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Alternative Names For Male Dominant Partner


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#1 Jinny

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Posted January 14 2011 - 12:30 PM

Friend just called - she is starting a new stage in her relationship with a guy who wants to be a Dom with her. He claims he has experience, and has apparently asked his subs in the past, to call him "Daddy". She is very upset by this, largely because she was, and still is, abused by her father, and said she would call him anything else, but any 'Dad' type names. He asked her to come up with alternative suggestions, but she doesn't know. Only Sir, or Master, both of which he apparently turned down.

She asked me for suggestions, but I haven't a clue, especially as I too was abused by my father, and the idea would freak me out completely and have me heading for the hills faster than he could blink, so I do feel for her! When she told me - she said that he had asked her for alternatives on the 'D' word.....I offered her "D*ckhead!". Sadly, she wasn't as amused by that, as I was...ssiigghhss. Lol.

Anyway, so I thought I would turn it over to 'the experts' on this board...What are your alternative words to imply a dominant father figure, but without making any Dad or Daddy type name terms... if that makes any sense at all.

Thanks in advance.


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#2 Duck

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Posted January 14 2011 - 01:37 PM

Daddy, mama, and all that always disgusted me. Even baby is kinda weird.

What's his problem with master? It seems to me like he's just being uncooperative and inconsiderate.
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#3 I'minmyunderwear

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Posted January 14 2011 - 07:29 PM

"]YouTube - I'm not your daddy I'm your grandpa

#4 Heat

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Posted January 14 2011 - 07:36 PM

Perhaps the Daddy part of the game to him is part of him being dominant and the whole point of the game.

If she is not comfortable with this "pet name" perhaps she is also not going to like to being dominated very much.

She may want to rethink this.

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#5 Duck

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Posted January 14 2011 - 08:06 PM

Perhaps the Daddy part of the game to him is part of him being dominant and the whole point of the game.

If she is not comfortable with this "pet name" perhaps she is also not going to like to being dominated very much.

She may want to rethink this.

Well, obviously by not wanting to be called that; she's not being very submissive, and that might be why he's being troublesome about a replacement word. But any good dom-sub relationship, whether personal, casual, or professional, needs it's boundaries; and he just plain isn't being respectful.

But yes, you are right that she should reconsider. :)
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#6 I'minmyunderwear

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Posted January 14 2011 - 08:07 PM

maybe he should just start fucking his daughter.

#7 ezm8

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Posted January 14 2011 - 08:19 PM

if she doesn't want to be dominated, then she shouldn't go through with it.


if she does and just needs to find a good name, well


if she is from the UK, "my lord" sounds like a good one!


... or how about "your royal penis"!

#8 Reverand JC

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Posted January 14 2011 - 11:04 PM

Do you know what all subs have in common?

NONE OF THEM KNOW HOW TO FUCKING LISTEN!!!!!!!!!!

OK seriously the whole dom/sub thing is just a more extreme version of a "normal" relationship. Even in the most standard vanilla relationship there are dominant and submissive partners and a constant power exchange. We all have words that we don't want to hear our signifigant other say ever and the person on the other end needs to learn to respect that.

That being said I think that there is a move able boundry set here. The whole "D-word" thing sounds a little too demanding on the Doms part. Actually reading it while I'm writing it there is your answer "DOM" there is the fucking name.

Repeat it for me:
"Yes Dom,"

Louder Bitch!

Like you fucking mean it!

Sorry got a little carried away there.

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#9 Vanilla Gorilla

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Posted January 15 2011 - 12:34 AM

Oh, the irony

Abused / Dominated by her father

But doesnt want to call the dom daddy, so that it ........is in no way similar to what her dad does???

#10 Jinny

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Posted January 15 2011 - 04:14 PM

Thanks for your replies.

I agree - the boundaries should be set - she said she is willing to do anything asked except be reminded of the mental and violent abuse she suffers at home, as a child to present date. I don't think thats unreasonable. Maybe she isn't suited to be a sub - but she wants to give it a go, and the guy appears respectful and intelligent enough. This is the first real issue she's had with him. We'll see what happens.

Thanks Rev - she said she will suggest Dom to him later. Let's see what he makes of that one.
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#11 jia

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Posted January 16 2011 - 08:20 AM

Master, Sir, whatever he tells her to call him, etc. Her requests aren't unreasonable, and a good Domme would comfort her and not try to pry those feelings up so early in the relationship.

When trust builds up a lot, it might actually help her -- she can work through some of the things while knowing she can stop things at any time and is in control. This is a similar reason to why a fair percentage of women who have been raped paradoxically seem to have rape fantasies, its so they can take back control of the incident and move on.

#12 Black Ice

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Posted January 22 2011 - 09:27 AM

if she is from the UK, "my lord" sounds like a good one!


... or how about "your royal penis"!


Hahaa. Yes. Because everyone from the UK loves the monarchy. You're so witty.

#13 kitkatalice

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Posted January 22 2011 - 09:32 PM

Owner, Alpha, Lord, Master, Sir, Sire...If he is hellbent on "Daddy" she could call him that in another language so it won't sound like daddy. She could also use some of the listed words in other languages as well.

#14 Duck

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Posted January 22 2011 - 09:37 PM

Owner, Alpha, Lord, Master, Sir, Sire...If he is hellbent on "Daddy" she could call him that in another language so it won't sound like daddy. She could also use some of the listed words in other languages as well.

You're good.
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#15 kitkatalice

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Posted January 23 2011 - 11:19 AM

You're good.


My secret fetish is to be made into a sub by my fiance. For now I settle on the occasional dominant moods she gets.

#16 ezm8

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Posted January 23 2011 - 11:25 AM

Hahaa. Yes. Because everyone from the UK loves the monarchy.


yes, especially the sex pistols



You're so witty.



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#17 vigilanteherbalist2

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Posted January 23 2011 - 12:11 PM

ummmm, maybe she's not actually a sub and she needs therapy. she's trying to recreate her home life by dating this guy. bad news.

#18 kitkatalice

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Posted January 23 2011 - 01:59 PM

ummmm, maybe she's not actually a sub and she needs therapy. she's trying to recreate her home life by dating this guy. bad news.


Doms aren't supposed to abuse their subs unless the sub misbehaves. They love their subs. After all the sub is supposed to obey so they are repaid in love and kindness. Underneath the power play there is still a relationship.

The fact that she asked this guy NOT to call him Daddy is telling is she is not trying to recreate her home life. Albeit she has some daddy issues.

#19 SubFe1990

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Posted May 16 2012 - 04:29 PM

First off yes a good Dom TRYS to take his/her subs feeling into concentration BUT to be a good sub is to surrender ALL control. NO it is not like any other "relationship" i have been a sub for a few years and things my master tell me to do I DO WITHOUT THINKING TWICE ABOUT IT a sub has no control or power. a true sub loves her Dom for anything he makes her do. my master has had me do things i never thought i would as far as the name i understand her point because i too do not like that work used on him but my master has me call him "mighty one" or King. as for some of the post i have read. it is a personal life choice for people to make their are MANY people who thrive in those situations as i do.

#20 pink_lioness

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Posted May 18 2012 - 02:39 PM

First off yes a good Dom TRYS to take his/her subs feeling into concentration BUT to be a good sub is to surrender ALL control. NO it is not like any other "relationship" i have been a sub for a few years and things my master tell me to do I DO WITHOUT THINKING TWICE ABOUT IT a sub has no control or power. a true sub loves her Dom for anything he makes her do. my master has had me do things i never thought i would as far as the name i understand her point because i too do not like that work used on him but my master has me call him "mighty one" or King. as for some of the post i have read. it is a personal life choice for people to make their are MANY people who thrive in those situations as i do.


There is a difference in D/s relationships as the the level of power exchange, many of us subs are not up for the TPE that you seem to have with your Dom. There are limits to things we will or won't do, I also will not call my Dom "daddy" or any variation thereof. A good Dom/me understands a sub's limits and respects them, while pushing them. As "Daddy" is a hard limit for this person, the Dom has given her the task of finding something suitable that they both agree on. Sound to me like they are both in a good place in their growing D/s relationship. All she can do is find names that feel right for her, and see which he likes. They will eventually come to an agreement.

It angers me when people say that by not wanting to call him "Daddy" she isn't a "true" sub. This is someone who is obviously not well versed in the lifestyle.

If he doesn't like the generic "My Lord" type names, you can try suggestion something that sounds fierce, like Dragon or something along those lines. There are some Dom's I know who like to go by Mr. (last name), maybe he'd like that route too.

I hope you friend and her Dom have come to an agreement about this by now, and that she is well on her path to understanding and embracing her submissive nature.

#21 dom_soul

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Posted December 07 2012 - 01:33 PM

There is a difference in D/s relationships as the the level of power exchange, many of us subs are not up for the TPE that you seem to have with your Dom. There are limits to things we will or won't do, I also will not call my Dom "daddy" or any variation thereof..........

Well said pink_lioness, that's bang-on in my book. I wanted to post here after reading all the replies but you've already put into words what I was thinking.

I'm always wary of prescriptive descriptions of a 'real' Dom or sub. I meet D/s couples at munches and events and this trait doesn't reflect the lifestyle in general.

For me as a Dom I would be very concerned for a sub in that situation though and would find it almost impossible to develop the D/s dynamic without resolving the more important issue of abuse.

#22 drumminmama

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Posted December 08 2012 - 11:13 PM

Fuuuuk. The Twues have arrived.

Ok, every relationship is different. What I do is different from what Rev does, is different from what my ex does, is different than what you do.

Because it is a relationship.

Some people are kinky in the bedroom, some are when they can, and some live it all the time. Or think they want to.

Some use really annoying splashy speak, going on about T/their needs and talking to U/us, etc.
Some know treat their exchange as a private matter.
Plenty of subs have the right to speak up. Some slaves do, too. It gets negotiated, and doesn't apply to anyone else.
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#23 Ivory62

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Posted December 10 2012 - 07:44 PM

Friend just called - she is starting a new stage in her relationship with a guy who wants to be a Dom with her. He claims he has experience, and has apparently asked his subs in the past, to call him "Daddy". She is very upset by this, largely because she was, and still is, abused by her father, and said she would call him anything else, but any 'Dad' type names. He asked her to come up with alternative suggestions, but she doesn't know. Only Sir, or Master, both of which he apparently turned down.



She asked me for suggestions, but I haven't a clue, especially as I too was abused by my father, and the idea would freak me out completely and have me heading for the hills faster than he could blink, so I do feel for her! When she told me - she said that he had asked her for alternatives on the 'D' word.....I offered her "D*ckhead!". Sadly, she wasn't as amused by that, as I was...ssiigghhss. Lol.


Anyway, so I thought I would turn it over to 'the experts' on this board...What are your alternative words to imply a dominant father figure, but without making any Dad or Daddy type name terms... if that makes any sense at all.


Thanks in advance.


Director?

Demander?

your Decadence?

Defiler?


dunno.....