Did becoming homosexual/bisexual change you?

Clearly, being gay did NOT in itself, change me. I have been always gay (and bi for some ten years). It is like having blue eyes. I have had them from the very beginning.

I have always opposed the idea of coming out and seeking any sort of validation coming from my environment. All the people who needed to know, knew. And those who needed to be told to mind their own business, got that very loud and clear, too. So, since I never felt the need to come out that bit never changed anything in my life either.

However, living a gay life did change quite a few things.

I have a network of gay friends who share with me more than just their love for stamp collecting and baseball.

I am a DINK, and boy, don't I just love it?

I was growing up knowing very well that my sexual orientation may be used against me. I knew that I was most likely going to be discriminated against due to my sexual orientation. That bit did change EVERYTHING. I wasted no time on idle living. I was acing the exams as if my life depended on them. By the age of 20, I was actually quadrilingual and going for more. I held two good, serious side jobs and I was taking my career very seriously. Yup, I was beefing up my defenses using all the resources at hand.

Luckily, (or by the virtue of the theory that it never rains when you take an umbrella with you), I have never been really discriminated against. It takes a considerable courage to take it up with a big guy who may speak very softly but who still carries a big stick.

By that same token, quite a few other things in life did NOT pan out the way they were supposed to. My resources, skills, knowledge and formal qualifications kicked in very nicely and I was soon out of the woods. I would have been in deep, deep trouble these days, if I did not spend all that time arming up for a conflict that never materialized.

KD

 

Once I accepted that i was bi i became very proud of the fact. Still am.....


Simon

 

yes it made me gentler esp towards men

 

?????The becoming Homosexual, I accepted being Homosexual, I started putting on feminine stockings lingerie in my preteens that alone is not gay but my desires to see my guy friends in school naked and wanting to touch them,, I lived with the desires struggles,, for so many years,, dating not as successful as my male friends but I married a girl we had a good sex life with two kids now grown but my dressing grew she hated it and I kept it private as my bisexual life but still not enough to make me fulfilled sexually,, so later in life our sexual relationship ended and I accepted and the first change came for me the choosing to be gay and only have sex with men,, I did not change the way I felt for friends family but making me happy sexually, the only changes were coming out to my wife and kids the struggles with them accepting me and a few friends with more as time goes along I still am not changed just my choice and action sexually with other men only.. the other changes were with people and how they accept me or not accept me..

 

I started out in 1992 (at 30) as bicurious, after the woman that I was going to marry broke up with me, and did eventually start having oral sex with guys, but always anonymously in different sex venues like bathhouses. But even though my gay fantasies were really strong, and I super enjoyed a lot of gay porn, in real life I usually lost all the passionate desire when I was actually naked with another guy. But at home all the gay fantasies and love of gay porn came back powerfully, driving me out to look for more cock, just to be disappointed again in my losing the gay desire with the real guy. But there were a few very hot, passionate exceptions, so I kept chasing those experiences. But they were rare. So I considered myself bi-confused.

But one day in 2013 I met a guy in a bathhouse who I was strongly sexually attracted to, especially his ass, the first time in real life for me. I made love to that ass for over an hour with my tongue before finally inserting my cock and fucking my first guy. That's what changed everything for me. That experience moved me so much that I realized I was definitely bisexual, and threw that biconfused label out completely. Really, I was coming out to myself, and finally accepting my bisexuality, which was probably always there. Something changed inside me. I was overjoyed in accepting that I was bisexual, and really capable of loving a guy, at least sexually. That acceptance then changed me, giving me so much more confidence in not just sex but in life. And for the first time I went on gay hook up sites and started seeing real guys in each other's homes, enjoying sex with them (oral and some intense rimming). I even started going out on dinner dates with other men, and seeing a guy more than once!

But I've regressed a bit. In 2016 I met a woman and fell in love, so I stopped having sex with men and stayed faithful to her for the three years that we were together--except online (there was still some gay porn and chatting with guys online, so I guess I was not actually fully faithful to her, which she found out about, and became more and more unhappy about). But I came out to her about my same-sex activities very early in our relationship (before we had sex), and although she accepted it then, over the years she was finding it more and more difficult, especially because the online stuff still happened at times. One or more friends recently also found out, and I will have to see how that pans out. So now I'm feeling some shame, and some confusion again.

The relationship with my girlfriend just ended, so I will have to see what happens to my sex life. I'm definitely fantasizing again about going on dating sites to hook up with men again, and it makes me hard to think about that. What I'm hoping for is that if I get back into the scene, having sex with guys, maybe I'll get that clarity back again, especially if more intercourse is involved, giving, and receiving (virgin territory). Fucking I think is a key for me, really connecting with a man, and consequently with myself. In fact, someone online recently told me that I'm actually probably gay, but something deep inside me can't accept it, which is why I so often lose the passionate desire when I get naked with a real guy. I don't know if that is true, because I've always been very attracted to women, and certainly loved sex with my girlfriend. But who knows, there may be some truth in there. I know the key for me is just accepting my sexuality, whatever it is, truly accepting it, at a deep level, and letting that then shine forth in all that I do in life.

Jack

 

I started out as straight and I suppose I had some some very small bisexual thoughts in my teens. Once I got a computer in my mid twenties I started having occasional cyber encounters with guys but was disgusted afterwards. Similarly with gay fantasies while masturbating. I never considered myself bi, let alone gay. It was just my hormones a little off kilter when my cock was hard. And the disgust was always there when I came. However, once I told my wife I sometimes fantasized about men, it really did change things for me. She got really turned on and we started including gay encounters in our fantasies. And I stopped feeling guilty. After a gay induced cum I would just think "mmm... that felt good". I started thinking about men a little more often and also starting thinking about men right off the bat. I stopped thinking about women a few years ago. I still find women attractive but no interest in fucking them. The only time I touch, lick, or fuck my wife's pussy is when she asks me, which is rarely. She much prefers it in the ass and I oblige regularly but fantasize about a man while doing it. Otherwise, for all intents and purposes, I consider myself gay. Ultimately, I want to find a gay lover and stop fucking my wife. I definitely "became" gay and I love it. I feel very liberated and look forward to a gay future.

 

Not really; I struggled a lot with my sexuality for years before I accepted that I was bisexual.

I was already struggling with a lot of problems regarding my identity and other issues; so if anything it brought me a little peace. I also thought I was gay since I was little but I was also confused because I was attracted to both sexes, so it was nice knowing that I didn’t have to fit into the black and white box of being ‘gay’ or ‘straight’.

If we’re talking about negative impacts on life, I would say that for me I pretty much try to hide it from most people because of the stigma of being queer. We live in times of acceptance and diversity of sexual orientation among other things, but I still struggle with certain people knowing about it. Also I’m married and so I don’t necessarily need to ‘come out’ to everyone.

 

Becoming bisexual gave me more choices when dating...

 

It didn’t result in major changes in my life other than the times where I dated other men and kept it under wraps from my friends. In this sense it would have impacted my life in that I was essentially living a lie in some circumstances...then again I struggled a lot with my sexuality and for years thought I was gay, and even coming to terms with my orientation in my late teens I had always hid this quality from others, anyway.

 

I agree, I'm Bisexual, I was born liking spending time with boys and men more than girls and women.

 

I don't think I suddenly "became" bisexual. I was always aware of being attracted to good looking male bodies. I just finally figured it out and accepted it. Nothing really changed.....except I like gay sex too now without the guilt.

 

I definitely "became" bisexual. It had not even entered my mind before I was seduced by a man. I had been conditioned to be totally straight.

But then, this pudgy man came along, and in one night I learned that we men have a lot we can give each other, in addition to our relationships with women.

That happened early in my life, and I never regretted shedding my societal conditioning. I discovered a part of myself that brought me closer to humans in general-- men, women, and people who seem to fall between those two gender categories. In fact, I ended up recognizing that I had both masculine and feminine characteristics.

 

I kept my bisexuality hidden from my first wife of 25 years and struggled with feelings of guilt the entire time. With my present wife I was open with her and she understood and has accepted it so I no longer have any feelings of guilt. She finds it to be very erotic to suck cock with me or witness me being fucked in the ass while I'm on top of her 69 position.

The change within myself was how I felt about what I was doing. Once I had a partner who also accepted it everything became normal.
IMO you don't turn into something, you've always been that way and just need an environment of acceptance in order to free those traits inside you.

 

Of course it changed me. And continues to do so. For the most part it’s been all positive changes. But my bisexual journey is still growing.

 

If you had told me I would be crazy in love with someone with a cock, I would never have believed you. If you had told me I would be deliriously happy as her bottom, I would have thought you were truly delusional. But here we are and life is great.

 

I would say yes. It opened my eyes to a lot of opportunities. I'm more happier now that I have accepted being bi then before. It's like I can finally breath and not question myself. I accepted it after high school. And no one really knows which is fine. If I get asked. I'll answer honestly.

 

I was the same way. Disgusted with myself after cumming from gay fantasies. Once I came out to my very accepting (and encouraging) wife I no longer felt guilty and enjoyed the afterglow. The more I realized I enjoyed it, the more I did it. I finally threw off the shackles of heterosexuality and embraced homosexuality about 2 years ago. I have a bucket list to go through but for now, having an orgasm while watching gay porn, reading gay literotica, or just fantasizing about being with another man, is better than any straight orgasm I ever had.

 

I've slept with 4 guys. I slept with one guy last year for several months. We plan on picking up where we left off. My wife figured it out. So I came clean. And she accepted it. She told me to have fun but to be very careful. Which I am. Once you experience it. You'll want to keep doing it. It's a lot of fun. No one gets hurt. No one gets pregnant. Obviously lol. I also get tested every year.

 

Thank God for wives like ours. I have done a little bit of playing around with guys. She knew beforehand that I was going to meet them. She dirty talks about me fucking men and wants to watch me fuck a guy.

 

No it didn't change me as far as how I feel about myself, but it made me understand and accept something that was inside me from a very young age that I always suppressed even though it was a desirable fantasy.

I remember, I was reading some erotica short stories...and I came across one where the author was recounting an experience he had with a trans woman. The story was so incredibly detailed that I was beginning to picture his thoughts in my own mind. By the time the story was over, I had my hand in my pants, massaging myself. At that time...I was still a pre-programmed heterosexual who had only had sex with women.
I was so turned on by that story, I started looking for more stories of sex with TS women. Then...I saw some TS porn...and I became fascinated with the idea of becoming face to face with another cock. I suppressed these thoughts for years...until I made the decision to make my fantasies a reality. I sucked my first cock, I fucked someone who had a cock just like I did...but she was a she.

My first man...I found in a personals ad.
He was a young latin Twink and I'll never forget...he posted pictures of his smooth bubble butt and I almost started salivating. I contacted him and the next day, I was in his bed.

Once I made the decision to stop suppressing my innermost thoughts and desires...and starting having sex with not only just women, but to also include trans women and then finally other men...I just accepted that I no longer needed to force heterosexual normalities on myself and I was able to fully explore my bisexuality.
It hasn't changed anything in my life except open up the doors to a much more abundant and broader field of potential sexual experiences.

I came to realize that sex is just...sex!
The sharing or the giving and receiving of pleasure between two consenting adults who have a desire for each other. I gave up the thought of sex having to be strictly between a man and a woman...and now I just enjoy sex with...people.