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This is strange. Trouble orgasming?


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#1 Narcolepsy

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Posted February 12 2008 - 02:09 PM

I masturbate a lot, and I never have a problem getting off. Granted, it takes me pretty long. Cumming "quickly" for me is about 10 minutes, but when I masturbate, I love to drag it out because the orgasm is better. A really long, satisfying session can be around 25-40 mins. I guess it takes me long because fingering myself AND rubbing my clit feels really good and I switch back and forth between the two. I don't do it consistent enough because when I'm building up towards my orgasm by clit-rubbing, I really want something in me so I do that and keep switching.

For me to actually cum, I need to rub my clit, but I feel like only very specific things do it. For example, I pull up my clitoral hood and kinda rub my clit from the side, because it feels weird if it's head-on. G-spot stimulation feels super good, but I have short fingers and I need it hard and fast to get off. Unless I use a vibrator, I mostly reach my orgasm by rubbing my clit towards the end.

Now...the weird thing is that when I'm with a guy, he can only get me off via g-spot! I have no problems getting off from sex. If I get it pretty hard and fast for a little while, I can cum in 5 minutes and multiple times. Fingering takes a little longer, but mostly guys have longer fingers and enough strength to do it long enough. Only a few have been persistent enough to actually get me off that way.

But I'm REALLY frustrated that I can't orgasm from oral. I don't know if I just haven't gotten great oral before, or if I'm too weird for a guy to get me off that way. I've had so few orgasms from men, in general and I can get myself off way better.

:( Anyone else like this?

#2 GentleBen

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Posted February 13 2008 - 05:50 AM

No what your doing isn't strange, its very normal and healthy.

Troouble having orgasm, stand in the que, with most women.

Real orgasm from my own experience is very rare, and i consider myself to be very gentle and considerate, so don't feel like you not having an orgasm when everybody else is, because that I'm sure is not the case.

Well reading your post for me is most interesting, its difficult to get real live information that is credible and detailed to the point of being useful.

#3 Narcolepsy

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Posted February 13 2008 - 12:43 PM

Well I don't have trouble orgasming when I'm by myself. Unless I'm in a bad mood, I orgasm every time. It's just...I tend to take longer and I feel like it's difficult for guys to do something to me for that long, and do exactly what I want. Frankly, I don't even know if I could explain it properly.

Ah, I wish they could just read my mind.

#4 Cutted

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Posted February 13 2008 - 01:17 PM

NARCOLEPSY - Many women have trouble getting an orgasm. In fact, only 25-30% can get one from intercourse alone, and another 25% or so can get one through intercourse only with clitoral massage at the same time. and another 25% can only cum via manual stimulation, and the rest (20% or so) seldom or ever orgasm.

From my personal experience, some women orgasm quickly during intercourse, others need a lot of manual or oral stimulation during foreplay, and also clitoral massage during intercourse. Some women I am with love my fingers better than my penis, because I Am The G Spot Master...

#5 Narcolepsy

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Posted February 15 2008 - 01:50 PM

Ah I don't think you guys understand. I don't have trouble orgasming in general. I can even orgasm from intercourse.

I just can't have a clitoral orgasm with a guy, and I think it's strange because it seems to be the easier way for women to get off with their partners. I can only do it on my own and wanted to know if it was my problem or the guy's.

#6 Cutted

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Posted February 16 2008 - 07:12 AM

It probably is you, but it is confusing when you say you can orgasm from intercourse, and then you say you can't get a clitoral orgasm with a guy. Does that mean that you get a G Spot orgasm, not a clitoral orgasm, or does it mean you get an orgasm from intercourse only if you stimulate your clitoris at the same time?

Ah I don't think you guys understand. I don't have trouble orgasming in general. I can even orgasm from intercourse.

I just can't have a clitoral orgasm with a guy, and I think it's strange because it seems to be the easier way for women to get off with their partners. I can only do it on my own and wanted to know if it was my problem or the guy's.



#7 Narcolepsy

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Posted February 16 2008 - 03:08 PM

I'm saying that for me to have a clitoral orgasm, I need very specific things done that I feel I can only do myself. For me to have a gspot orgasm, I pretty much just need to be pounded. My fingers are too short/weak to do it long enough, so I can only get one from vaginal sex with a guy, or from using a dildo.

Therefore, I can't get a gspot orgasm with my fingers. I can only give myself a clitoral orgasm (which no guy ever has).

Make more sense?

#8 Snipaz

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Posted February 16 2008 - 10:59 PM

Narcolepsy - what you like sounds similar to what my girlfriend likes. Maybe try have him do oral and coach him through the first time telling him what feels best. I thought this was most helpful with my girlfriend rather than let him guess what to do.

Also, I was wondering what position you have found best that satisfy the "hard and fast" requirement? Most positions seem to need some adjustment except when she is on top, this makes it hard to go hard and fast for a prolonged period of time.

#9 stigmerica

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Posted February 17 2008 - 12:28 AM

I can tell you that many guys are bad at it, so it's possible that it just hasn't been good enough for you.

If you're on your back while receiving, I'd suggest bringing your knees back and out toward your sides. The important thing is that you allow your legs to collapse down on themselves and "hover" on their own, using minimal resistance. It's something you can improve, and it's important because the less you have to think about controlling your legs, the more you can relax and concentrate on the pleasure center.

The other thing I'd suggest is resting your head back and keeping your eyes closed. Again, this is so you aren't preoccupied with what your partner is actually doing and with the other things around you and thus you can relax more and concentrate more on the pleasure center. Think of it as swinging on a swing set with your eyes closed.

There are endless things one can do to improve any kind of sexual experience; the most important thing here is that you communicate with your partner and tell him or her exactly how you really want it. And don't be afraid to push boundaries, especially with cushy ol' cunnilingus!

Edit: I also want to add that in maintaining that position in that way there's a mental bonus due to its submissive / vulnerable nature.
Imagine an island. On this island live three people. What would be the easiest way for one of these people to control the other two? Teach them to control each other.

#10 Narcolepsy

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Posted February 17 2008 - 08:45 AM

Snipaz - I think doggy style does it for me every time. I swear, 5 hard, fast minutes of that does it for me, and I can get off multiple times. I know this sounds odd because most women don't like it, but I kinda get off on the pain of the penis against my cervix. I get off on pain in general, though. Also, me laying on my back with my legs up in the air on the end of the bed, and him standing in front of me, holding my legs. That one is pretty easy to make intense.

Stigmerica - Thanks! That really helps. I'll try that. Probably the most helpful info I've gotten.

#11 Cutted

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Posted February 19 2008 - 11:11 AM

Narcolepsy - check out my prior posts on getting a great G Spot orgasm. Also, for a clitoral orgasm, try laying on your back on the bed with a large pillow under your butt, spread your legs wide, and have him enter you in the missionary position, but with his upper body vertical to you, so he can see his penis entering your vagina. (Or he can do it standing at the edge of the bed.) He can then pleasure your clitoris, under your direction, with his (lubricated) magic fingers, as he has intercourse with you. This has worked for me with women who have trouble getting an orgasm from intercourse alone. Or you can work on your clitoris while he works on your vagina in this position.

I'm saying that for me to have a clitoral orgasm, I need very specific things done that I feel I can only do myself. For me to have a gspot orgasm, I pretty much just need to be pounded. My fingers are too short/weak to do it long enough, so I can only get one from vaginal sex with a guy, or from using a dildo.

Therefore, I can't get a gspot orgasm with my fingers. I can only give myself a clitoral orgasm (which no guy ever has).

Make more sense?



#12 bandana_girl

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Posted March 24 2008 - 08:00 PM

Well I don't have trouble orgasming when I'm by myself. Unless I'm in a bad mood, I orgasm every time. It's just...I tend to take longer and I feel like it's difficult for guys to do something to me for that long, and do exactly what I want. Frankly, I don't even know if I could explain it properly.

Ah, I wish they could just read my mind.


im having exactly the same problem and it kinda sucks, i also wish guys could just read my mind, lol that would make it so much easier lol