Casual Family Nudity
Posted April 18 2009 - 07:43 AM
I wouldn't call us nudists since we are never nude outside the house and have no desire to go to nudist resorts or beaches. But we are extremely casual about nudity inside the house with each other, and are very comfortable with our bodies and discussing sex with our children.
I am a stay-at-home mom and am generally naked all day along. I keep a robe handy just in case. No one outside my house ever sees me naked.
My husband is not comfortable totally naked but goes about in his shorts.
My 23 year old daughter is just like me - very comfortable with her body and is naked 24x7 inside the house. But she has a job as a lawyer in training and is away most of the day.
My 20 year daughter prefers to wear a T-shirt or sweater and panties in the house.
My son is a puzzle. He was extremely comfortable nude in the house until he was 12, and then suddently became more modest. He generally goes about in his shorts and t-shirt even tho' my daughters and I have been very open to him about accepting his body as is.
Posted April 18 2009 - 07:52 AM
Teenage Boys Are The Most Complex Creatures On This Planet.:eek:.
I Used To Be One..........So I Should Know......
Posted April 18 2009 - 08:03 AM
Posted April 18 2009 - 08:15 AM
Posted April 18 2009 - 08:28 AM
Posted April 18 2009 - 09:03 AM
My only concern is that my son is not comfortable with his body with or without clothes.
Posted April 18 2009 - 11:52 AM
Posted April 18 2009 - 04:02 PM
I'll have a talk with him when we're alone (and fully clothed) and figure out what's going on in his mind.
I grew up as a single child totally naked in front of my parents all my life, and never felt anything sexual towards my parents. In fact I used to think my father had a particularly ugly body, though I really admired my mother.
Posted April 18 2009 - 04:23 PM
Like Matthew said, sometimes things can't be helped. He will grow out of it and things will be normal - not that they aren't now, it seems like he knows what's goin on just fine.
You have no clue like toy stores without board games
That when I paint pictures, I'm dipping brushes in war paint
Posted April 19 2009 - 06:10 AM
Posted April 19 2009 - 06:21 AM
Posted April 19 2009 - 09:22 AM
Posted April 19 2009 - 10:57 AM
Posted April 19 2009 - 09:08 PM
My older girl is a touchy feely person and likes to hug and kiss. She is so unselfconscious about her body its beautiful and a little uncomfortable at the same time. She thinks nothing of hugging her father or me with a full body hug when she is nude. Or lounging about on the sofa with her legs spread open reading a book or watching TV. Maybe my son fears an erection. Anyway I'll talk to him soon.
Posted April 19 2009 - 09:29 PM
Posted April 19 2009 - 10:09 PM
Posted April 20 2009 - 05:10 AM
Finally, a big hug for raising 3 kids with confidence in themselves and their bodies. There is so much negative pressure on people to conform now; you are setting your family a wonderful example!
Posted April 20 2009 - 05:41 PM
Posted April 20 2009 - 06:20 PM
At 12 he may have a constant erection specially with so many girls around. Let us know how is he doing.
Posted April 20 2009 - 09:22 PM
When she comes home and on weekends, she wants to kick everything off and completely relax to de-stress. That's why she is nude all the time at home. I understand that. Anyway I am naked most of the time at home, so how can I complain? She said there is nothing sexual at all - in fact I know both girls and I look on my son as a baby still even tho' he is 14 now.
I've taught all my children each person has to find their own way to de-stress - being naked in the house, masturbation in private, or having casual sex with protection when you reach adulthood. My older one tried sex at 18 (with my blessing), didn't like it, said it was more stressful, and hasn't had sex since then. Yes, they share everything with me. She says she doesn't enjoy it and will wait until she gets married.
My younger daughter became sexually active at 19, and has really taken to it. Her boyfriend is our next door neighbor (about a mile away - we live in the middle of nowhere) and they have frequent sex to de-stress. The whole family knows it, her father and I are fine with that, and so are his parents.
I know all three kids masturbate in the privacy of their bedrooms. I think it's healthy. Anyway my older one said she will try to tone it down, but she suspects that is not the problem. I'll talk to my son when I get him alone in the house.
Posted April 20 2009 - 10:01 PM
Posted April 21 2009 - 09:03 AM
Posted April 21 2009 - 12:36 PM
Perhaps he'd like an alternative to his shorts, a way to be somewhat modest yet still wear less. A loincloth, thong, or g-string could do the trick. Perhaps if your husband were to wear one of those items your son might feel more comfortable baring more.
At any rate good luck and let us know how it goes.
Posted April 21 2009 - 03:16 PM
Posted April 23 2009 - 07:20 AM
He was alone in his room. I put on my bathrobe, knocked and entered his room. He was totally naked, doing his homework. That didn't surprise me, I knew he spent his time in his room naked - he only dressed when he came out. He made no effort to cover up, he is comfortable with me seeing him nude. He was surprised I had my robe on, but I told him I was feeling a little chilly!
I gave him the talk - told him there's nothing to be ashamed of in an erection and so on. He said he wasn't worried about that - both his sisters have seen him with erections and he didn't mind. What he was worried about was the "shrinkage"! He said normally it is about 4 inches, but sometimes it gets so small - less than 2 inches - that he is embarrassed to be around his sisters. He said he didn't even know why it happens. He can't control it and it goes from normal to hard to shrunk in just minutes. I didn't even know that was a problem for boys.
I told him that was also perfectly normal and I've seen it with his father (tho' I really haven't). But I don't think I convinced him. I have no idea if that is normal.
Posted April 23 2009 - 09:04 AM
I would probably suggest asking his father to explain to him that it's normal for many boys and men, even grown ups and that it's nothing to be ashamed of. Men are either "growers" or "showers"... as he becomes a man and starts to wonder what his body will look like, it's natural to start comparing himself on things like size, etc. because of the pressure men sometimes put in place around it. It's one of the more awful things that we do to ourselves, IMO, to put so much emphasis on only one facet of our anatomy, but there it is. If he fears being "too small" sometimes, the best you can do is just help him understand that even if it does "shrink" it's still a part of his body and it's just doing what it's supposed to be doing!
Posted April 23 2009 - 11:34 AM
I imagine that when erect he must have an average size as his peers ... and size is not critical at all. So glad you got to the bottom of the issue. But keep close because another question is going to arise and can make him shy again. Have his sisters acknowledge in some way or form that the shrinkage is no big deal ...and should not make a joke at that. Good luck.
Posted April 23 2009 - 12:30 PM
Tony: How would I go about having his sisters acknowledge that shrinkage is no big deal? I can talk to them, but if they spoke to their brother about it, he might become even more shy.
Matthew: His father has spoken with him and they have even showered together. But his father has never shown his penis to the girls except when he is in the bathroom and one of the girls barge in. So I am not sure his father can reassure him anymore.
To the men out there: If you and a girl (sister, wife, girlfriend, whatever) were naked together, and the girl makes a suggestive move (crossing a leg or bending, or touching you) and your penis starts shrinking, would you be embarrassed? Would you think you have insulted the girl?
To the women out there: In the above scenario, would you take the man's shrinkage as an insult or offense? Would you think that the man doesn't think much of your body?
I think I need answers to these questions before I talk to the my son again.
Posted April 24 2009 - 11:49 AM
Tell him size means nothing when not erect. A he should quit being so self councious. On the subject of girls talking to him ... well its a sensitive one. But they can bring up the subject one day and talk abt the shrinkage being not important. If your son experience shrikage when he gets sexualy excited then that is another issue. I do not believe this is the case. Your daughters should be briefed IN PRIVATE ...and without him present on the findings you have had. Then you have to aske them not to bring up the subject in a rough or kidding manner. They have to wait until the day they can have a serious conversations about genitals or sex or something related to "softly" bring the issue ... and make an statement to him that shirnkage or erections are normal for them and should no be of problem. Being him the "little" brother makes them think he is a kid when he now is begginign to grow up and is out of that kid age range. You can create the ambiance one day to talk abt those sensitive subjects. You can say ..being nudists we must talk about changes from time to time ..because youa re growing up and getting more and more into adult lifestyles ..specially the sex part of it ...and then bring several pending issues. In my family we do that from time to time and proves to be great. Everybody is well informed and no complaints or backfires. My wife and I take the subjects very seriously and try to explain abt HIV, AIDS, Birth Control methods ...we even talk about our own experiences at their age ... and bring the issues on a soft manner. Their is a lot to talk about on that subject ..that the majority of families dont talk because its Taboo. Also be careful because "incest" can happen and you dont want to open that door. I know abt families in other cultures who allow these things to happen. Have to be extra careful.
Let us know how it goes.
Posted April 25 2009 - 11:45 PM
As for your oldest daughter being as open in the house, congrats to you and your husband. It is good that those in the family can be that comfortable. It seems like your house is open to be open when things are "okay". Being just as comfortable and open about ones self with the whole family at once is a little harder. It is good that your family can talk openly to each other when your comfortable with yourself is very healthy and sounds like your family does it. But, being open with family when your not sure about yourself sounds like it may still be hard with the kids. That sounds like an area to grow in.