Thoughts from a former homeschooler

Hello, I am a former homeschooler (elementary through highschool) and I wanted to share my opinions on homeschooling with anyone who is considering it. This is primarily directed at the 'unschooling' type because that is what I am familiar with.

I have never met an unschooler who enjoyed the same kind of social life that many public schoolers do. Girlfriends, interacting with people your own age every day, going out with friends because they want to hang out with you, going to prom and other school dances, etc are all things that unschoolers dont get much of. I have heard many unschoolering parents claim that their kids dont need things like prom, a girlfriend, a 'normal' social life, and so on. This should be a huge warning sign to you. What kind of parent decides that their kid 'doesnt need' what most other youths regard as being some of the most important parts of their childhood?

Even if your child does end up becoming extremely unpopular and hating school he should at least be given the chance to have a decent social life.

There are some benefits to homeschooling, I have seen many unschoolers get a decent education, and probably become better prepared for college than they would be otherwise. But honestly, is an advantage of getting a little better prepared for college worth sacrificing your kid's childhood for? Not to mention the fact that any scholastic advantage will typically be more than made up for by a social disadvantage.

Basically what it comes down to in my opinion is that unschooling is a way for hippy parents to force their lifestyle on their children. Some kids would have become hippies anyway who dont want friends their own age, dating, prom, or any of the rest of the social life they will get from going to school and maybe that works for them. But for all the other children that are homeschooled, they will grow up to hate you the same way I hate my parents. I think most of the parents who read this are set in their ways and will refuse to listen to anything that doesnt coincide with their own view of homeschooling. But hopefully someone who is considering it will read it and will allow their kids to have a normal life before its too late.

 

Well, this all really depends on the kid. It should be their choice, yes, but as long as they don't just sit at home every day until they're 18, they'll probably be okay. They'll have friends. I was homeschooled for about half of my childhood (nonconsecutively), and I don't feel that it screwed me up. People really don't stay friends with the people they meet in high school anyway. They can always make friends at college, if they're going to college. I didn't. But you can make friends anywhere.

And public school is terrible for your mind, and I don't mean academically (that too, though). Most people have no idea exactly how much school alters a child's brain. Children are supposed to be inquisitive, interested and creative. But once they're six years old, they go to school and have to sit still, not ask questions, and think inside the box. Kids who don't want to "have ADD" and are put on drugs. School teaches an extremely narrow view of possibility. It's not natural nor healthy for kids to be put through this.

And I don't doubt that you're right in some cases. Like I said, it should be the kid's choice whether to go to public school or not. Some parents are horrible and would probably subject the kid to these things I'm talking about moreso than school would. But there are also a lot of good parents who want their kids to grow up the way they're supposed to.

 

It's funny how you can find people who say public school was or was not the best thing ever for them. You can find people who say unschooling and/or home schooling was or was not the best thing ever for them.

The truth, I believe lies, with the methods of schooling, which vary widely and the way the child learns, or the teaching is done. Sometimes these things fit and sometimes they just don't.

I've hear horrible stories about socialization in all types of schooling.

However, I personally know a lot of unschoolers and none of them are these stereotypically, unable to socialize types, that people so often say are the ONLY kind they know.

Our personal experiences and feelings while certainly valid do not necessarily inform others as to what their experiences will be simply because each situation and all people are so different.

 

I was homeschooled (I'm not quite sure what 'unschooling ' is but I know that my parents would have strongly disagreed with that sentiment ;-)) From the age of 5 finished when I was 17. I think it gave me a good grounding in some things (mainly literature) I didn't do that well in maths or the sciences but that might just have been me. I'm not a nobel prize winner but I am literate and (I hope) fairly well educated.

Socially? As a little kid I had loads of friends we used to play on weekends or after school. In my teens I think I missed out socially. I always had the option of going to school but at that point I was too shy and not confident enough to take the plunge.

this wasn't helped by the fact that my parents were overprotective and I was bullied on a regular basis in town. My parents were/are not 'native' and that was always a big issue for the townfolk. I'm not sure if it would have gotten worse if I had attended school. One of the reasons we were homeschooled was the vicious attitude to forigners in those days.

However. Now as an adult I am very happy with my social life. I have a great , loving group of friends.

Sometimes I resent my parents for not allowing me a 'normal' life but then I end up blessing them for allowing me a different view of the world. I guess I'll never know what the outcome has been. All I know is that they worked *Really* hard and put their hearts and souls into it. I don't think I would do the same for my own (theoretical) children.

If I had any advice for homeschoolers it would be

1. make sure your kids are basiclly keeping up with their friends academiclly

2. Be reasonable with your teenagers, don't overprotect them. They need a certain amount of freedom and independance.

 

end the thread, this post was perfect

 

well, i can attest to how bad public school can be. when i was 8, i had an iq test and the results were quite high (they're probably a fair bit lower now) and i LOVED to learn. i was a regular nerd, and always participated in class. but my teachers hated me because i questioned them, and my peers hated me because i wasn't like them and i was the weird girl. by the time i was in 4th and 5th grade, i had severe depression and was somewhat suicidal. i was put on antidepressants for awhile. public school was definately not the best option for me, and i've hated school ever since. i'm finally preparing to leave and hopefully homeschool, something i think i would have benefited from a long time ago.

 

I hate how the normal social things are. Being rude is cool. Fights everyday. Druggies (well, that isnt that bad ) And general corrupt-ness of todays society.