women hitting men and men hitting women

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by cattiecat, Mar 13, 2009.

  1. cattiecat

    cattiecat Member

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    This seems to be a current issue in the media. What do you think about abusive relatioships..Have you been through any situation that is abusive and what did you do..what do you think if a woman hits a man, and he hits her back. What about a man that hits a woman and she hits him back...
     
  2. wrathofjade

    wrathofjade Member

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    neither should be hitting each other unless it's a playful slap on the ass.
     
  3. Musikero

    Musikero Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    No, unless you count fighting with my sister when we were both young kids way before puberty started. I have seen and heard of a lot of women physically punish their male partners by slapping, scratching or pinching them. Fortunately for them (the women) the men are so influenced by the macho culture here (meaning, it's not manly to hit the "weaker" sex) that they don't usually fight back.

    It depends on what you mean by hitting. A 98-pound woman slapping a man much larger and heavier than her? If he hits her back that can hardly be called self defense. Particularly if he hits out of anger. But if that same woman uses a baseball bat and he punches her to stun her long enough to either disarm her or get away, that's an entirely different scenario.

    Again we'll have to define what is hitting. Slapping, punching, kicking and clubbing all fall under hitting - but a slap produces a different effect than that of a kick. Why is this important? If a woman wishes to defend herself from a man who slaps her, slapping him back won't be as effective as kicking or clubbing.

    And again, what is the motive here? Is she hitting back out of revenge or to teach him a lesson? Is she hitting back to incapacitate him long enough for her to make a quick getaway?

    I think it's a good idea to establish clear boundaries when in a relationship. For example:

    "It's not ok for you to hit me. Neither is it ok for me to hit you. If you hit me, I WILL leave. We must respect each other."
     
  4. JuliettesCrying

    JuliettesCrying Member

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    abuse in a relationship is never ok. weather it's physical, sexual, verbal or emotional. I was in an abusive marriage, he was verbal and emotionally abusive. The night he threatened to hit me, I took our son and got on the greyhound and left him, and havent been back since. it makes no difference if its the woman or man who's doing the abusive thing, it isn't right and it shouldnt be tolerated in a relationship. Im slowly learning now what Is ok and what isn't. I know the things my ex did to me was not ok, and I wouldnt reccomend anyone staying in a relationship that is unhealthy and/or abusive in any way shape or form
     
  5. Traceroni.

    Traceroni. Senior Member

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    When I was younger(17/18) I was pretty much like any teen, hated my life for no good reason, drank a lot, did drugs, ect...
    During this time, I found myself in an abusive relationship once or twice.
    The first time, it was him hitting me and shit for little to no reason so I just told him to fuck off and left him...didn't really phase me.
    The other guy I dated I stayed with for a little over a year though.

    When we started dating, we would pretty much get drunk and shit together and sometimes it would lead to arguments and we'd get into fistfights- that was more the booze than either of us.
    After a while, it got a little rough, and he'd start fights for no reason, in which case, I fought back.
    I would've broke up with him sooner, but I loved him, despite him obviously cheating, and hurting me.
    In my mind, we had good times and the sex was good (lol), it just got rough a lot and I didn't think I deserved any different (drugs, teen, emotion & drama induced low self image lol).

    In this case, I think fighting back is ok because he would've just kept going.
    There's a difference from a fight and a hit, if it was a hit, normally, I wouldn't say hit back, it'll just cause more.

    I think the problem is mutual, neither men or woman should be abused, physically or otherwise.
     

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