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Cumming too early during sex


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#1 caboy

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Posted May 23 2009 - 08:20 AM

All, how to you control my erection during sex. I get hard quick while cuddling with my gf and when I first put my condom on and fuck her within 1-2mins I cum just like that. I can't last longer then that. Is there any techniques to handle it?

I wonder if she thinks I suck on it too.

Ladies how you feel if your man cum so quick before he didn't even pleasure you at all. Let me know...I wonder what would my gf thinks.

#2 sebbie

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Posted May 30 2009 - 01:59 PM

Hey,

Cumming early during sex is one of them things that a lot of guys are concious about. There can be several causes physical and mental. A huge cause of it can be over excitement i think though.

Try masterbating before you see your girl,that can help you last longer ;)

Also lots of foreplay can help to make sex seem longer, also if you get a girl equally excited she will cum faster to.

#3 ChangeHappens

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Posted June 03 2009 - 10:50 AM

Let her take it. Most girls focus on giving. Before you get going, tell her to take it and give it hard. You know what I mean, dont bring it to physical things, its a spiritual thing.

#4 seizedbyanger

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Posted June 03 2009 - 10:51 AM

try to think of something other than sex while you're in the process. something that will keep you from getting off, but not kill your erection all together.

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#5 evolove

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Posted June 11 2009 - 07:08 PM

There are a number of techniques people use. You can remove yourself from the situation by thinking of other things, which can be helpful, but also detracts from the experience. You can learn different kinds of physical practices, flexing certain muscles, placing pressure on certain points. Apparently these are effective, however, I've not given them much time. I prefer another method which is to fully put oneself into the experience, make it a full body/mind experience, not something so focused on your genitals. As you spread out your awareness, feeling and perception, while deepening it in all areas, all sensations. This can make the whole experience more pleasurable, spreading out the pleasure so it don't build up as easily in one area. To aid in this approach the breath is very important, full deep breathing down into your lower abdomen.

One thing that might help a great deal is to talk openly with your girlfriend, she might not mind at all. Also, one thing she would appreciate a great deal is foreplay. If you spend 20 minutes in foreplay, then only last another 1 or 2, the experience will be far greater for both of you. A good thing can be to make sure she has already cum at least once before you do.

Don't get down on yourself, totally normal. Do some research for yourself, you can learn from books or find a real life teacher, with some work it is possible to last for many hours. And your girlfriend might like to help, it could be fun and expand the whole experience for each of you.

#6 Jimmy P

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Posted June 12 2009 - 12:59 AM

First of all, if you wonder what she thinks, ask her.

Try to fuck her slowly. Are you jackhammering away? Not everyone can do that and not blow their load quickly.

Have her get on top. Her pace will likely be slower than yours, and it'll allow her to please herself before she lets you have your way with her.

Spreading out your awareness, like evolove says, is a great idea. So is jerking off before you see her. And if you're still cumming in a couple minutes, surely you're able to go again relatively quickly and last longer?

#7 hatebreeder666

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Posted June 12 2009 - 09:59 PM

just jack off b4 period. two or three times.

#8 Archemetis

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Posted June 13 2009 - 12:56 PM

the jack off first responces i think are probably a bad idea. i think the reason alot of men shoot fast stems from years of conditioning through masterbation. nothing wrong with masterbation, but when you do masterbate, try taking it slow, really make love to yourself. tune into your body and take time to feel every sensation as it arises, when you get close to ejaculating, breath deep, and pause for a moment.

really getting to know your body is huge, especially breath. breathe deep and slow.
take your time man, theres no hurry
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#9 Kurplunk

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Posted June 16 2009 - 06:33 PM

the jack off first responces i think are probably a bad idea. i think the reason alot of men shoot fast stems from years of conditioning through masterbation. nothing wrong with masterbation, but when you do masterbate, try taking it slow, really make love to yourself. tune into your body and take time to feel every sensation as it arises, when you get close to ejaculating, breath deep, and pause for a moment.

really getting to know your body is huge, especially breath. breathe deep and slow.
take your time man, theres no hurry


I had to do that for about a month before I recovered from my constant "quickies" with myself. another thing that helps: kegel muscles. learn about them, work them, practice with yourself.

#10 Cplustoner

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Posted June 21 2009 - 10:36 AM

man, i wish i had the same problem as you. i just lost my virginity 3 days ago and have had sex 3 times. when im with my gf and were well...yeah...she always cums first and i just cant seem to get to that point. i can almost cum but the sex needs to be just a little bit rougher haha :p. but we can never have really rough sex cuz sum1 is always home at my house so we gotta kinda keep quiet haha. Im hoping today she can come over while everyones out. but man at least u can cum, i just wish i had ur problem lol cuz my gf cums fast anyways 3-7 mins of fucking.:cool:

#11 neonspectraltoast

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Posted June 22 2009 - 11:46 AM

Just be thankful you can cum at all.

#12 ChangeHappens

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Posted June 22 2009 - 03:35 PM

You probally have this thing because of the way you were taught about the mind, where you focus on the attempt to not focus on cumming and by doing so you bring into focus all the things associate with cumming. So your mind starts thinking boobs, pussies, ass. The reason this is is because the mind doesnt understand "NO". It it like a computer and the thoughts are like disks. You cant put a hot porno of a girl on girl and say, NO girl on girl, computer, NO. The computer is not a person, they do not understand anything, they make things happen. So if you try and NOT FOCUS on the sex, all the mind reacts about, is The sex, the sex, the sex. Instead say like ketchup, good food, good food, love love love...etc etc. OR pick out an imperfection from the girl and focus on how you cant like it. Obviously squeeze hard, down there, in times where you loose focus, use it sparringly.

#13 dislexic

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Posted June 25 2009 - 12:40 PM

i used to have this same problem, but now after certain mental and physical exercises i now have full control over when i can cum weather it be in 3 mins or 3 hours. The first thing is is to not worry about cuming to soon this will create anxiety on the topic and you will be tense and in turn cum way sooner. Secondly stay positive tell yourself you are a sex machine and can give any women multiple orgasms.

The physical techniques are very simple. The first one is simply flexing the muscle between your ass whole and your balls aka the gooch lol. Flex it for 10 seconds at a time and sets of ten, this will improve stamina within a week. The second physical technique involes masturbation, simple beat yourself off hard and i mean hard as fuck with no lube, this will temporarily desensitize your dick and it will be much easier to control yourself when in action, but dont worry it is only temporary but by the time your dick is back to normal sensitivity you will already have the confidence and experience to last as long as you want.

Pm me if u have any other questions i would be happy to help

#14 mattpenn

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Posted August 19 2009 - 09:13 PM

There are exercises called Kegels that can help build ejaculatory control. Just search google and you will come with how to do them.

#15 TheMagneticHeadache

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Posted August 19 2009 - 09:44 PM

If you have good stamina, just make sure you whack off earlier that day. Or fuck her for a minute or two, pull out and shoot the goo, then put it back in for round 2. Hey that rhymed.

#16 shiva_master

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Posted August 31 2009 - 07:34 AM

Sometimes i get off to early to where my girl does not get to. Then again sometimes it takes forever. I agree with the mental part but sometimes your body has a mind of it's own.
Sometimes when my body feels like it wont last long, i take a couple of my pain killers. Seems to do the trick when needed. Or ya, whack off. It works at times.
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#17 Twizz

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Posted September 01 2009 - 08:54 PM

I think the much easier solution that nobody has even thought of is to give your girlfriend oral or something if you cum too soon. Do it before or after, but both would be best.

There's also some shit you can buy at the Stag Shop (and likely drug stores as well) that is a topical kinda shit and you can rub it into the tip of your dick and it numbs it so you take longer to cum. BUT make sure you read the label and shit cuz the chick at the Stag Shop was telling me that another guy came in and bought it then put it on his dick...






then his gf gave him head and her whole mouth area went numb.

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#18 scatteredleaves

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Posted September 06 2009 - 04:15 PM

I think the much easier solution that nobody has even thought of is to give your girlfriend oral or something if you cum too soon.


umm, yeah!
i would be seriously pissed if my guy always came in 2 minutes and then didnt do anything to please me.
give her oral beforehand and either make her come or get her really close before fucking.
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#19 smaisdad

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Posted September 06 2009 - 06:34 PM

Bust one before as part of foreplay. You can try thinking of other things but the best solution will be to de-sensitize yourself....been there done that many years ago.

#20 TheAbominableIronSloth

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Posted September 06 2009 - 06:43 PM

If you have the stamina, take 5 and then fuck again. The second one could last for hours. She'll think you're the king of sex. Or, just masturbate 10 minutes before the action.

#21 robf

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Posted September 08 2009 - 05:50 AM

if you can during foreplay.... make her cum first.... then there is no hangs up on how long you last...
take a breather and off you go again, second one and other ones will last longer....
everybody is a winner then :)

#22 Musikero

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Posted September 10 2009 - 08:48 PM

And if you still orgasm before she does, then finger and lick her until she does.

#23 demetrius shardson

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Posted February 08 2010 - 08:27 AM

the jack off first responces i think are probably a bad idea. i think the reason alot of men shoot fast stems from years of conditioning through masterbation. nothing wrong with masterbation, but when you do masterbate, try taking it slow, really make love to yourself. tune into your body and take time to feel every sensation as it arises, when you get close to ejaculating, breath deep, and pause for a moment.

really getting to know your body is huge, especially breath. breathe deep and slow.
take your time man, theres no hurry



ding ding ding i first discovered this when i got released from jail last year no sex or masturbation in months. i was expecting to climb into bed and pop one off but to my surprise i put it down like something for porno. buttt i love masturbation and have ever since i could but with that newly discovered bit of information its something i have drastically cut back on. and as for masturbating before YMMV but for me its like walking in with a loaded gun.... its like by masturbating you are decreasing your need for certain stimuli to get off if that makes any sense

#24 hatebreeder666

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Posted April 08 2010 - 06:17 PM

prison sucks....

#25 ThatGuyWeede

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Posted April 08 2010 - 06:31 PM

Personally j/o beforehand never worked for me. Lots of good suggestions but this is what worked for me. When you start having sex, don't try to do 10,000 thrusts a minute. Slow down to a comfortable pace and (even though everyone has pretty much said the opposite) focus on how you feel. When you start to get to a point where you're going to cum, stop. Stop everything. Don't try to pull out or wiggle your toe or anyhting, just freeze and let that 'im gonna blow' feeling subside. After you feel like you're back in control, start again, slowly.

Do this several times until you get a good feel for it. Basically for me, after the 3rd or 4th time, i didn't feel like I needed to blow so much and was able to sit back, relax, and do my thing. I'd suggest trying what's been suggested and figure out what works for you. And of course you could tell your gf what's going on, and that you want to work on it to eventually please her if she has any problems with you starting and stopping. Hope you figure it out

#26 deeRock

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Posted April 28 2010 - 09:06 PM

Jerkin it before you go will make you last longer.... IF you can get it up and be good and hard and intense... Thats my problems with getting off before you go to get off. once im done, im pretty well done and lose interest. It really upsets her when im not interested...

#27 deeRock

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Posted April 28 2010 - 09:08 PM

Personally j/o beforehand never worked for me. Lots of good suggestions but this is what worked for me. When you start having sex, don't try to do 10,000 thrusts a minute. Slow down to a comfortable pace and (even though everyone has pretty much said the opposite) focus on how you feel. When you start to get to a point where you're going to cum, stop. Stop everything. Don't try to pull out or wiggle your toe or anyhting, just freeze and let that 'im gonna blow' feeling subside. After you feel like you're back in control, start again, slowly.

Do this several times until you get a good feel for it. Basically for me, after the 3rd or 4th time, i didn't feel like I needed to blow so much and was able to sit back, relax, and do my thing. I'd suggest trying what's been suggested and figure out what works for you. And of course you could tell your gf what's going on, and that you want to work on it to eventually please her if she has any problems with you starting and stopping. Hope you figure it out

I agree. Been with mine for 4 years... Its funny when I tell her to stop or i stop giving it to her and she tells me not to stop b/c that just makes it worse haha! When she says she wants it, it just turns me on that much more lol

#28 SebastianCrab

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Posted May 10 2010 - 01:37 AM

These early cumming is also called as premature ejaculation and many of the youths of present generation face these problem. There are many remedies available in the market for these issue, right from generic medication till many physical remedies that can help you last longer during sex. Today I am in hurry so cant tell you in detail. Will soon be back with the reasons for these unsatisfied sex as well as ejaculation in detail.

#29 machinist

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Posted May 17 2010 - 06:00 PM

this is what you do: beat your meat like it owes you money for the preceding days. then the day you're gonna have sex eat viagra.

#30 rygoody

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Posted May 18 2010 - 01:56 AM

getting off too quick is way better than not being able to get off at all... or even erectile dysfunction

take advantage of your heightened sensitivity while you have! eventually it'll take you longer to finish it