot.

    Information about my anatomy:

    I'm completely pale on my chest, upper arms, legs, and feet. This wasn't always like this, but since I stopped exposing these parts while in the sun, they got super pale. I think that if I could get a little tan, just enough to not be super pale, I'd have a lot easier time exposing these parts. The problem is I can't get tan without exposing these parts first. Tanning beds and self tanners are not possible.

    I started puberty later than most, so I'm still going through it. My legs are really long compared to the rest of my body. They also are really thin while my feet are really wide. Looking in the mirror, the wideness of my feet isn't noticeable when I have long pants on, but is when wearing shorts and have my skinny legs exposed. I'm not muscular in the slightest. My chest is very thin, you can see the ribs pretty well. My chest also goes "in" about halfway up my chest and then goes back out.

    Another thing, I really don't have a problem lifting up my shirt, but taking it off completely scares me. This is pretty weird but I think it could be because with my shirt it's not the nervousness of people seeing my body, but rather not being able to put my shirt back down immediately and my upper half being completely visible at the same time. This, however, is not the case with my legs, I don't like lifting up my pants or removing half of my sock in public.

    I also have a pretty strong foot fetish for bare female feet. I don't know if this has anything to do with it, and is probably the effect of my nervousness, not the cause.

    I'm still a minor, 15 years of age, but since this isn't really about private parts, by law I'm allowed to take pictures, I can cover my upper legs and genitals, as well as face. I'm not nervous about that as I know It's anonymous and I will never talk to anyone here again, so it doesn't matter if you think I'm ugly or whatever.

    Thanks for reading, if you have any advice please offer it, if you have any questions, ask.
     
  2. seizedbyanger

    seizedbyanger Banned

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    I'm sorry, I didn't read the whole thing I only skimmed it, but its not a big deal.. just don't wear shoes.. what your upper body looks like doesn't matter.. if someone asks you to leave your store, just leave, their loss, not yours
     
  3. CapandGown

    CapandGown Member

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    I don't think you understand. I'm no where near being capable of being barefoot in a store or even in public. Right now my goal is to be able to be barefoot in the house and possibly the yard. One day I may graduate to being able to be barefoot in public.

    I mentioned my upper body only because that's a similar problem to the one I have with my feet.
     
  4. Barefoot-boy

    Barefoot-boy Member

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    Your story is quite similar to that of myself when I was at your age, at a time when I was extremly shy about baring my feet especially in front of family members and others around me. I too did not like wearing shorts or going shirtless, at your age I too had a thin build and was quite pale.

    Do not think for a minute that you are all alone as to regards to your foot shyness, you are in good company, believe me! The fact that you are willing to open yourself up to total strangers here sounds like are embracing your dilemma and have the willingness to change.

    My suggestion is to take risks, even though they might be some baby steps, nothing will change until you actually apply yourself. Go somewhere to a place where being barefoot and shirtless is the norm, bring along a friend for a little support if you need it, try wearing flip flops in a public place, try an activity that is usually performed barefoot such as yoga or swimming. If these are too much for now, just go outside your house for a few minutes with your shirt off and in bare feet, that's exactly what I did. Before long, your condifence will overtake those fears and you will soon realize that the sky didn't fall just because you were barefoot. In fact you will probably feel better about yourself knowing you took a risk and achieved it!
     
  5. cell172

    cell172 Member

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    The first thing I want to say is dont worry. You just need to learn how to be comfortable in your own skin. In my opinion this is a perfectly normal part of being a teenager. Everyone goes through it to a certain extent. Anyway, so my advice is to just bare it whenever you are alone until you're comfortable enough to do it with people. Take as much time as you need. Try to go barefoot from the time you go to sleep until you have to leave for school. Then once you're comfortable with that try to go from when you get home until you leave and so on. As for your shirt and shorts. Do the same thing as I said above but try to put yourself in positions where it would be noticeably odd for you to wear normal clothes (ie beach, or pool). Just realize that it doesnt matter what others think of you, only what you think of yourself. It took me a long time to realize that and to some extent I'm still having to learn it. I have a best friend that you remind me of very much. I've only seen him out of jeans and a polo shirt a few times in the 6 years I've known him. And when he stayed at my house he even wore his shoes while he slept. Over the past few months however he has started to become more confident in himself. I'm very proud of him as he has started to wear shorts and even flip flops on occasion. Good luck.
     
  6. deleted

    deleted Visitor

    Im a better carpenter when im barefoot.. not just laying carpet but framing and shit.. I can grip and place boards/lumber with my toes and feet. just yesterday I was ripping nails from pine baseboards, when I stood those up Id wrap my toes around the bottom to keep it from moving, sure you could do that with shoes on, Ill bet... :p
     
  7. jagerhans

    jagerhans Far out, man. Lifetime Supporter

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    I suspect that the fetish side of the story has something to do with your foot shyness. Maybe you are unconsciously loading bare feet with sexual meanings, thus triggering a super-ego reaction. Please note that a fetish for female bare feet is quite common. I have one. Non-barefooter friends of mine also have it and talk about it without a blink of the eye. I'd say that among uncommon attitudes, this one is one of the most popular ones. Maybe your deeper layers of consciousness are messing things up a bit.
    Or, maybe in addition to this, you simply have commonplace feelings of bodily inadequacy , many boys feel odd in yer age; just be patient. In the meantime concentrate your thoughts about the pleasant reality of NOT being too fat or crippled. Im not joking. Also you may be starting to feel social pressure and the urge of conforming to social standards, but I think this is the least likely explanation and definitely the hardest one, cause it only gets worse with age. maybe Not your case, since you feel shy at home.

    now, about the cure of being shy, i cant give you many suggestions, if you can't find a set of thoughts that help you in overcoming it, the other way is to tread on and crush your own shyness by nerve, again and again until it ceases being a problem. your choice.

    interesting thread, man.
     
  8. Mason Grey

    Mason Grey Member

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    you shouldn't ever worry about being barefoot, it ain't nothin but a thing...

    sometimes i/you/we walk into a place barefoot and they say::
    "hey! dude! shoes or forget about it, son!!"
    that is how it goes...
    sometimes there is a real strength and satisfaction in being rejected- -
    if you are rejected for what you enjoy/believe -
    it is power to the spirit.
     
  9. CapandGown

    CapandGown Member

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    Another important thing, I'm pretty sure either fetishes are genetic or are based heavily on the way I was raised because, I'm not sure but, I think a lot of my family, even the girls, have foot fetishes.

    Like, when I was younger, my sister was like 13 and I was like 8 or whatever and we were playing around on the internet, I think we were looking at wallpapers for you desktop. Well, we were browsing through them and one of them was a circle of feet on a beach or whatever. My sister was like "Whoa, feet!" and I chuckled, being 8 I hadn't developed my fetish, and she was like "What I like feet?", so I chuckled again and jokingly asked why and she was like "Can't explain it, I just do". She was thirteen so it was probably right after she developed the fetish, before she completely recognized it and I can relate to it when I was in that stage.

    Also my niece, who's younger than me, like 9-10, was at my house like last year because my mom was babysitting and I was sitting on the recliner and she was on the couch and we were watching TV. My mom already went to bed. Now, my niece is the type of girl that's pretty outgoing with what she says and asks A LOT of questions. Remember how I don't ever go barefoot? Well, she asked why I always wore socks. I don't remember how I answered, probably "It's more comfortable". She then proceeded onto asking if she could see my feet, which was weird, but I was too worried about getting out of it, I refused and she asked if she could at least see part of my feet, I refused again and then the subject was dropped. I'm pretty sure she has a fetish, too. Keep in mind that this was well after I stopped going barefoot, so it's not the cause.
     
  10. jagerhans

    jagerhans Far out, man. Lifetime Supporter

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    ok, i suspect we hammered this nail right on its head. Maybe you picked the 'foot' vibe lurking among your next of kin and projected it on another dimension of life - sexuality . This projection charged it with meanings going way beyond the mere fact of being barefooted which is quite neutral by itself, to the point that you are now unconsciously associating being barefoot with some sexual message. hence the discomfort. just guessing of course. if what we babble here does not light a bulb in your mind maybe it is because its all bullshit so please take these speculations with a huge dose of skepticism and humour. hope this can , somewhat, help. also you may want to try for once public barefooting in a friendly, confrontation-free environment and see what happens. in your mind, i mean. what kind of feelings does this unleash ? do you feel observed/inadequate ? can be fear of being judged. do you feel ashamed or by the opposite, sense that this turns you on ? , well then it's possibly fetish. either way, no need to worry, just to understand oneself.
     
  11. CapandGown

    CapandGown Member

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    At this point, after the hotel experience I described in the original post, I feel that I could go barefoot and probably not even be scared of someone asking, even if they insult my feet, as long as there is no risk of my family being there. I could easily go to the ocean and walk barefoot and shirtless, my family probably won't be there, I live in Ohio.

    UPDATE: A few minutes after posting this thread I decided that I needed to buckle down and grow some balls. I put forth a set of rules that I would make myself follow, albeit temporary until I can honestly say to myself I outgrew my nervousness:

    1) If I'm at home and my shoes are off, my socks should be off as well. I used to spend the majority of time in my socks only and I'm not comfortable watching TV or being on the computer in shoes so this is effective for me.

    2) If I'm at home and wearing pajamas I must be barefoot. This goes along with the first rule but eliminates any idea that I could wear shoes with my PJs.

    3) I should try to go outside of my room more and more each day, exposing my feet to family.

    Overall, I've been doing pretty good. The first day I was able to walk across the hallway from my room to the bathroom barefoot both ways. This was only one step in the hallway before i reach the bathroom, but it's a start. Also on that day I worked up some balls and walked through the living room, past my mother, to the kitchen. She didn't say anything but I saw her glancing down a little noticing I was barefoot.

    The second day, yesterday, I walked into the bathroom and back and also to the laundry room, again past my mother, talked to my mother and stood out for a few minutes preparing something to eat, it was ice cream if you must know. However, right after school that day I got home and the heat was high so I told my mom it was hot, she informed me the thermostat was broken and also said "If you took off some of those clothes you wouldn't be so hot". I've known my mother for a while and I know that she was encouraging me to go barefoot again.

    And now it's today, the third day, we'll see how it goes. I'm still incredibly nervous and it takes a lot of fighting to get myself to walk outside of my room into visible area, especially before the sun sets and dims the lighting a little, making it less obvious and making my feet look less pale.

    The more I'm thinking about it the more I think that if my feet weren't super pale, not necessarily tan, just not extremely pale, I would be just fine. Does anyone have any tips on just making them a little less pale without going outside or buying anything I don't already have?
     
  12. Barefoot-boy

    Barefoot-boy Member

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    The only way to make your feet less pale is to get them out in the sun unless you want to use a sunless tanning lotion which will cause you to go out and purchase something. Staying inside your home will keep your feet the shade that they currently are. There is no trick to this.

    About how warm was it up there the other day? I'm originally from the Buckeye state, where in Ohio are you from if you don't mind me asking?
     
  13. CapandGown

    CapandGown Member

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    Near Cincinnati, that's as specific as I'll get.

    What do you mean the other day? The weather lately has been weird. The last three days have been cloudy and chili, but a week ago it was sunny and hot with occasional cloudy, cool, and rainy periods mixed in at random times.

    About the tanning, does anyone have any advice to get tan in my backyard without any finding out I'm doing it? Particularly my family members. There are occasional times when I'm home alone, but they sometimes come back early.

    Also a question, is there any rule that states I can't put a picture of my barefeet or my chest being that I'm 15? It wouldn't have my face in it and I'd blur out any distinguishing marks.
     
  14. Barefoot-boy

    Barefoot-boy Member

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    Again, there is no magic bullet for this one. It sounds as if you fear a family member would come home and catch you sitting outside in your bare feet and no shirt, correct? What is the worst that can happen? This is another issue you are going have to resolve yourself. All anyone here could suggest is keeping a shirt and a pair of shoes by your side in case you are suddenly caught off guard. Remember every step into the unknown involves taking a risk.
     
  15. tuesdaystar

    tuesdaystar Interneter

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    Sounds like you need privacy and strangers. Ever thought about summer camp?

    I can't relate to your specific anxieties. My body doesn't even border on conventionally attractive, but the idea of exposing my human parts doesn't cause me much anxiety. I can relate to anxiety about barefootedness due to my developing germ-phobias. I hate unclean feelings under my bare feet.

    This thread is so sincere.
     
  16. jagerhans

    jagerhans Far out, man. Lifetime Supporter

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    good idea. one of the best things is barefooting where nearly everyone is barefoot, like on some beach. summer camp is another great idea. about the pale skin issue, well it does not take a long while until you start building some sun tan.
     
  17. deleted

    deleted Visitor

    and you put your feet in dirty sweaty shoes.. haha, great job germaphobe... [​IMG]
     
  18. CapandGown

    CapandGown Member

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    Summer Camp costs money and time, I don't have either. I go to bandcamp for five long grueling days and nights in the summer.

    I just wish there was a time when I knew my parents wouldn't be back and nobody would come over so that I could go outside and just walk around barefoot and shirtless for an hour or so.

    UPDATE 5/5/11: Today, following my rules, has been my most exposed day so far. It's still perfect daylight right now, 6:30, and I've been walking around the house and doing various chores while my mom is in the living room capable of seeing my feet if she looks or glances. I've also spent some time barefoot cleaning up my room while my door is open, not nervous at all, while someone could walk by. I wasn't very nervous while walking around the house and doing chores, but I did jump when my mom raised her voice talking to the cat, thinking she was saying something about my barefeet. Also today, my niece, not the one described in the original post, who's about 9 or 10 was here and saw my barefeet as well as my nephew who is like 8 or 9. There's certain people I'm nervous about just saying something because they've done similar things in the past, though. Another thing today, our Forest Green garbage can was out front and I cleaned out the pet's cage and had a bag that needed to go in it. I walked outside from the backyard to the frontyard, a grass route, barefoot. In the frontyard, which today I was only in for a few moments, cars containing people I could know could have driven by and seen me. My set of rules has been working!
     
  19. hillman30

    hillman30 Member

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    Maybe think of it this way. When I started barefooting as a kid the possibility of someone I knew seeing me barefoot was actually exciting. Because hoping someone else would think that it was hot just helped feed my fetish. As did hoping I would get my feet dirty and that would maybe feed someone elses foot fetish.
     
  20. Polly112

    Polly112 Member

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    I am exactly the same CapandGown... I dont know where to start... I like being barefoot or at leat without socks... but where to start?
     

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