I'm still not sure. I'm trying to decide whether or not I'm straight or bisexual. Because I am attracted to woman, but I can't really imagine myself in a serious relationship with one. It's annoying. I know most people go thru a time in their teenage years when they don't know, but I'm almost 19... I kind of figured I would know by now. How old where you all when you knew?
well I starting liking girls when I was in 5th grade and knew I Im lesbian or bisexual when I was 16 or 17. Now Im completely Lesbian and love it. hit me up if you wanna talk.
When I first knew? I was 7... I didn't realize it, and I later went into denial about it... I fell in love with a boy and a girl; the girl moved away. The boy, however, is still my best friend; and that childhood love has grown into a mature, appreciative love. I also experienced gender dysphoria for the first time; I wanted to play with the girls and associate with them because I empathized with them more so than with other boys. Of course, I couldn't; they saw me as a boy... I actually turned down several times where I could have crossdressed and just let the girl shine through; but, I was too afraid of ridicule... I already felt ostracized. Then, by the time I was 12, I was aware that something was wrong... I wanted to crossdress very badly; I constantly felt akward and uncomfortable, regardless of the social setting... Finally, when I was 14, I accepted that I was a woman for the first time, and that I was omnisexual. I was in a lesbian relationship... picked out my name, explored my femininity; prepared to come out. But, then, I was suddenly gripped by my fear of ridicule, and I went into another stage of denial... My family had moved, and I finally realized that there was no way that I was a boy... Years of loneliness ensued; even though I was often surrounded by friends, I felt completely alone... I had been researching trans issues for some time; so, that kind of information was constantly on my mind... I became androgynous during my sophmore year, because I didn't know what to think... I allowed my intuition to grow, and it continued to lead me back to the idea that I was a girl. It began to haunt me in both my waking hours and wildest dreams... I would dream of being a girl; I would pray to wake up as a girl... I would scorn myself for having not been born as a girl... I would self-injure. Anywho, yeah... enough of my history. I finally came to terms with myself early this year; I began living as a woman only a few months afterwards, and still am doing so... Hormone replacement therapy isn't too far off, and sexual reasignment surgery is looking like my goal in transition... I'm in my senior year of high school; so, ya... I've been told that I am both wise and brave; which, is a rather silly combination... Let's just say that I had a newfound enjoyment of life in general; I fear nothing... not even death. Though, I do fear fear; it can be such an irrational emotion at times. Although, my intuition has never done me any wrong. :H Yeah, okay... that was unnecessarily long.
Talk about growing up quickly! It's rad to see you living your life the way you want to now though. I've read little snippets of your experience, but to read it all here, it's a little overwhelming (? - i cant think of the right word), and i can't even begin to empathise. It's not that i don't want to, but that i couldn't imagine how it felt/feels. You rock Ocean_Byrd. Gee, and to think for me it was simply a case of: "I like boys.. no wait, girls... mmm nah both."
Well, thanks; there's quite a bit more to the story... I didn't talk about dropping hints, or, certain feelings at certain ages... I just summarized it all. The privilege of living my life the way I want to has come with a great toll on my and my family's well being, though... I feel like I've scrambled my brains to get everything in order for transition; my academic performance is down because of all the energy I am concentrating on this issue. The problem is, many people don't want to empathise... I've been told that I'm a queer, a fag, that I have a twisted perception and that I'm mentally ill; I've even been sexually harassed... All for being true to myself; society is cruel... My fears of these very criticisms is what drove me back into denial; it got to a point where I just wanted to die because I couldn't deal with being a girl, yet, being forced to live like a boy. After a near-death experience from an accidental drug overdose, I finally came to terms with my gender identity issues and explored them; it took a while before I finally re-accepted myself. My gender dysphoria grew, and swelled; it began to cut into various parts of my life; I finally came out at the beginning of this last summer... School isn't any easier; especially not right now... My gender dysphoria has had me on a roller coaster of feelings these past few weeks; I've wanted to die one day and live life to the fullest another... I'm lonely in school; only my true friends talk to me anymore. It's just... crazy... And I'm waiting until I get my name changed and my letter of recommendation to an endrocrinologist; there are times where I wish I wasn't me, or, that I just wanted to fade away... I'm not about to preach about the quality of my life; there are people who have it far worse than me... Though, I hope those who are better off, will read it, and think more positively of their situation.
I'm gay, and I've always been gay. I've heard that there are some people whose orientation shifts, but that hasn't been the case for me.
I m alesbian and DAMN PROUD OF IT 2!!!!!! I always have been a lez.....I was born a lez!! I have a daughter who is 9, from a quick though about the str8t life. Thought I was missin something? But i was only missin more the love of a woman. I love my lil girl,but I would never ever think I was missin something again in my life. Hooray 4 us Lesbian women!!!
aww i know how you feel... i'm dealing with that a bit right now, and i'm three years older than you. i used to be "scared" to be a lesbian... i'd drive away any thoughts of girls and thought i was a freak.. i was a late bloomer anyway, and kinda scared of sex in general. and then later i realized how much i liked boys and thought for sure i was straight, didn't worry about it again and then within the past couple years or so i've really gone back and forth with my sexual issues (even just having sex in the first place) and finally i became comfortable with my sexuality a little over a year ago and now i'm accepting that i like girls i've never been with one, and it's okay if i never am (i'm in love with a man whom i plan to be with forever) but i know that i have the capability to make love to a woman.. hehe... i think i could have a relationship with one and all that too. wow that took a lot to write. only two ppl who know me have any idea of all this, and neither one really knows details. *deep breath*
I use to think I was a lesbian. Damn was I wrong... I'm lovin' the cock too much, however I still enjoy the lips.
the ideal situation; a young handsome guy as my boyfriend...and then sometimes a sexy old guy and a cute girl to have sex with. [amen!]
Haha, I remember wishing that certain thoughts and feelings would go away... Many a time did I say "I wish I'd been born a girl..." and then turn around and told myself: "What good would that do? You only know how to be a boy..." How pathetic... I was trying to drive away who I truly was because of society. I finally gave up trying to force myself to think another way; I got tired of repressing everything, including my urge to crossdress. Then, I did a bunch of stuff, and went into denial again... except, I stopped denying what I thought and felt. I knew it was true, yet, I didn't want to believe it... So, I basically became an androgynous robot; what a fun experience... not. Anywho, nobody should repress themselves... even if expressing that specific part of themselves leads to embarassment. Embrace everything about you, and give others the chance to do the same; you may just find more peace in your life.
Well, my girlfriend says Im a lesbian and my boyfriend says I'm straight. I would say that I'm definitely bi-sexual. Yay! More for me!