Jump to content


Photo
- - - - -

How to make my cat fat


  • This topic is locked This topic is locked
39 replies to this topic

#1 squibbles

squibbles

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 405 posts

Posted November 05 2010 - 01:29 PM

What is the quickest way to make my cat fat? I'm not going to lie and bullshit, because honestly I don't care if my cat doesn't live a long healthy life. So if your going to be a whiny bitch dont even reply

Besides a shit ton of cat food I've been giving her lunch meat. Also I put bacon grease or butter on top of her food on a regular basis. Is there anything else I could do to make her get fatter? Should I lock her in a small space so she gets no work out everyday and can't burn it off? She hasn't been throwing up, no shits or nothing no bad reactions that I can tell (for all you cock suckers that are going to reply anyway and say this is bad, shes had no bad reactions so suck my weiner).. Any additional tips/tricks to make cats fat?
All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then you're all you motherfucks are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob

#2 psychedelicg1rl

psychedelicg1rl

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 853 posts

Posted November 05 2010 - 01:34 PM

why the hell would you want to make your cat fat? and why would you post you dont care if your cat lives very long life. What kind of pet owner are you?

#3 squibbles

squibbles

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 405 posts

Posted November 05 2010 - 01:37 PM

why the hell would you want to make your cat fat? and why would you post you dont care if your cat lives very long life. What kind of pet owner are you?


The kind that wants my cat to be fat as fuck obviously, duh. What kind of poster are you after reading the original post and still whining about some boo hoo bullshit. I'm not going to beg and plead with you people just don't post if your not going to give me some advice- I dont give a shit about my cat being healthy, so fuck yourselves.
All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then you're all you motherfucks are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob

#4 psychedelicg1rl

psychedelicg1rl

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 853 posts

Posted November 05 2010 - 01:39 PM

Ok , wow, anger issues.

Go along with trying to kill your cat.


Really dont care. I am sure you might actually get an reply or two, that might help you. but Seriously if you dont tell someone why you want to make your cat fat, why would they help yOU?

#5 squibbles

squibbles

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 405 posts

Posted November 05 2010 - 01:41 PM

Because fat cats are obviously more lovable then skinny cats. Average cats are boring. Fat cats are where it is at. Do I need anymore reason then that? I don't mean to offend you- which I may have. But don't take it so personally, it's a forum on the internet. I asked for opinions on how to make my cat fat, not on how to make it healthy..
All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then you're all you motherfucks are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob

#6 idioticnumbskull

idioticnumbskull

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 806 posts

Posted November 05 2010 - 01:41 PM

Well this is a dissapointement. I thought the thread was going to about how to give yourself bigger and fuller va-j-j lips.

#7 psychedelicg1rl

psychedelicg1rl

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 853 posts

Posted November 05 2010 - 01:43 PM

Dont worry I didnt take it personally.

Cant give you advise on that, bc I dont really like making cats fat.
lol

#8 squibbles

squibbles

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 405 posts

Posted November 05 2010 - 01:44 PM

So.. You wanna hook up then? ASL???
All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then you're all you motherfucks are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob

#9 squibbles

squibbles

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 405 posts

Posted November 05 2010 - 01:45 PM

Well this is a dissapointement. I thought the thread was going to about how to give yourself bigger and fuller va-j-j lips.


It was posted in the animal forum.. Why would it be about giner-69ers?
All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then you're all you motherfucks are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob

#10 idioticnumbskull

idioticnumbskull

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 806 posts

Posted November 05 2010 - 01:46 PM

Are fat cats really more lovable then skinny cats?

#11 dollyfizz

dollyfizz

    Senior Member

  • Senior Member
  • 1,125 posts

Posted November 05 2010 - 01:47 PM

Squibbles you big stupid knob-end! :bobby:

#12 squibbles

squibbles

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 405 posts

Posted November 05 2010 - 01:47 PM

Of course they are. You out of anyone should know this... rumor has it you have the fattest cats around..
All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then you're all you motherfucks are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob

#13 Lostthoughts

Lostthoughts

    Thostloughts

  • Members
  • 2,000 posts

Posted November 05 2010 - 01:47 PM

just leave it in the freezer for a while, it`ll eventualy get bored and just eat all your food
Pay no attention to the motherfucker behind the curtain.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

#14 squibbles

squibbles

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 405 posts

Posted November 05 2010 - 01:49 PM

Thank god for some advice instead of being a doucher. Id give you rep, but apparently I cant.. Freezers are cold though, I don't want him to freeze to death (see I care so go fuck yourselves once more) I obviously want him to fatten up before he becomes frozen. I don't want to eat a semi-fat cat. Will my pantry work?
All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then you're all you motherfucks are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob

#15 Lostthoughts

Lostthoughts

    Thostloughts

  • Members
  • 2,000 posts

Posted November 05 2010 - 01:51 PM

Are fat cats really more lovable then skinny cats?


Well.. theres no comic strips that have existed for over 30 years about skinny active cats.. (not to mention some movies and tv shows)
Pay no attention to the motherfucker behind the curtain.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

#16 dollyfizz

dollyfizz

    Senior Member

  • Senior Member
  • 1,125 posts

Posted November 05 2010 - 01:52 PM

Just ram doughnuts down it's throat. A la foie gras.

#17 Michael Phelps

Michael Phelps

    Am I being detained?

  • Members
  • 1,439 posts

Posted November 05 2010 - 01:57 PM

Do you leave your cat alone during the day? It might be aerobising while you are gone working off the fat and calories you worked so hard to beef it up with.
Posted Image

#18 Lostthoughts

Lostthoughts

    Thostloughts

  • Members
  • 2,000 posts

Posted November 05 2010 - 01:59 PM

Thank god for some advice instead of being a doucher. Id give you rep, but apparently I cant.. Freezers are cold though, I don't want him to freeze to death (see I care so go fuck yourselves once more) I obviously want him to fatten up before he becomes frozen. I don't want to eat a semi-fat cat. Will my pantry work?


hmm.. It depends on what food is in your pantry, but assuming its mostly caned goods and things in boxes (very difficult for cats to open, especialy in the dark) it probably wouldnt do any good.

I think your cat would probably be fine in the freezer (you must be forgetting that cats have fur coats designed for this very thing) but if youre too worried about it, the refrigerator is probably a good option.
Pay no attention to the motherfucker behind the curtain.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

#19 Meliai

Meliai

    shit

  • Members
  • 7,619 posts

Posted November 05 2010 - 01:59 PM

old cats lose the ability to recognize when they are full so they keep eating. You need to lose the kittens, get a cat thats at least 9 or 10 years old, and keep its food bowl full all the time.
I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love - J.R.R Tolkien

#20 squibbles

squibbles

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 405 posts

Posted November 05 2010 - 02:00 PM

I do leave him alone, but I tape up her paws realllll good first, makes her flap them like a birds wings. Is that making her burn to many calories?
All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then you're all you motherfucks are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob

#21 idioticnumbskull

idioticnumbskull

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 806 posts

Posted November 05 2010 - 02:04 PM

Of course they are. You out of anyone should know this... rumor has it you have the fattest cats around..


You sir have insulted my honor (glove slap)

#22 squibbles

squibbles

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 405 posts

Posted November 05 2010 - 02:08 PM

^gtfo newb!
All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then you're all you motherfucks are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob

#23 psychedelicg1rl

psychedelicg1rl

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 853 posts

Posted November 05 2010 - 02:14 PM

I dont know, My favorite cat was fat. I didnt make her that way though. LOL she just was fat.

#24 idioticnumbskull

idioticnumbskull

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 806 posts

Posted November 05 2010 - 02:15 PM

Your not calling me newb are you?

#25 squibbles

squibbles

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 405 posts

Posted November 05 2010 - 02:20 PM

Your not calling me newb are you?


Nooooo I wouldn't do that. atleast not in the sense your thinking of.. unless you were thinking of Never Ever Weiner Biting
All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then you're all you motherfucks are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob

#26 squibbles

squibbles

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 405 posts

Posted November 05 2010 - 02:21 PM

I dont know, My favorite cat was fat. I didnt make her that way though. LOL she just was fat.


Now your coming around..
All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then you're all you motherfucks are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob

#27 Spicey Cat

Spicey Cat

    DMT Witch (says husband)

  • Members
  • 2,071 posts

Posted November 05 2010 - 02:30 PM

I'm so sorry you want your cat to die young, but at least she'll be full. Forget the human food. Invest in kitty treats and get her to eat just dry food - wet food is like 82% water whereas the dry is full of crap like corn that cats cannot digest - they routinely eat too much.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

"But even if nothing lasts and everything is lost, there is still the intrinsic value of the moment. The present moment, ultimately, is more than enough, a gift of grace and unfathomable value, which our friend and lover death paints in stark relief."

-Rick Doblin, Ph.D. MAPS President
MAPS Bulletin Vol. XX, No. 1, pg. 2

#28 orison319

orison319

    my dog is full of stars

  • Super Moderator
  • 55,427 posts
  • LocationSquirrel Hill Penisylvania

Posted November 05 2010 - 02:53 PM

it got to be one them cats that genetically prone to fat.. I know people that leave cats dish full all the time,. they have skinny cats... Mcdonalds chicken nuggets is was the cat needs...


Posted Image

You guard your hopes

you pocket your dreams
You'd trade it all to
avoid an unpleasant scene


#29 lynzxx

lynzxx

    Senior Member

  • Members
  • 4,052 posts
  • LocationIreland

Posted November 05 2010 - 03:03 PM

i think this is stupid.. sorry i know you dont want whiners... but yeah.. stupid.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

"and if you crave it, then you know that you are injured":sunny:

#30 squibbles

squibbles

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 405 posts

Posted November 05 2010 - 03:09 PM

...your stupid
All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then you're all you motherfucks are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob