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Why that slightly heavy girl is hot (while others are not)


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#1 kurius

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Posted July 05 2006 - 12:08 AM

Is there any chance I could ask you for a quick comment for a short article I'm writing?

Here's the gist: Most guys have encountered a woman or two in their lives who was a bit on the heavy side, maybe 15 to 25 pounds overweight, but for some strange mixture of reasons, it didn't stop this particular woman from being very attractive--even hot. Guys who don't usually like heavier women are attracted to her, before anything sexual occurs.

For some reason, when you look at this particular woman, you don't predominantly "see" a heavy chick in your mind's eye. You only see a sexy chick or a woman you'd like to date.

The question is, Why?

What specifically was it about this particular woman you're thinking of--- looks-wise, physically, personality-wise, whatever---that gave her "it"? What was different about her, or how did she create this aura?

If you could give me any quick insights you have based on a woman you've known like this, that would be terrific. Alternatively, below are some factors the women I've known had in common, and please feel free to comment on any. I'll certainly give you more info about the article before using any of your comments.

They all dressed really, really well
They had top-shelf lingerie and wore it with style --black lace bra under the white shirt, etc.
Long hair
Great skin
Nice hands/toenails---they take care of the small details
Fantastic smile, and they smile very often
They're very good at flirting--they know how to do it a bit aggressively without ever losing control or coming across as desperate
They're athletic--they play tennis, work out, etc.
Voice? Not with the 2 women I knew, but maybe it's a factor for others.

Thanks very much,
Ron
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#2 Zajko

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Posted July 05 2006 - 02:52 AM

I would say that more men than one would think are attracted to large, curvy women but keep it to themselves because it is socially acceptable only to admit attraction to thin women.

#3 R. August Croen

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Posted July 05 2006 - 03:19 AM

...it is socially acceptable only to admit attraction to thin women.

I'm not so sure about that. My estranged wife is a very slender woman, and she'd tell you it's apparently considered politically correct for complete strangers to come up to her and say, "I hate you." I've caught flack myself for being involved with such a willowy creature: "Feed that girl something." But there's nothing wrong with her appetite. She's just built that way.

As far as the initial question is concerned, that's never happened to me. I'm not attracted to heavy women at all. I like the "Calista Flockhart" types.
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#4 ihmurria

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Posted July 05 2006 - 04:08 AM

why the weight limit in the overweight-edness?

for me (female not male) it's just been that it suits the woman... they still have curves, still retain a good hip to waist ratio, and don't obsess over their weight. I'd rather have an overweight woman who was happy with herself than a skinny one who obsessed over her weight and diet

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#5 mamaboogie

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Posted July 05 2006 - 06:17 AM

The question is, Why?

it's because she knows she's hot. How a woman feels about herself is what makes her beautiful.
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#6 badwolf

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Posted July 05 2006 - 09:11 AM

I know a few girls that are in the 15-30 lbs overweight bracket and they are gorgeous.

And I think it goes back to what mamaboogie said...

I don't think weight should be a determining factor if a girl is beautiful or not. I think it is the girl's aura and her self-confidence.

#7 MissJo

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Posted July 05 2006 - 09:13 AM

it's because she knows she's hot. How a woman feels about herself is what makes her beautiful.

Exactly.

I'm a heavy girl, anyone who has seen me will agree with that. I'm not ashamed of it at all, in fact, my philosophy is "As long as I don't look in a mirror, I'm the hottest thing in the room."

Since i've been old enough to date, I haven't been without a boyfriend. Or a couple boyfriends.

I think Mamaboogie is right. She knows she's beautiful, whether other people know it or not.
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#8 icedteapriestess

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Posted July 05 2006 - 09:16 AM

I think women who are beautiful but don't realize it are much more attractive that the women who KNOW they are goodlooking. Think its the ego and attitute that repulses me.

I like to think that we would find one women from the "line up" more attractive than the others because of something we sense coming from INSIDE her.... but I do find the insides to be what makes me stick around.

#9 Maggie Sugar

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Posted July 05 2006 - 09:22 AM

WHO is to decide what "overweight" is? The CDC and medical experts change their mids frequently, and we can't trust the media, as most womyn in the media are frighteninly UNDERweight, and all are judged by them.
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#10 Maggie Sugar

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Posted July 05 2006 - 09:22 AM

WHO is to decide what "overweight" is? The CDC and medical experts change their minds frequently, and we can't trust the media, as most womyn in the media are frighteninly UNDERweight, and all are judged by them.
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#11 Josh_the_Small

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Posted July 05 2006 - 10:23 AM

it's because she knows she's hot. How a woman feels about herself is what makes her beautiful.

Beyond that, she's flawed and proud of it. I mean, everyone knows being heavier than a supermodel isn't a flaw. But it seems to be to the stupid.
Someone who is killing themselves to fit that supermodel standard is miserable and weak.
The slightly overweight girl has an aloofness to such standards and confidence which is incredibly attractive, while she is still has a level of fat that most men can deal with.
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#12 spooner

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Posted July 05 2006 - 10:36 AM

A chick's definition of beautiful is way different than a guys. And the sad fact is that all the self-confidence in the world won't make an ugly girl hot or a fat girl skinny.


#13 spooner

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Posted July 05 2006 - 10:37 AM

WHO is to decide what "overweight" is? The CDC and medical experts change their minds frequently, and we can't trust the media, as most womyn in the media are frighteninly UNDERweight, and all are judged by them.


you could just as easily argue that people's bias is skewed the other way because of the average rate of obesity in America.


#14 ninja_monkee

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Posted July 06 2006 - 07:10 AM

you could just as easily argue that people's bias is skewed the other way because of the average rate of obesity in America.


Agreed. Although I still think some fat women are hot.



I think it's the boobs that does it for me, honestly. Though I would not be attracted to someone who didn't have a pretty face.
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#15 Kiyohiko

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Posted July 06 2006 - 08:14 AM

Beauty's in the eye of the beholder. Weight for the most part has never been a determining factor as to how attractive I find a woman. I've met some females that are extremely attractive if nothing more by virtue their mindset and personalities. If I can't connect on a personal and intellectual level, just the physical doesn't give me a whole lot.

#16 driftwood_74

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Posted July 06 2006 - 11:07 AM

A societies definition of beauty (or what the ideal weight is) changes with time. Look at what Renaissance painters depicted as the ideal beauty. These women would fit into the overweight category by today’s standards. Does that make her any less beautiful?
Some women just ooze sexuality and this has nothing to do with her weight. Self confidence and flirtiness are a huge turn on for me. If the woman seems like she would be fun to be with, its “all systems go.” It’s all about having a good time, isn’t it? A super model could be the worst lay in the world if she has the wrong attitude or no skills (not that I’ve been with a super model).

#17 ihmurria

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Posted July 06 2006 - 05:36 PM

I still find it hilarious that the definition of heavy here is "15 to 25 pounds overweight"
god, there are so many chicks out there on whom most guys would never realize that the medical industry classes them as 20lbs overweight

ugh

I love love, I love to love and I love being loved

1,2,3 who should I kill?
Everymother fucker running up the hill.
1,2,3 what should I do?
Get fucked up get fucked up with you.


#18 Biida

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Posted July 06 2006 - 06:03 PM

it's because she knows she's hot. How a woman feels about herself is what makes her beautiful.

Amen to that, sister.

I'd say I fall into this category of the supposedly 'heavy woman,' being about 15 pounds more than it would take to be considered a skinny chick... And I LOVE my body! With that said, I must admit that I've never had any trouble attracting partners and am never lacking for admirers. :P
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#19 BodyElectric

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Posted July 06 2006 - 06:42 PM

"As long as I don't look in a mirror, I'm the hottest thing in the room."


I need to think like this more often. Thank you for the inspiration.

#20 AerialReaver

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Posted July 06 2006 - 08:36 PM

I love me a fat chick, more cushon for the pushin! I dunno I just don't go for what people call looks persay. All my friends make of me for every girl I go out with. Fuck them. I go for the inner beauty, or try to.
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#21 Duck

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Posted July 06 2006 - 08:43 PM

noone (well almost) bothered to answer this guy's question

he was asking (more or less):

what things can make a girl attractive to you, despite them being a size (or body type) you do not usually go for?

I've always wondered this myself, I can't figure it out
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#22 BungalowBrad

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Posted July 07 2006 - 10:41 AM

I feel very strongly that it has to do with "insticts," I guess. It's like how men are attracted to a woman with child-bearing hips. A woman who is slightly heavier probably looks healthier to the cave-man part of our brain and also would be able to provide for the the result of our attraction to them: a child.

#23 spooner

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Posted July 07 2006 - 11:40 AM

i won't even hang out with fat girls, much less sleep with them.


#24 SonOfTheRock

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Posted July 07 2006 - 12:19 PM

I've met some females that are extremely attractive if nothing more by virtue their mindset and personalities. If I can't connect on a personal and intellectual level, just the physical doesn't give me a whole lot.

This is well put. It's personality, intelligence and humour which makes somebody fun to be with and generates chemistry.

I feel very strongly that it has to do with "insticts," I guess. It's like how men are attracted to a woman with child-bearing hips. A woman who is slightly heavier probably looks healthier to the cave-man part of our brain and also would be able to provide for the the result of our attraction to them: a child.

There's probably a bit of truth in that too. Smart and all as we think we are, we can't really get away from these instincts.

#25 R. August Croen

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Posted July 07 2006 - 02:48 PM

...we can't really get away from these instincts.

I think it's something like an instinct too, at least in the sense that it's beyond our control, but I believe we may be born hard-wired with certain preferences. Like, the body type that turns us on may be as immutable and pre-determined as the gay/straight preference is.

Years ago, I tried getting involved with a woman who was way fat for my tastes, and I found I couldn't get past it. She had so much going for her in other ways. She was smart, she was funny, she was otherwise attractive, she carried herself well, she had confidence, she was a medical doctor, and she came on to me hard. I was a bit reluctant, and she laid on the "Honey, you haven't had nothin' until you've had me--I'll Rock Your World" bit, and I thought, Get over it, man. Do her. So I did.

But after a couple of months, I realized I wasn't getting past it. At home, she tended to go naked a lot (as do I), but I never found the sight of her body appealing. It didn't gross me out, it was just... nothing. I've had other lovers who were casual nudists at home. I never got tired of looking at them. They always turned me on.

I called myself six kinds of shallow, but in the end I had to break off our relationship (at least the sexual part; she busted up the rest, not that I blame her). When you're fucking with your eyes closed and fantasizing about other women just to get it up, something is wrong.

One night, I recall, we were talking in bed, and I suddenly burst into laughter for no outwardly apparent reason. It probably sounded pretty hysterical and Gene Wilder-like. She asked me what on earth was wrong, and I couldn't tell her. It would have been mean to tell her. But the thought that had spontaneously popped into my head was, Darling... in this light, you look just like... Rodney Dangerfield.

Well, in that light, she did.

So, I broke it off. I told her the truth about why (that her weight was the issue, not that she looked like Rodney Dangerfield). She didn't take it well, said she didn't believe me, said my fragile male ego just couldn't handle a woman who made six times what I did.

Whatever. I hope believing that made it easier for her.
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#26 Jedi

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Posted July 08 2006 - 04:35 AM

Depends on her face, you kind of just know when a girl is fat/obese but is really still very attractive because she has a really cute face. IMO, girls who just are friendly are very attractive. But sadly, some girls are just not that at all, some are just nasty and have this extreme sense of ego that they are somehow superior to you, because you started the conversation and not them.
Some insult you and expect you to just go running back like a dog, ha! and some guys are pathetic enough to do just that.

#27 kitty fabulous

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Posted July 08 2006 - 05:04 AM

Oh c'mon now. Didn't anyone ever go "hogging?" There's no "chub chasers" on this board?

I DO draw the line though when the chick looks like the Michelin Tire logo though.

You have your moments when you are truly disgusting. :rolleyes:

I am a zaftig woman, and I'd like to think that men are drawn to me for my personality, intelligence, competency, and self-confidence. But I have a feeling that the real reason is because I have dreadlocks, tattoos, piercings, bare feet, and big tits.

I admit I am jaded and disillusioned about love and romance, and am rather enjoying my celibacy at the moment.

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#28 R. August Croen

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Posted July 08 2006 - 08:45 AM

...maybe it's not about us thinking like cavemen....

Oh, I was probably thinking like a caveman. I believe my thought processes went something like, This woman is begging you to strip her and fuck her. Strip her and fuck her, man! That's pretty caveman-like.

Rationality of a higher order would have had me politely declining, and finding somebody I really wanted. But I was only 24. She was about thirty... and not only an M.D., she was a psychiatrist. She knew how to find all my buttons and push them, although she claimed she never did that.

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#29 R. August Croen

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Posted July 08 2006 - 09:19 AM

but then you dumped her:D

very 21st century:H

Actually, it was still the 20th. Around 1986, as a matter of fact. And it wasn't easy, and I'm not proud of it. I shouldn't have been with her in the first place.

Something I didn't mention was that, although I started to realize I was in trouble after only about two months, I stayed with her almost two years. It took me another six months after the initial realization to get it through my thick skull that it wasn't going to work, that I wasn't going to change, that shallow or not, I couldn't alter the template in my head; then, I made myself miserable and stressed out so badly over it that I gave myself a seizure, right before I was about to break the news to her. It happened at dinner with friends. When I came to, I was blind in one eye (not one side of my visual field; one eye, which she said was odd). Scared the hell out of her--remember, she was a doctor.

She had me in the emergency room within thirty minutes. "You don't just start having seizures and blindness in your mid-twenties for no reason," she said. By that time, my vision had come back (it looked really trippy coming back, too). She was sort of exasperated because I wouldn't let her call an ambulance, so she drove me there. And boy, let me tell you something: when a doctor brings you into the E.R., people move! The treatment you get is totally different from what Joe Schmoe gets.

They told me I'd have to spend the night. I said I didn't want to. The E.R. doc said he was sorry, but he wanted a scan as quickly as possible, and the scanner operator was a hundred miles away. My girlfriend told the E.R. doc that maybe he hadn't heard me, but "Mr. Croen said he didn't want to spend the night." The poor man repeated that the radiologist was in Oklahoma City. My girlfriend told him to put the guy on a Life Flight helicopter and get him there.

They put him on a helicopter and got him there. My girlfriend jumped in and lied when he asked me if I'd eaten. She wanted the scan right then, too. I barfed all over the poor bastard when the iodine went into my vein. At least he saw my distress and got me out before I barfed all over his machine.

So for the next two weeks, I waited. She waited with me. She was wonderful and supportive. We were both scared. And in the end, the diagnosis was... no big deal. Mild seizure disorder, low seizure threshold, no need for medication. The neurologist told me to avoid drinking and stress ("I never said this, but I'd much rather you smoked pot than drank," he said) and sent me on my way. He said I'd probably never have another one, and I haven't.

I was so grateful for everything she'd done that I stayed with her another six months. Then I dumped her. I went home and held a stuffed raccoon she'd given me and cried. I felt like a heel.

No, I'm not proud of it.
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#30 kitty fabulous

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Posted July 08 2006 - 09:24 AM

Wow, so much drama that could have been avoided by honesty.

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