When I came to my new school, as I expected, I fell in love. His name is Lawrence. He's funny, knows tons about music, listens to classic rock and is cute in is own way. I overheard his conversation with the teacher on the second day of school, and he was talking about how he loved rock 'n roll and listens to the same classic rock station I do. In the next class I learned he was going to the Rolling Stones concert, is a drummer, and randomly in the middle of class said "John Bonham was the greatest drummer of all time!" And of course it's rare someone my age mentions Bonzo. So I was like "Yeah! Totally!" And then he went on about the drum solo in Moby Dick. Well, the rest was history. I was in love. Not that he didn't keep on impressing me. The teacher was talking about how AIDS patients often die of pneumonia, so I added "That's exactly how Freddie Mercury from Queen died." And to my surprise he was like "Totally! I know!" Wow. Someone who cared about Freddie! I doodled his name on my notebooks and wrote deep poetry about him. I thought of dedicating my choice for song of the week to him. Oh yeah and he's blind. And a drummer... he can't get much more awesome. Well today I had my heart broken. You know those girls... those fake "popular" girls that pretend to be your friend and are unaware you can see right through them? Well, in science class today we did a lab experiment, but since I don't sit near him I wasn't in his group, but I did notice one of those slutty fake girls next to him, and... she was flirting with him? Yes. God... it was so fake I could freaking see right through her!!! Like she actually gave a shit about him. she laughed at every other thing he said and pretended to be interested in him and his personal life. I could see right through her! It hurt and bad. I had to leave in the middle of class to "go to the bathroom" because I was literally about to cry. So I cried it out for as long as I could get away with then came back. It was sick. Disgusting. She was dressed like a whore and she was so fake it wasn't even funny. Then at the end she was like showing him where his desk was and had her fucking hand on his shoulder then she like came up behind him and did it again. I wanted her to just... stop touching him. Or being sweet with him. She's a bitch who's leading him on. God. Then I felt like crying more after I saw that... because that's where I wanted to be. I wanted to be the one there for him. Like they had any common interests. It was more hurtful than you could ever imagine. After everyone left I lost it and just let the tears spill from my eyes. I was sick of being hurt over and over again. And that was just today! I'm so fucking depressed I feel like my heart is going to melt away. Then after that she was flirting with another guy. What a jerk. Those kinds of people used to do the exact same thing to me and always left me hurt and upset and I don't want people like that breathing the same air as people I love. But maybe I'm just jealous. I am. I love Lawrence so much... and no matter what I do in the end I still have feelings for him. Even today. God. What do I do? I don't know how to express my feelings to him and I know I need to. The only way I can think of would be to tell him personally. But I don't want to! I'm to scared. After the episode where she was telling him where his desk was and putting her hands all over him I pounded my fist on the desk as hard as I could. It was an impulse. I was pissed and honestly wanted to get into the nearest eighteen-wheel semi-truck and run her over. Then I was just sad again. I can't handle it. Having to watch it... hear it... it hurts okay? It hurts, and I'm justabout to my limit. What do I do?
grow up? you really need to get over other people touchign this guy and leading him with their hands because HE CAN'T SEE. you also need to realize that just because someone flirts with someone doenst make them a whore and deserve to be run over, is it so hard to think that maybe she wasnt flirting and was jsut being nice or perhaps the same qualities that attracted you to this guy could possibly also attract other people? seriously, you're freaking out over nothing, and you're infatuated not in love. if you want to date him ask him out, you can't date him anyother way so get over it or go for it.
^^^ as above ..... talk to him. You already know you have common interests .... you're one step ahead. *hint: don't let yourself be obsessed. In the words of the ancient ninja master, "those who become obsessed are often their own worst enemy." I got that quote from a ninja turtles episode
Okay I'm gonna be pretty blunt here so get ready... You don't OWN this guy (and even if you both started dating, you still wouldn't own him), which means, while it is totally normal to feel jealous when you see other girls flirting with him, it doesn't make it cool for you to act possessively when you haven't even asked him out yet! I mean so you saw this girl flirting with him and felt really jealous. Well so what? That doesn't necessarily make her a bitch (I'm not saying she's not, just not in this particular case). It's unfair of you to just condemn her for flirting with Lawrence when he's not even your boyfriend. And if she decides to flirt with another boy, well what is it to you? That's none of your business. I'm not trying to invalidate your feelings, just trying to show you how things look from a more dispassionate point of view. And from this point of view: she had the guts to go up to him, you didn't - which means she got what you deserved because she knew what she wanted and went for it and you didn't do anything to get what you want. So what do you do now? Wanna be the one touching him? Then go ahead and touch him! Talk to him. Be there for him. If he's too dense to realize anything then be bold and ask him out. In other words, DO SOMETHING instead of standing back and getting your heart broken every time you see another girl near him, and then posting it in hip forums!
Yeah, much better. I did talk to him today!!!!!!! At lunch!!!!!!! It was great. Just as I expected. We totally hit it off. We had basically everything in common. He even could understand my Axl thing Wow...
Ha! Don't beleive that! There are millions of other losers out there (including me of course)... I kinda laught when I think about how shy I can get! Hey! That was my 300th post! It's so revealing...
I talked to him again today xD He really likes Rush and is really serious about being a drummer. He can play alot of their stuff on the drums
That's a great conversation starter. Ask him why he likes it, how he got into it. Let him know you're interested. The biggest step is talking to him - make it a habit to sit with him at lunch. Remember, if you want to touch him, TOUCH HIM! LOL. Good luck.