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tweeker jokes


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#1 moop

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Posted August 09 2007 - 01:54 PM

How do you tell the difference between a crackhead and a tweaker?

The crackhead will take your stash and bounce.
The tweaker will take your stash and then help you look for it.

i fuckin hate tweekers, anyone got some more

#2 Skratch

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Posted August 09 2007 - 03:05 PM

why do you hate on the tweakers?
there are some really cool tweakers out there.

ive seen crackheads tweakers and some stoners search carpets for their shit after they smoked it or just wanted to pretend it was lost so they could have it.
ur joke fails I win.
find me some beauty
in this deceptive place
before you know it
i'll be gone without a trace
:cheers2:

#3 Lady of the Freaks

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Posted August 09 2007 - 03:52 PM

Q. Where can you find a full set of teeth?
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A. In a room full of tweakers.
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#4 Skratch

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Posted August 09 2007 - 03:56 PM

^I do like that one tho
find me some beauty
in this deceptive place
before you know it
i'll be gone without a trace
:cheers2:

#5 StayLoose1011

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Posted August 09 2007 - 06:00 PM

I am going to make some up on the spot.

Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear a Tweaker Say

10. I didn't realize I was exceeding the speed limit, I should drive a bit slower. Safety first.

9. I'm so relaxed, there isn't a single bit of tension in my body. My jaw is hanging loosely, and my body is like a feather floating in the wind as I move patiently and gracefully around my house.

8. No homosexual lover, I do not want to have passionate anal sex for the 11th time this evening. Any more would be an exercise in ridiculous hedonism.

7. I highly value and respect my local law enforcement agency.

6. I have been washing my face with this exfoliating gel scrub three times a day, and it's worked wonders on my skin.

5. ::yawn:: It's 11:00 already? Man, I'm so tired, I think I'm going to pass out.

4. I'm so hungry I could eat two steaks.

3. I think it's time I moved out of the trailer and into something with a little more class and sophistication.

2. Dude, have you seen my toothbrush?

1. No man, I'm through for the night. No more hits for me.

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#6 jusdino4it

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Posted August 10 2007 - 07:38 PM

lol
Im right, and you're wrong. Thats the way it's always going to be.
The sooner you accept this, the easier things will be for you.

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#7 moop

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Posted August 13 2007 - 02:10 PM

theres a bunny hopping through the forest and hes content and happy just cruising along. bunnys hopping along and he runs into bear whos laying up against a tree cooking up some smack in a spoon. bunny runs up to bear and says "bear what are you doing, your wasting your life with that shit, come with me, toss your stash and come run with me through the forest, itll make you healthy and youll feel better. so bear says allright and bear and bunny go running through the forest. bear and bunny run into squirrel whos about to take a fatty line of blow. bunny runs up to squirrel and says squirrel wtf, why are you doing that, its bad for your brain and your heart, you need to come run with us through the forest it will make you healthy. so squirrel bear and bunny go running through the forest and they all run into deer, who is lighting up a joint. bunny runs up to deer and says " deer what are you doing, that stuff makes you lazy and unmotivated, stop wasting your life and come running" so deer joins them and they all go running through the forest. they run across a road and run into couger, whos about to eat a bunch of danky cyanesens he just picked. bunny runs up to cougar " couger what are you doing, those are dangerous you could get lost you could---" the cougar backhands the bunny who flyes back across the road. "what did you do that for" says bear. cougar says "every time that damn bunny gets hopped up on meth he trys to get me to go running with him"

#8 moop

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Posted August 13 2007 - 02:12 PM

some dude at a barter fair came up to our campsite and said "hey i got a joke for ya'all, but first ive got to take a shit" he left and was gone for like 40 minutes and we completly forgot about him, then he comes back and says "allright you want to hear that joke" then he tells the bunny cougar joke and walks off

#9 fanoffloyd1992

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Posted August 13 2007 - 05:13 PM

what the fuck is a tweaker. this may sound stupid but...
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#10 fanoffloyd1992

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Posted August 13 2007 - 05:15 PM

is a tweaker like a priss or something
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#11 moop

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Posted August 14 2007 - 03:12 PM

a tweaker is someone who smokes a lot of meth

#12 logwarrior

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Posted August 14 2007 - 04:51 PM

what do you get when you cross a tweaker and a vcr?




a toaster

#13 Beachybuns69

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Posted October 04 2011 - 08:03 PM

I dont like how people have stero type so called tweakers which are people that choose to use the drug methanphetamine. they say so many things like your teeth will fall out sores on your body from picking. Bad hygine I find this false I know people have smoked for 13 years has mouth with most perfect teeth. I know people that smoke that won't leave there house with spot on there clotes or hair out of place. So before people put labels and sterotypes out there remember not everyone is fullblown druggie. And loose there life to meth.

#14 orison319

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Posted October 04 2011 - 08:07 PM

it goes to 11.


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#15 primalflow

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Posted October 04 2011 - 08:26 PM

Why do tweakers do it doggystyle?








So both of them can look out the window.
:sunny:

#16 myfarah

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Posted October 28 2011 - 06:02 AM

No hate to tweakers