Fuck liars.

People that you TRUST with all your heart and soul and DEFEND whether they deserve it or NOT because you trust them and care.

And then they screw you over.

I can't put into words how that fucks me up.


ASSHOLES>

 

so yeah tell me you were right.

they'd fuck me over eventually, right?

haha.

i just like to see the best in people and fuck people that abuse that.

 

seriously bitch me up and hurt me even worse.

i TRUSTED them. how can people hurt those who care???

i dont get it.

 

Damn them and they're filthy mothers who spawned they're dumb asses. Calm down people like that are the ones who don't matter. Tell yourself that. Seriously.

 

I'm not gonna give you a hard time but a lesson that I have learnt, and maybe you should to, is that drug acquaintances are NOT friends, no matter how cool and funny and nice they are.

 

they DO matter though. im finally crying.
i love them. i care about them. they ARE good people but I think they ripped me off and if i woulda shot that shit... haha omg...

i didnt even realize it was THEM that gave me fake bags that made me nose bleed and be in PAIN and not high... not much. what they did.... i just...

I thought they were real friends though EVERYONE told me they'd fuck me over.

I really am crying and I shoulda known better... but I just don't get it...

Why fuck ME over? I woulda BOUGHT them bags if they asked. I have no idea what I did but it wasn't dope and I still love them but you know.. I'm done.

Done.

Never doing it again.

I just can't believe it and it hurts me a lot.

 

I just REALLY trusted them and when people told me they'd screw ME over I'd tell them I trust them with ME.

I feel stupid and used.

and i feel sorry for them too.

 

most people are sick fucks with no sort of conscience whatsoever, who only try to earn your trust because that makes it easier to fuck you over down the line. this is why it's basically impossible to earn my trust, and once you lose it, you won't get it back...

the important thing is to remember this (whatever it was that happened). because they WILL come back to you looking for forgiveness, they WILL have an excuse for fucking you over and lying and whatever it was they did, they WILL continue to lie to you in order to get your trust back, and they WILL fuck you over again as soon as you give them that trust

 

Well you're only human. You have a good heart you couldn't see the bad in them and they took advantage of that. That's low of them eventually you will stop caring. Fuck them those lowdown assholes. You're better than that.

 

Everything happens for a reason. If they fuck you over and you stay away from them because of it then you are less likely to do drugs. This is a blessing in disguise.

 

they are by no means your friends, but this right here could be a good thing; if you want to go out and snort heroin every damn night, you had better get used to being in pain...

 

What happened? How did you find that shit out?

 

hunnie. im crying my eyes out and it feels good. but it hurts. i feel like someone died. BECAUSE it is soooo hard to earn my trust. it really is. i just, i DID trust them. I wanted to. I'm in shock. I'll get over it. I feel better already. THEY COULDA ASK ME FOR MY THIRTY BUCKS THOUGH IF THEY WERE SICK. what fucking ASSHOLES. I mean... holy shit. I let them stay at my house and defended them to everyone and they STILL did this.

 

OH THE HUMANITY!!!

 

im not doing it again. for real.


fuck that shit.

and fuck junkies.

I DEFENDED then and said they werent like that.

so yeah i can turn this into a positive.

 

I try to not fuck liars, but sometimes you fuck a person and you can't really tell if they're a liar, so it's a little hard to judge... especially if it's drunken sex.

 

That's the spirit. You deserve a cookie. No a brownie. You have made a good decision and i'm proud of you babe.

 

heh.

im no longer mad.


thank god for tears and venting and understanding. but im done with them.

if they wanna get help and stop doing dope ill chill with them.

other then that... im not opening myself up to being fucked over again.

i seriously am more sad now then mad BUT i was mad. MAD.

my neighbor knew n gave me two oxys n a valium cause he was here and SAW my nose bleed and KNEW it was bunk. wtf.

I just...

I really want them to get help BECAUSE I KNOW they are good people. BUT they dont even realize it so fuck them.

 

it is.


im kinda seeing the light now.

it is sad though- because i truly cared about them and as i keep saying... i still do. but they'll have to get clean for me to care again.

 

its such a long, complicated story of what happened n how i found out. im not a HUNDRED percent sure jess's dealer didn't give us bunk shit but there were a million hints on the way.

I mean it was dead obvious and i didnt want to see it. Scott saw it but didnt wanna say anything. It's kinda like I didnt WANT to believe it but soooooooooooo
soooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooo
much shit (too much shit) added up.

ill get into it later.