Casual Family Nudity

Discussion in 'Bare It! Nudism and Naturism' started by Elaine555, Apr 18, 2009.

  1. Noic75

    Noic75 Member

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    I think he probable fears an erection. I grew up in a nudist environment, and when I was his age the thought of getting an erection scared me to death.
     
  2. tonynaturalist

    tonynaturalist Member

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    Hi Elaine55. Well I understand all that. The boy needs a lot of support because the fem environment around him. De-stressing I understand since I do same. No better pill than being nude and do what you like. Sex is important and your older daughter eventually will have to get used to it "before" marriage. Otherwise she can ruin someone's life if she never end up liking it. Other than that you environment at home looks fine. Keep talking to the boy and let us know. Physical changes in him can also give him stress ... specially if he feel "he is too small or too large" when compared to his peers. Its important too that he spend sometime with his father both totally nude so he can get some reassurance that he will be like dad. I use to take showers with dad very often and he and I were very similar so that gave me a lot of confort at that age. Today I dont care anymore. I just care about how I feel. Nudism is a tranquilizer pill for me ...my wife and I go to the local nudist beach (legally approved beach) and enjoy the day there very much. We also have friends. We both are of European ancestors and there is no issue. Here in America we tend to associate nudity with sex a lot. As a matter of fact more than 60% of newbies in nudist resorts, clubs and beaches are looking for sex. Most people go there for the thrill of looking at naked people. Some get converted to true nudists others never come back. Also there are many swingers in these groups and all they want is to score. Its a shame that people think that way. Pure nudity is no sin and natural. Sex is a private matter and it can or cannot happen if we want or not ... like in every day life. Keep us informed on your son progress.
     
  3. bft4evr

    bft4evr Senior Member

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    Hi Elaine, by all means talk to your son. Communication is the key. But keep in mind what you are trying to accomplish. You want to know why your son has become more modest, just don't let him get the idea you are pressuring him into nudity. You need to be as accepting of his modesty as you are of your daughter's nudity.
    Perhaps he'd like an alternative to his shorts, a way to be somewhat modest yet still wear less. A loincloth, thong, or g-string could do the trick. Perhaps if your husband were to wear one of those items your son might feel more comfortable baring more.
    At any rate good luck and let us know how it goes.
     
  4. nldn

    nldn Senior Member

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    I agree about being respectful of his modesty, and think you've done the right thing by making clear boundaries.
     
  5. Elaine555

    Elaine555 Member

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    Okay, I finally had the talk with my son. What he said totally blindsided me - I was not ready for his answer.

    He was alone in his room. I put on my bathrobe, knocked and entered his room. He was totally naked, doing his homework. That didn't surprise me, I knew he spent his time in his room naked - he only dressed when he came out. He made no effort to cover up, he is comfortable with me seeing him nude. He was surprised I had my robe on, but I told him I was feeling a little chilly!

    I gave him the talk - told him there's nothing to be ashamed of in an erection and so on. He said he wasn't worried about that - both his sisters have seen him with erections and he didn't mind. What he was worried about was the "shrinkage"! He said normally it is about 4 inches, but sometimes it gets so small - less than 2 inches - that he is embarrassed to be around his sisters. He said he didn't even know why it happens. He can't control it and it goes from normal to hard to shrunk in just minutes. I didn't even know that was a problem for boys.

    I told him that was also perfectly normal and I've seen it with his father (tho' I really haven't). But I don't think I convinced him. I have no idea if that is normal.
    ---
     
  6. Barefoot Matthew

    Barefoot Matthew Member

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    It's perfectly normal, and as many men can attest "shrinkage" can very well be a source of tremendous embarrassment (the Seinfeld joke wasn't just concocted for laughs!). In that case, I sympathize with your son's feelings because I am also "anatomically diverse" down there.

    I would probably suggest asking his father to explain to him that it's normal for many boys and men, even grown ups and that it's nothing to be ashamed of. Men are either "growers" or "showers"... as he becomes a man and starts to wonder what his body will look like, it's natural to start comparing himself on things like size, etc. because of the pressure men sometimes put in place around it. It's one of the more awful things that we do to ourselves, IMO, to put so much emphasis on only one facet of our anatomy, but there it is. If he fears being "too small" sometimes, the best you can do is just help him understand that even if it does "shrink" it's still a part of his body and it's just doing what it's supposed to be doing!
     
  7. tonynaturalist

    tonynaturalist Member

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    Elaine555, well i was suspicious of that. I went thru the same at that age. However I related to my father whose penis also shrunk from time to time specially after a cold shower or a chilli day. Testicle sac also goes long and short to keep the temperature of the testes as constant as possible. So it is NO BIG deal. Just have to learn how to manage that. Besides nobody is going to like him less (or more) because of the "temporary" shrinkage of his penis.
    I imagine that when erect he must have an average size as his peers ... and size is not critical at all. So glad you got to the bottom of the issue. But keep close because another question is going to arise and can make him shy again. Have his sisters acknowledge in some way or form that the shrinkage is no big deal ...and should not make a joke at that. Good luck.
     
  8. Elaine555

    Elaine555 Member

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    I'll take you guys word for it, having no personal experience on the subject of "shrinkage".

    Tony: How would I go about having his sisters acknowledge that shrinkage is no big deal? I can talk to them, but if they spoke to their brother about it, he might become even more shy.

    Matthew: His father has spoken with him and they have even showered together. But his father has never shown his penis to the girls except when he is in the bathroom and one of the girls barge in. So I am not sure his father can reassure him anymore.

    To the men out there: If you and a girl (sister, wife, girlfriend, whatever) were naked together, and the girl makes a suggestive move (crossing a leg or bending, or touching you) and your penis starts shrinking, would you be embarrassed? Would you think you have insulted the girl?

    To the women out there: In the above scenario, would you take the man's shrinkage as an insult or offense? Would you think that the man doesn't think much of your body?

    I think I need answers to these questions before I talk to the my son again.
    ---
     
  9. tonynaturalist

    tonynaturalist Member

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    Elaine555: I understood the problem as "shrinkage" in a given moment. I did not think the shrikage occurring during a moment of girls making suggestive moves or touching. If that happens then the person(boy) is afraid of something more happening and his brain disconnect. Male genitals are complex organs ... during an erection or semi-hard condition the blood flow to the cells in the structure of the penis "stop". That is how the erection occurs. That is why an erection cannot last more than certain reasonable time. The flow of blood must be restablished. So long erections are not healthy for the penis cells. They dont get so much oxygen. So after an erection or a semi-hard condition ... a soft period has to happen.
    Tell him size means nothing when not erect. A he should quit being so self councious. On the subject of girls talking to him ... well its a sensitive one. But they can bring up the subject one day and talk abt the shrinkage being not important. If your son experience shrikage when he gets sexualy excited then that is another issue. I do not believe this is the case. Your daughters should be briefed IN PRIVATE ...and without him present on the findings you have had. Then you have to aske them not to bring up the subject in a rough or kidding manner. They have to wait until the day they can have a serious conversations about genitals or sex or something related to "softly" bring the issue ... and make an statement to him that shirnkage or erections are normal for them and should no be of problem. Being him the "little" brother makes them think he is a kid when he now is begginign to grow up and is out of that kid age range. You can create the ambiance one day to talk abt those sensitive subjects. You can say ..being nudists we must talk about changes from time to time ..because youa re growing up and getting more and more into adult lifestyles ..specially the sex part of it ...and then bring several pending issues. In my family we do that from time to time and proves to be great. Everybody is well informed and no complaints or backfires. My wife and I take the subjects very seriously and try to explain abt HIV, AIDS, Birth Control methods ...we even talk about our own experiences at their age ... and bring the issues on a soft manner. Their is a lot to talk about on that subject ..that the majority of families dont talk because its Taboo. Also be careful because "incest" can happen and you dont want to open that door. I know abt families in other cultures who allow these things to happen. Have to be extra careful.
    Let us know how it goes.
     
  10. pathostpe

    pathostpe Member

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    I feel for him. I grew up in a very open household. I am also very sexually open and confortable. A male will grow and shrink with just about any thought or external stimuli. I understand how he feels. I am 45 and on many meds. I have issues with shrinkage and still after being married for 24 years get embarrased at times. One way to bring the issue up for conversation would be to address someones body outside the family. On a movie, the internet, or any other area that is open in the family. DO NOT address him directly unless he leaves the door open. Bringing something like this up in front of his sisters without his readiness, in front of him, could really cause him issues. He will probably be more comfortable later if left alone.

    As for your oldest daughter being as open in the house, congrats to you and your husband. It is good that those in the family can be that comfortable. It seems like your house is open to be open when things are "okay". Being just as comfortable and open about ones self with the whole family at once is a little harder. It is good that your family can talk openly to each other when your comfortable with yourself is very healthy and sounds like your family does it. But, being open with family when your not sure about yourself sounds like it may still be hard with the kids. That sounds like an area to grow in.
     
  11. Elaine555

    Elaine555 Member

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    Tony, you said to be careful that "incest" doesn't happen. If by incest, you mean sex between siblings, I can safely say there is no chance of that. My older daughter has no interest in it, and my younger daughter is too active sexually with her boyfriend to show any interest in her brother.

    I don't interpret incest to mean hugging, touching and kissing. There is a lot of that in my family between all of us, even when nude. We don't consider any parts of our body taboo.

    To all: I started posting to this group hoping there will be a lot of participation from like minded naturist families. But looks like there is not. There are a lot of views (more than 1000) but seems to be most of them are lurking looking for thrills. If that is the case, I'm not interest in sharing my family life with this forum, and will look for other forums where I can find families that share our interest in "shame free" living.
    ---
     
  12. Alexandra

    Alexandra Member

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    Is it just me, or this talk of penis sizes and "de-stressing" from someone 'living in the middle of nowhere' sounds a touch creepy? You know, the "inbred redneck family" kind of creepy?

    I also suspect Elaine is yet another fake. Good try though.
     
    Hykes likes this.
  13. mzmzmz

    mzmzmz Member

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    Its hard to avoid the 'thrill seekers' online. The anonymity just begs them to go out and get what they want without worrying about being perverts. Just a word of advice.
     
  14. tonynaturalist

    tonynaturalist Member

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    (Elaine555) I didnt' mean that your kids were in that route. I refer more to the fact that you must be supportive of their openness for the right reasons. Not having any part of the body being Taboo is great. I believe that you are showing that there can be a nudist family environment without the typical tensions and worries we have about being naked in front of each other and carry a natural lifestyle. I look forward to you bringing up more and more nude family activity so we can learn and share experiences.

    When I was young we were very open ..although must admit that not as open as you are in your family. We slept nude, roamed the house nude, went to nude resorts/clubs, etc. but never were extremely closed to each other like hugging a lot or touching a lot.
    Just the normal. As far as movies was concerned we had no censure. My parents used to comment the + or - of the movie and let us know their open opinions. We could bring friends to the house but had to ask for permision from their parents and dislose our family nude envirnoment. Some never came because their parents thought we were wierdos ...others (the majority - abt 65%) came in in a look-and-see visit at first to get familiar with the lifestyle. About 5 families jointed us at a later time and explored the nudist lifestyle and became adepts. So we discovered there are many families that do not object to the lifestyle but never had it so close that they could try and find out in real life if they liked it.

    Look forward to more of your comments and questions.

    In my direct case I grew up my kids being nudists but as soon as they got "textile" friends they gradually abandoned the lifestyle. They still do it with us ..but prefer to hang out with textile friends. Its something we cannot understand.
     
  15. pathostpe

    pathostpe Member

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    (Elaine555) I hope my post didn't offend you. I related so much with your situation that is why I joined the group myself. Our family growing up was quite as functional as yours but we were pretty open in our relationships and that has carried on to my kids. I only have one child out of the 5 that has decided not to follow our lifestyle in his own house but that is why we try and teach them to be confident with who they are. That way they can be comfortable with themselves and their choices in life.

    I agree that there are a few pervs on here. They seem to levitate anywhere normal people are. I hope you won't allow the few to chase you and your knowledge away.

    (Alexandra) It is apparent that you don't live in a house with a family that keeps an open relationship. Don't judge those of us that choose to. Learn from us and let us learn from you. An open mind is one that doesn't prevent us from learning new things but rather invites us to explore and make informed decisions in our walk.
     
  16. Elaine555

    Elaine555 Member

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    No one has offended me. All I meant was I don't want to be the only one posting on this forum.

    My older daughter and I had a quiet talk early morning. We both wake up at 5:30 and come down to kitchen to fix breakfast and pack lunches, and have a quiet cup of coffee. This is my special time with her since she is gone for long hours everyday. She leaves for work around 7 am. Anyway we were both naked as usual in the kitchen. and as we sat down with our coffee, I told her about my talk with my son.

    As I suspected she was very sympathetic, and told me not to rush him or even try to influence him. She also promised to tone it down in front of him. Anyway, just before she was about to go up to shower and dress for work, she gave me a big hug. She always hugs me, but this time she stood hugging me for more than a minute. I always cherish my closeness with her.

    Now I have to talk to my second daughter, which will be a little tricky. She is a very sexual being, and even tho' she prefers to go about in a t-shirt and panties, she can be very provocative and flirty.
    ---
     
  17. Alexandra

    Alexandra Member

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    Hmm, pathostpe, by "open relationship" you don't mean closeted incest fantasies, do you? :) There's a forum here to get your rocks off in that fashion, you know :) *points at Real Kinky*. I was RAISED nude, honey. So no, you really don't know me. By the way, it's "gravitate", not "levitate". Look it up :)

    Oh puh-leeze. Could you be ANY MORE OBVIOUS, guy?
     
  18. seismic

    seismic Member

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    Having been a closet nudist at home for several years I took the plunge a few years ago to tell my mother, to see if she would allow me to be naked around the house. As my father has divorced I live with my mom and sister. My mom was understanding and after discussing it with my sister I was agreed that my nudity around the house wouldn't be a problem. There hasn't been any real problems after the initial first few days, although my sister occassionally teases me about "shrinkage and partial erections" but it is general sibling stuff nothing more and although she is no nudist, she doesn't mind being seen coming from the bathroom to her bedroom naked. If anything it seems to have made a more relaxed atomosphere.
     
  19. *pixy*

    *pixy* Member

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    Hi,

    if this thread is relly true, i guess your focus is way too much your son's genitals, or on sexual content in general.

    I didn't grew up in a pure nudist setting, but my family did go to nudist holiday spots and we didn't make a big deal about going naked at home. So i saw my brother in the buff quite often, up to an age of about 12 years. I can't remember any rumination about his penis state, wheter bold or shrunk. It just was as it was, no one made a big deal about it. Of course we had this specific research time when we did learn about all this, but this was a short time compared with the time without significance. Some years ago when i browsed our old family photo albums i realized that he is shown with erections in some situations, a fact i didn't have in my childhood memory. So you see this was all pretty innovent and in no way sexually charged.
     
  20. curious78

    curious78 Member

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    Have him watch the Sienfield show about skrinkage... :D http://www.spike.com/video/seinfeld-seasons-5-6/2684254?cid=YSSP

    Also if you haven't already reminded him the shrinkage of the balls and penis are for warmth.. to keep the warms and sperm warm the move closer to body, and thus get away from the body when warm... to control the tempature of the sperm.. biological!!! He can look it up on the internet and have his answer quick!

    good luck let us know how it comes out.. :cool:
     

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