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Gay Communes


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#1 Duncan

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Posted July 16 2006 - 07:26 AM

I think it's great that communes and intentional communities are pro-family, vegetarian, self-supporting...

But I was wondering if there are any gay communes out there. And I'm not talking about gay friendly which is a rather subjective term. Any search suggestions?
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#2 makihiko

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Posted August 13 2006 - 05:54 PM

there are none, just "gay friendly" ones, but none soley homosexual. I was wondering that a while back...if you want it commune wise you gotta make it yourself.

The world is not given to us from our parents,

it is borrowed from our children.

#3 raveledinchains

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Posted August 04 2007 - 05:29 PM

Actually there are quite a few Gay Male ones on IC.org listed if your one of those faerie types:

Nomenus Radical Faerie Sanctuary in Wolf Creek, Oregon:
http://directory.ic....&record_id=1301


Zuni Mountain Sanctuary in Ramah, New Mexico:
http://directory.ic....&record_id=2850


Short Mountain Sanctuary, Inc in Liberty, Tennessee:
http://directory.ic....&record_id=1068


Starland in Yucca Valley, California:
http://directory.ic....&record_id=2915


Folleterre in Ternuay, Vosges, France:
http://directory.ic....record_id=20479

#4 Dragonwolfwizard

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Posted August 05 2007 - 12:37 PM

AS the person before me left the tags for Zuni, Short Mountain, there is also Wolf Creek in Oregon, also a Radical Faerie community, Starland is not going to be liveable for a while. Most are hippie oriented, but, you could certainly check out ones where there is only a few gay men, as so many men left the rural areas in search of acceptance, less harrassment & by far more sex with other hot out men in the bigger cities.

I left Key West after 7 yrs when I got sober in the 90's. Most of the cmty's I went to had one or none. At Twin Oaks at the height of my time there we had 7 gay men, 4 lesbians and 2 transgenders. I am now in south central Texas as the only gay male here. I miss the company of others like me, most of the communities I have visited in the last 2 years have said I was the first gay man to arrive or even consider them. Lots of hot straight guys, who like to hug & talk to me yet, never any action. I hate going to Gay Bars with all the smoke & I am sober 12 yrs now. Internet dating is hard too, I love communal living, the freedom it provides me with alternative lifestyles, having another gay man would be great, yet, as you know finding the one man to cuddle with and move into something linger term is much harder to find. I will say that all of my 12 yrs in Intentional Living has been worth it, after living in so many gay enclaves in cities like Atlanta, Philly & Key West.

I am open to more correspondence.

Kenric aka DragonWolf Wizard

#5 Duncan

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Posted August 05 2007 - 06:16 PM

The unfortunate thing about the gay listings above is the fact that there is specific reference to radical faery groups. When I think of a gay commune, I am not thinking of a community of nudists or naturalists. I'm actually thinking of just living with gay men. Period.
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#6 raveledinchains

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Posted August 05 2007 - 10:19 PM

Sorry I'm not sure what radical faerie at all means. I just took it as meaning they were more feminine then other gay guys?

#7 Dragonwolfwizard

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Posted August 06 2007 - 05:57 AM

I hear you!! I, so would like to live with all gay men, too. I feel we are a culture unto ourselves. I am not into Radical Faeries. Definition of a Radical Faerie as I can figure out is a gay man who feels he can be anything and likes to dress up in drag, makeup and garden, live and play. Most are way into dress up, I do not think all are femme, that is a stereotype, thinking about femme males. So many gay men are masculine and want to bend the rules of maleness. Zuni Mountain, Short Mountain & Wolf Creek are just areas of men who like to celebrate Pagan holiday, live together freely and it is their way of life, just another paradigm in queer life.

Uhhhhh, I like queer, fag and homo so much better than "gay", to me gay sounds Way too much. I was around when the word was decided upon to describe us as a whole in the early 70's.The Advocate, then had a poll of its readership. Since I have been queer all my life, known since age 6, I can call myself as I feel most comfortable, besides after being harrassed for so many years it fits me. Irealize alot of men in my generation hate those words since it brings up many connotations not positive, as a Boomer I am living free of negativity, learning to be in a place of positive thought, living in the Law of Attraction & The Law of Love..........unconditional.

Thanks

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#8 badboybill

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Posted November 12 2009 - 03:10 PM

I am not a Radical Faerie, here is a description for those unfamiliar
http://www.zms.org/zmspics.html
, but I have met a couple of guys from Zuni Mountain and they are very nice guys. I suggest looking around on their site as well as others that are mentioned to find out what is out there.

One of my long term goals is to create a Gay Male Commune. I have been planning this for over 10 years, but I am a few years (4 or 5 hopefully) from being able to start it. If anyone is interested in feel free to contact us
http://directory.ic.org/22509/Gay_Mens_Rural_Community
gaymenscommunity@yahoo.com

#9 Tsurugi_Oni

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Posted November 15 2009 - 10:01 AM

How will your commune grow past your generation? Are you going to adopt babies and convert them to the cause?

#10 jaysonpaints

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Posted November 15 2009 - 08:21 PM

I am in Canada and would certainly be interested in a community with other gay men. If anything is going on or happening, I would love to be involved. I have thought about trying to start something like this, but need to find more folks who are interested ...

#11 kyzipster

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Posted January 05 2010 - 07:29 AM

I wouldn't dismiss the communities developed by the Radical Faeries. There's a good description of their history on Wikipedia. I've been to 8 large gatherings and there is a very wide range of people from all over the country, masculine, feminine, all in between. It seems to be more about feeling empowered as a gay person and detachment from mainstream society, gay and straight, embracing nature, paganism, whatever you want and nothing is forced on anyone, certainly not drag. I don't even identify as a 'Faerie' but have a great time and get a lot out of participating.

There's a lot going on at Short Mountain Sanctuary in Tennessee. The sanctuary is around 200 acres with about 15 people living there long term I think and there are over 1000 acres surrounding it that are owned by queer people and several other intentional communities have formed in the area. Some people live independently on their own property. SMS welcomes visitors for camping for a small fee, I'd recommend visiting both during a gathering and when there's no gathering to get a sense of it.

I've been considering a change to some kind of communal living but all of the Radical Faerie communities are in places with very cold winters. I've decided I do want to be in a queer community but the choices are limited and I'm craving good weather. I'd love to see something develop in Costa Rica, I found several straight communities online that seem interesting.

#12 ChronicTom

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Posted January 05 2010 - 08:21 AM

I'm really curious about something...

How do all you supporters for a 'gay' community feel when you see a community that is 'straight' only?

Discrimination based on sexual identity is still discrimination no matter which you discriminate against.

Starting or joining any community that preaches either end of that spectrum is just trading one form of sheepdom for another.

#13 kyzipster

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Posted January 10 2010 - 04:05 AM

I've only visited the Radical Faerie communities and they are not gay only. All are welcome and quite a few heterosexuals of both genders, families with children, lesbians, bisexuals and transgendered people participate. I've met straight people who identify themselves as "Radical Faerie", no one asks and no one cares. I only know they were straight because they told me so. One guy told me in a very defensive and hostile way when I assumed he was gay, and I was not making a pass or anything resembling a pass.

If you are 'straight', maybe you should visit so you can get a sense of what it's like to be part of a small minority in an isolated, rural community with only a small chance of connecting romantically with someone. Imagine living that way year round and as far as I know, you would be welcome to.

#14 ChronicTom

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Posted January 10 2010 - 05:56 AM

so you can get a sense of what it's like to be part of a small minority in an isolated, rural community with only a small chance of connecting romantically with someone.


So, it isn't really a commune you are talking about then, it's a pick up spot?

You can say anything you wish here, but the simple fact is that this thread is specifically about gay only communes. In fact, the OP said;

I think it's great that communes and intentional communities are pro-family, vegetarian, self-supporting...

But I was wondering if there are any gay communes out there. And I'm not talking about gay friendly which is a rather subjective term. Any search suggestions?


As for the rest of your reply, it doesn't matter why the commune says they are 'gay only', it is still wrong on at least two levels...

1) it is sexually discriminatory... what business is it of anyone else, what sexual preference or leaning they have? Why does it matter if that is gay, straight, bi or any other form or variation.

2) the commune would be run on the same basis as normal society is now, just with the discrimination reversed.

I guess what it comes down to is what you want out of life. If you're gay, and your only complaint about 'normal' society is that you are discriminated against because of it, then yes, a gay commune would make sense.

Personally, one of the first red flags I see when looking at any new community is a willingness to openly display discriminatory behavior, especially from a position that there are 'reasons' that it is okay to do so.

#15 kyzipster

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Posted January 10 2010 - 06:36 AM

So, it isn't really a commune you are talking about then, it's a pick up spot?

You can say anything you wish here, but the simple fact is that this thread is specifically about gay only communes. In fact, the OP said;



As for the rest of your reply, it doesn't matter why the commune says they are 'gay only', it is still wrong on at least two levels...

1) it is sexually discriminatory... what business is it of anyone else, what sexual preference or leaning they have? Why does it matter if that is gay, straight, bi or any other form or variation.

2) the commune would be run on the same basis as normal society is now, just with the discrimination reversed.

I guess what it comes down to is what you want out of life. If you're gay, and your only complaint about 'normal' society is that you are discriminated against because of it, then yes, a gay commune would make sense.

Personally, one of the first red flags I see when looking at any new community is a willingness to openly display discriminatory behavior, especially from a position that there are 'reasons' that it is okay to do so.


No, it's not a pickup spot and I did not imply that it was. Are you really trying to suggest that there is no sexual or romantic involvement between members of communes that are not gay identified? Sex may not be the first priority but for most people it plays a significant role in life, relationships and family. How do you think heterosexual families come into being?

I was addressing the only gay communes that I'm familiar with, and from what I can see on this thread, they may be the only ones that exist, they're the only ones I'm familiar with and I've done a lot of googling. As I clearly stated, there is no exclusion of anyone based on sexual orientation, all are welcome, even encouraged to come. The discrimination you are complaining about does not exist and they fall within the category of this thread as I understand it, 'gay communes, not simply gay friendly'.

You're right in a way, it is a society set up in reverse with gay people as the majority and straights as a small minority but no one is excluded, in the same way I would probably not be excluded as a gay person at a commune that was almost exclusively heterosexual. Come check it out, you would be welcomed.

Discrimination is not the ONLY problem with mainstream society but it is most definitely a problem and a gay commune is a safe place to be ourselves absolutely. There are only a handful of gay, urban ghettos where that is true to the same degree in mainstream society. I've also come across discrimination in heterosexual communes that I've visited where I've been treated like the other. If we lived in a utopian society, I might accept your view, but homophobia is ingrained in our culture and it most definitely reaches to the "hip" among us. There's a homophobic comment in this very thread, a comment about converting babies.

Your perceived victimhood here is a difficult thing to grasp. If you don't understand the need for members of a persecuted minority to create a safe place for spiritual exploration, I can't explain it further.

#16 ChronicTom

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Posted January 10 2010 - 07:00 AM

I was addressing the only gay communes that I'm familiar with, and from what I can see on this thread, they may be the only ones that exist, they're the only ones I'm familiar with and I've done a lot of googling. As I clearly stated, there is no exclusion of anyone based on sexual orientation, all are welcome, even encouraged to come.


If there is no exclusion of anyone based on sexual orientation, how do you figure they are 'gay communes'?

The discrimination you are complaining about does not exist and they fall within the category of this thread as I understand it, 'gay communes, not simply gay friendly'.


I don't know what definitions you are using for your terms, but 'gay friendly, means that they are friendly towards gay's, as in they do not discriminate either way...

a 'gay commune' implies the same thing a 'straight commune' does... sexual discrimination.

As for 'within the category of this thread', I'll quote (for the second post in a row), what the OP said, with the appropriate part highlighted.

I think it's great that communes and intentional communities are pro-family, vegetarian, self-supporting...

But I was wondering if there are any gay communes out there. And I'm not talking about gay friendly which is a rather subjective term. Any search suggestions?


Your perceived victimhood here is a difficult thing to grasp.


My perceived victimhood?? Perhaps it is difficult to grasp because there is none?

Why is it that you assume a person must feel victimized to stand up for something that is right?

If you don't understand the need for members of a persecuted minority to create a safe place for spiritual exploration, I can't explain it further.


I understand that creating further separations in our society based upon factors such as that to the exclusion of others, is no way to move forward as a society. It doesn't matter if you are talking on a small scale such as a commune or on a large scale as in the world at large.

The answer is inclusion, not exclusion, and if you don't understand the need for that, I can't explain it any further.

#17 kyzipster

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Posted January 11 2010 - 08:56 AM

I shouldn't have personalized the word 'victim' and I apologize, but if you're going to suggest that gay communes discriminate, then there has to be a victim of that discrimination. I have explained that the only gay communes I'm familiar, and the only ones mentioned so far in this thread, do not discriminate in any way, all are welcome. No different in any way from heterosexual communes that are 'gay friendly' and not all of them advertise as 'gay friendly'. You don't seem to accept that all are welcome, or something.

The majority doesn't have to advertise as 'heterosexual' for very obvious reasons. I have come across some communities while researching online that cater to practitioners of a particular yoga, to women, to Christians, to families with children, to vegetarians, to sober people, to only non-smokers, eco-friendly, to people of independent financial means only. For the most part, all the communities seem open to all yet they have a particular focus and some go so far as to ban particular behaviors and habits. I have no problem with any of these approaches to communal living. If I don't believe their approach is a fit for me then I won't check it out. I see no difference between a gay commune that welcomes all and any number of communes with a certain theme or goal, that might fill a need for a group of people with a common interest. If you don't like the idea of a gay commune then don't go there but I don't think it's fair to make an accusation of discrimination, I see no evidence that it's true.

#18 ChronicTom

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Posted January 11 2010 - 09:27 AM

You are definately right in that most communes and the like are based around some aspect that allows people to follow along a central theme.

It is that very aspect itself that I disagree with, no matter the subject. The saddest part about us as humans is that we look for simplistic and easy to follow paths, even if they are only in name. That is why christianity, islam and all the other religions flourish and convince their followers to go to war with each other. It is also why extreme cults can pop up and convince their followers to commit mass suicide and/or murder. Because at the heart of it all, people want to follow something.

On occasion, communes and such do come along that try to eliminate that as much as possible. They usually don't make it far in terms of people who join them though. Because the idea of being an individual, without a clear path to follow, scares the hell out of the majority of people.

Which brings us back to the point :)

If labeling a commune as gay, makes it no different then one that is labelled as gay friendly, or one that is labeled as hetrosexual, assuming they all don't exclude anyone based on other sexual identities, what is the point to the label at all? Well... beyond the point of giving people a label to follow... ie.. "I live on a (gay/gay friendly/straight) commune"

#19 kyzipster

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Posted January 11 2010 - 09:59 AM

All I can say is that the Radical Faeries, which may be one of the only groups that has made an effort at gay communal living, is the most accepting, open society I've ever experienced with absolutely no rules on sexual orientation and almost no rules of any kind beyond the most practical. Perhaps the closest thing I've seen to your ideal but their gatherings can be particularly empowering to LGBT people who can have specific issues because of the society we live in. Some of us are not even aware of these issues until we explore an alternative that challenges us. I did not have this experience at other communities I've visited, the 'gay friendly' communities where I was the only gay person there as far as I could tell.

#20 ChronicTom

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Posted January 11 2010 - 10:21 AM

Apparently I'm just confused, because none of that makes any sense at all...

What makes them 'gay communes' if there are no rules regarding sexuality? This is the part that I keep harping on, because it makes absolutely no sense at all to call a commune a 'gay commune', if there are no rules regarding sexuality there.

It is like saying, I'm going to make a club for red haired people, but allowing everyone regardless of hair color to join. What is it that makes it a club for red haired people if not having red hair?

#21 RexHarley

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Posted April 25 2010 - 12:52 PM

Hi Duncan - Did you ever find a gay commune? I would like to find a sexually open place where I can feel free to be myself and build relationships with other men. I'm not sure if I'm looking for a commune or a fraternity house for adults.

#22 wild-flowers

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Posted April 25 2010 - 12:56 PM

I think having a souly gay commune kind of defeats the purpose. A group of diverse people living together in harmony is ideal not just gay people. Otherwise it's just a ship short of a gay cruise.
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#23 PiscesCub

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Posted May 28 2012 - 01:23 PM

I wonder if any of you all have found a commune for yourselves.
I have been interested in this sort of a living arrangement for a long time. I woud love to form a gay commune/family/frat house, or whatever you would like to call it. Something where everyone living there would be somewhat of a large family group. My vision includes men of all ages, races, and religions. It would also include anybody with physical/mental disabilities. The main prerequisite is that you can help out with some aspect of the operations. If you can make a few crafts or feed a critter, you are more than capable.
Nudity/naturism would almost definitely be an aspect, as my partner is very much into that lifestyle, and chances are very good that if you were to stop by our house, he would be naked. I don't really consider it to be discriminatory. I'd rather that everybody is comfortable with everybody else around.
I am hoping to have something where a person would be comfortable to live out their lives in comfort and peace, so it would be aimed more towards older folks, but we would want younger guys around, to help care fo the others as needed.

I have some awesome plans, just not sure how to implement them right now. We currently only have sleeping space for a couple of extra people, although there are ways and means of adding more.

Anybody have ideas?

#24 PiscesCub

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Posted June 08 2012 - 03:04 PM

As I had posted previously, I am hoping to set up something of this nature. I am not discriminatory, and anyone who may be interested in livig in our community would be welcome, but some may not be comfortable with it.
I personally don't care if one was male, female, gay, straight, black, white, purple, green, or any other difference. But one needs to be comfortable with everyone else they are living with, and some people may be more uncomfortable with some aspects of a gay community. They really shouldn't be, but some eople are.

You can check us out at www.2ds.ca.

Edited by PiscesCub, June 08 2012 - 03:05 PM.
additional info.


#25 PiscesCub

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Posted June 24 2012 - 08:43 AM

I forgot to add previously, you can also find a facebook page:
Search for " The Zen Gay Free Love Commune."

Edited by PiscesCub, June 24 2012 - 08:46 AM.
Fix name search.


#26 Vincent2012

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Posted June 25 2012 - 08:50 AM

No such person or page can be found on facebook with that title. You may need to make sure you have made it public and 'published' cause I would really like to see your page.

#27 PiscesCub

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Posted June 25 2012 - 10:21 AM

I didn't build the page, but I'll get the link for it...

http://www.facebook....70464696373222/

Try that.

#28 sthtxboy13

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Posted June 11 2013 - 01:01 AM

Where in Texas were you? I live in San Antonio. looking for a commune.