Wrong turn for real...

I figure a lot of you have seen the movies "wrong turn" 1 and 2? Well, what's really messed up is that you really don't have to stretch your imagination all that far... I live in WV, and I have met some damn scary hillbillies. Not that I think for a minute that any of them were cannibals...

I met this family, the Tollivers. Classic inbred hillfolk, just like in the movies. Melvin and Evelin were living in an abandoned house with no windows in December and she was pregnant. They were both illiterate, their eyes too close together, and his teeth stuck out bad. Well, we helped them out, found them a free place to live, got 'em some furniture, hooked 'em up with food stamps...

So, Melvin had a guitar, but he couldn't play but 1 song and it was "wipeout". All but 4 of his strings broke, but that's ok, he wanted to learn bass anyhow. They were so dumb that they only ate once a day. Beans and fritters. Every day. They'd get up in the morning and put on the beans to cook and sit around and wait all day for them to get done so they could eat. Evelyn left Melvin for a couple weeks and he nearly starved to death because he didn't have anyone to cook his beans for him...
They had a weird family too. Melvin had a brother who had hair that stuck straight up, not on purpose, but because he had NO personal grooming habits, and a southern "accent" so heavy it was hard to understand anything he said. His "wife" was called "Boo" and she had deformed arms and legs and a bad speech impediment and they had to carry her around everywhere. When Boo and the brother didn't have anywhere to go, they stayed with Melvin and Evelyn and all four of them slept sideways in the same bed... Melvin also had another brother, Claude. He made JETHRO look like a genious. You know those bad looking holloween fake rotten teeth you can get? Well, whoever invented those teeth must have known Claude.

So, one day Melvin and his brother were in the neighborhood because they were living in Melvins car, and they said they wanted to clean up another abandoned house to stay in, so I loaned them a broom, and then I went to town. When I got back I discovered we had been robbed (15 2 foot tall pot plants). Their foot tracks were everywhere. And they never even brought back the broom! The NEXT DAY, someone called the cops on them for squatting on their property and when the cops came, they found the plants wrapped up in a sheet in the trunk. BUSTED...

Now, I won't say these folks WOULDN'T eat human flesh, but when you're THAT messed up, anything is possible...

 

Is that a true story???

 

Were they happy?

 

Yes to both questions. I always thought it might be a lot easier to BE happy if you were not so smart...

 

Haha... crazy shit.

 

Interesting story.I lived in Florida for 5 years and saw lots of slack-jawed inbreds.One I knew was told by his neighbor that the dogs the inbred owned had killed some chickens of his.The inbred immediately called his dogs together and shot them all on the spot.They used to call me a god damn yankee behind my back at the shop I worked out of.Never bothered to mention my people came west from Mizzou in the early 1800s.Some curious and scary sub-cultures in this country.There are definately places one doesn't want to blunder into.

 

I kinda feel ya...I live in WV...and out dunlow ( thank god it's a couple hours drive from me ) some of my friends live out there. Well, over the hill from them are some weird hillbillies who live in a rundown house without any windows, junk everywhere, etc. I dont like going out there because im afraid they'd try to harass us or something, but my friend claims they are just poor, lonely, and want to be left alone. Who knows with people out there...scary junk

 

I live in West fuckin Tennessee i mean most people here are normal but we have quite a few hillbilly motherfuckers living in old abandoned houses and trailers... they scare the shit out of me i wish i never saw the movie wrong turn it made me hate hillbillies

 

Yeah... I used to live in Florida. People like that were everywhere. And guess what? I'm not moving back!

 

Well, don't get too freaked. I actually LIVED with a born and bred hillbilly for a few years, I suppose it was an experiment of sorts... His family came straight from Ireland originally and lived in the extreme backwoods. His GRANDFATHER was a turncoat in the civil war. Only about half his brothers and sisters (all 11 of them) could read and write. One sister rubbed snuff. The girls all had heaps of babies too. The family tradition included living surrounded by junk. His dad lived in a totally unlivable house with junk piled so high you couldn't find a chair to sit in if you DID have the guts to sit, and big holes in the floor, one of which was the bathroom drain... There were COFFEE CANS full of snuff-spit everywhere.

BUT, they would give you the shirt off their backs. Really good folks, I just couldn't handle the trashiness and ignorance any more after a while, and I would go out often to visit my friends as I NEEDED someone to talk to about ANYTHING besides fixing cars!!! The experiment did not end up working very well. Trying to be a hippy drove him nuts and me trying to live in a totally foreign and unintellectual environment drove ME nuts. But mainly the down to earth hillbillies are the salt of the earth...