how do you cope with death?

a friend of mine was killed in a car accident yesterday and i dont know how i should feel. Ive never really had anyone close to me die before

 

This is a wonderful witnessing opportunity for any religious vampires who wish to prey on the saddened and disoriented.

 

thats fucking mean, you shouldnt be allowed to post on here

 

Well how ARE you feeling? What emotions, if any, are you experiencing? My guess would be that right now you are feeling disbelief. Perhaps a numbness inside?

I'm very sorry about the loss of your friend...

 

im still in shock, ive already cried but im still in too much shock, im sure once the shock has gone down ill feel horrible

 

and thanks

 

That was a warning to you... and a warning to others about your situation.

To answer your particular question, I haven't got enough to go on.

I once was on a powerlifting board when someone came on and announced he had found out that his brain cancer had recurred, there was no point in trying to combat it, he was gonna lose his mental capacity, go insane, go stupid, then die.

And rather than "wow, that sucks." "It will be a great loss" "We love you, how can we help" it was "Wow more than JESUS ever JESUS it's important JESUS to make sure JESUS that you're right JESUS with your savior JESUS before you end up JESUS meeting your maker JESUS JESUS JESUS and you don't wanna JESUS end up in hell JESUS can I send you a bunch of pamphlets JESUS or better yet JESUS come to my church JESUS and get you baptized right JESUS JESUS"

Since then, I post my anti vampire post.

 

Grief goes through phases that usually tend to overlap one another...shock and denial, anguish, and resolution. What you are feeling right now is completely normal the grobe.

Many hugs and healing...

 

Frig anything could be normal.

You could be feeling NOTHING at all, crying, being angry, you could feel really really tired. You could laugh a lot and find it all incredibly funny.

All of these are standard coping mechanisms.

The only problem with asking others for help on this is that many people choose to take these moments to push forward their own pet agenda. Like, say, Christians, who hang around terminal wards to prey on the family. "Wow, you were married for fifty years. You must feel so terribly lost. You know he's in eternal agony right? But at least we can save you..."

 

yeah i know, its normal but i definitally have way to many things going through my head, im less worried about how i feel but how my friends who knew him better then me feel and his family how i can help

 

RE: its normal but i definitally have way to many things going through my head, im less worried about how i feel but how my friends who knew him better then me feel and his family how i can help

Take an inventory of your own feelings, and what's going through your head.

What can you do for his family? If anything, be ready for whatever they ask you for. Do NOT go to them and try and fix this for them or impose on them "anything I can do for you just ask..." - apart from the most perfunctory of well-understood agreement on same.

 

All you can really do is be there for them and offer your emotional support during this difficult time.

 

Emphasis on offer. And only once.

 

I havn't realy had any person close to me die. But dogs that is another story. When I was little my mom wanted to start a sled dog team. We never really got around to the sled part but we had the dogs. We didn't have the money for a sled at the time. Now huskys are very wild dogs. When you have 8 of them they have to stay outside and when a dog really really wants to go... well they go. Most of the time they come back or someone finds them or you find them. Other times though they find a road and well...you know. It is sad. Very very sad. I loved those dogs. A few years back a dog that I had since was very little died. It was sad but I think that is when I really learned how to cope. It is hard to explain how to cope you just kinda do. You learn that life goes on. It is part of the circle of life. They wouldn't want you to be sad and it dose stops hurting. It's hard but you got to hang on. I know that it most likely not the same but I thought it might be a little help. Don't hold tight to death hold to what life gives you next.

 

You will be shocked for a while, then you might be sad. Or you might just be at peace with it. Death is not bad, I dont think I have ever been sad because of someones death.

 

i have had many deaths in my family and friends...what your going i been through,but diffrent people cope with death diffrently,try not to think about it,sooner or later i'll stop hurting

 

im really sorry grobe. ((hug))

 

hi grobe, first let me say i'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. i remember when i was your age and had to face death for a friend in high school. i was devestated. now that i'm older i have lost many people in my life and it never gets any easier. there are 5 stages of feelings to losing a loved one. the first is shock, the 2nd denial, the 3rd anger, the 4th disbelief and the 5th is acceptance. allow yourself alot of time to get to the 5th step and don't allow anyone to tell you how you should or shouldn't feel. to me the more i weep and feel sad the easier it is to deal with the pain. i lost my father over 15 years ago to suicide and i still mourn for him, but it has gotten easier over the years. i have good memories of him and have learned to feel sadness when it comes and happiness when it comes. celebrate your friends life and i always write poetry which really helps me sort out my feelings. blessings to you and your friends family and loved one's. my prayers are with you for healing.
hippiewise

 

you are in a state of shock

sit in a quiet room and remember that person, the things he taught you and the times you had together. in this way you honour him and make contact with him simultaneously. you will probably find that he will be near for a short period.

 

I am sorry to hear your news,

Death is a hard thing to live with, you will feel bad for a whilebut you need to realise that this will only be short term pain you feel. After a while you will feel comfortable about the death. You need to try as much as you can to think about it in the long-term. Because one day you will get over it.