Sexual inexperience: who else feels it's a turn off?

For as long as I can remember, I despised virgins. I lost my virginity to a woman 4 years older than myself (not a virgin), and have since been primarily with women who were older and more experienced than myself. Throughout my 20s, I've always sought sexually experienced partners and avoided "innocent" or prudish people.

Now that I am turning 34, my options appear to be shrinking fast. I am still very sexually active, fit, and single; but, with each sexual experience it seems like I become a part of a more and more select group of sexually experienced people. And with each sexual experience, it becomes more difficult for me to be attracted to average girls, even if they look astounding. I think to myself, "What can someone who's only had a couple boyfriends or who is sexually inhibited offer me in bed?" :biggrin:

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I know there are guys out there who love that. I've been told by some guys that they feel more like "a man" when they teach innocent young girls the tricks of the trade; and that's why they have a real hard-on for young chicks. Not to mention the fact that they can "claim" to be someone's first.

And now it feels that I'm starting to reverse my earlier leanings, and began having real poignant (possibly long repressed?) fantasies about younger women. Not pedophilic fantasies or anything (at least, not yet ). But I think it is happening as a way to counteract the fact that I am feeling more and more sequestered into an ivory tower of people who have had a significant amount of partners, have taken significant risks to get out of their comfort zones, and aren't in any way sexually inhibited.

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If you think of yourself as sexually experienced or if you're getting up there in age... Are you turned off by sexual inexperience? How does that affect your relationship with women in general? Do you feel more limited in your choice of partners? Do you fantasize about younger girls? Why?

Thanks.

 

im 19..i like older men.. my boyfriend is only 2 years older :/ but i generally am attracted to older men...

i'd rather they know what theyre doin tho.. he was more experienced than me when we got together. i like a man who knows what hes doin. raawwrr haha..

i would hate to be the one teaching someone...

looks like i am you, when you were my age

EDIT: i know your lookin for male answers but i just felt like replying

 

It sounds like perhaps your sexual preferences are changing as a way to preserve/ensure an active sex life for you. That or you're simply becoming more attracted to younger women because you're getting older, I don't know.

I'm not going to judge you, but I'm not going to comment on the younger girl thing because I don't feel that that is right, nor do I find them attractive whatsoever.

As for the virgin vs experience I know what you mean. A virgin (only sexually speaking) has nothing to offer if one is looking for really good sex. I've never seen virginity as some prize or belt notch. A sexually experienced woman who can get on top and rock your world is much more appealing and obviously has much more to offer.

That being said, I would think Cherea that you still have a very wide market available to you. Late 20s through late 30s singles, but on top of that there's probably a large group of 40 somethings who are fresh off a divorce and are not looking for anything serious except a good fuck as it's been a while.

Experience is definitely more appealing in contrast to lack thereof or prudishness.

 

Thanks for responding. I think it is so. Yeah, one of the two.

This is only relatively related to age, though. Some young girls have acquired a lot of experience in a short time-span. Whereas 40-year-old divorcees may still lack it.

I think we see eye-to-eye on this issue.

 

Yea of course, I was just meaning to address this;

While it's probably true that the available age group of women your age are getting paired off and settling...uh, I mean settling down, there is still the experienced younger crowd and the experienced older/freshly divorced crowd. Going beyond that there's the freshly widowed crowd

 

Personally I do not worry about it. Experience has little to do with preference. To this date the best blowjobs I ever had were from my first sexual partner, and I was hers. My favorite sex was with another girlfriend who had not had sexual partners before me just like the former girl, but a close second was a girl 6 years older, with experience. And some of the least enjoyable sex I have had has been with people who have had many more partners.

With experience comes habit. With sexual inexperienced partners, you get the oppertunity to mold their habits to your preference. Ive done it to two different people, mentioned above, so I know it works on some level at least

 

It's strange. Girls my age seem to assume I'm inexperienced but as it turns out I've had quite a good amount of experiance with older women who seem to like me a lot more than the girls in my age range.

More often than not the people I've been involved with were at least 5 years older than me. I've bridged the 16 year gap though. I was with a woman who had a kid older than me lol

I don't know why I have trouble connecting with girls my own age... you can't really be a free spirit and have any sort of meaningful relationship with someone who already has their life set in order... i dunno.

 

I don't think it's as much about experience, but openness and just plain sexuality (my girlfriend started off pretty damn good, even though she's way better after all these years).
A lot of inexperienced girls might not be open to very much, and a lot may not have good sexual instinct or hunger; older ones, especially.
If you got yourself a lolita (don't) or lonely teenager with a little bit of instinct; I'm sure she'd be able to drive you wild.



I've always fantasized about more experienced (older) women the most; but sometimes I fantasize about a threesome where me and my girl are showing someone a little younger the ropes.

 

I understand what you're saying on one level. However, I do feel like sexual experience with many partners is something I prize, regardless of sexual appetite.

Granted, the lolita could potentially drive me wild; but I'm thinking if she's truly uninhibited, either she'd be on her way to acquire experience with many more partners than myself and I would be a stepping stone to her (fine by me); or, she'd be seeking the kind of relationship you have with your girlfriend (freaky with one guy).

Although I can see the benefits and security in monogamy, I still strive for women who can be uninhibited in open relationships as well. Were I to enter a monogamous relationship one day, I would want a lengthy open stage first, I do believe.

 

I definitely can identify with that =P

For me, I think it's mostly two things: variety is the spice of life and all
But also, that as much of a romantic sap I am, I've always idolized ladies men, not the total scum mind you; but the Clark Gable, Dean Martin-type -- and I started out with a ton of social anxiety -- and now that chicks actually dig me with some frequency, it kills me that I must inhibit myself


Any clue why do you take so much pride in their experience?

 

When we say another is inexperienced, we are simply admitting to our own.

There is super sex, it is liberating. Then there is supra sex, it is imprisoning.

 

Virgins can be....shall I say "unique"?

 

I have nothing to say other than to say: This made me laugh.
That's what very confident people write in their singles ad.
"NS. Likes: Going to the Cinema, walks in the country and quiet nights in"
No sir, that's not good enough: I'm very sexually active, fit, and single.

lol...

 

Women hit their sexual peak around the age of 30, which means there is a whole untapped (by you) group of women in your age group who have spent their 20s aquiring experience and are hitting their sexual peak, just waiting to use you to whet their appetite Go forth and find them

 

i like younger girls. i'm at that age where young girls think i'm cool, so i capitalise on this.

 

I've always despised ladiesman. And I am also very impatient toward groupieish attention coming from women (even on the rare occasions it's directed toward me).

I've always suspected ladiesmen were more about "being seen" with and "chased" by ladies than actually fucking them. And, that's everything that I am not and my polar opposite.

I am much too shy, awkward, socially impatient, and too much of a loner to be the smooth ladiesman. Not to mention a tad short and lean. Way too formal and reserved to be "cool."

The guys I've always identified with were the guys who get around on the DL. No bang. And that just sort of happened. Like you, I came from a place of social anxiety,,,when I was 19, even puritanism...used to think fucking around was morally wrong.

I think certain relationships were what led me down the path from one chick to another. Each chick was a reaction to the previous one, until I was able to turn around and see the full deck...by accident. Of course, I've always desired (and still do) being with as many women as possible, but something about it still feels accidental...

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Something else I can identify with from what you said is the inhibition part. One of my formative experiences (I was around 26 and really just starting picking up speed, though already no virgin) was my commitment of 3 years. It was then that I first felt attractive after adolescence.

But I had to inhibit myself due to commitment. So, what happened after we parted? I fucked around like I had never done before.

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Why do I take pride in their experience? Well, chicks who fuck a lot are just plain attractive to me. It's hard to explain why...It's not so much pride as it is an incredible love for whores.

P.S. One girlfriend used to call me "whore-lover" another one diagnosed me with a "gigolo-complex."

 

this is an interesting thread

 

Maybe this is why;

Maybe you're psychologically more attracted to women who get around because it's the polar opposite of your background growing up. It's the thing that you were taught was bad; promiscuity. Sometimes what's bad can be desirable for the sole reason that it is "bad".

The reason you no longer see it as bad is because you've developed your own morality, but the attraction has been ingrained in you since your sexual appetite starting getting stronger, or likely even before that.

 

yeah, an interesting thread btu I'm not really sure exactly what your point is? I'm getting older, 59, and "still" sexually active - part from physical decline sexually I am, if anything have become more active sexually in the last five years. I shoiuld say that I'm married the last 18 years but before than as single for 20 years I had some scores of women and maybe half a score of men.

I am mostly attracted to people younger than me and having now come out to my wife as bisexual am enjoying some rennaisance with swinnging, boyfriend and 3sums. Not as experienced as some of course but I feel that I have become much more open to other sexual modes and lifestyles.

Thinking of younger lovers i canot say that the 19 y o Vietnamese boy I met in NZealand was lacking in his lovemaking - only his maturity; and he was fun. Everyone has their story and just because they may not have wide sexual experience they will all have something to bring to the party.

who wants to only fuck sex-snobs, what happened to innocence being a turn-on.................

Simon :sunny:

 

You don't stay away from high school basketball because the NBA has better players. There's fun to be had enjoying both ends of the B-ball spectrum. Same with sex.