he is telling you that he loves you wayyy too soon? also when you are still sort of hung up on somebody else? I don't know why I am so dumb. or how I get myself into these situations.
It's pretty easy to say, "I'm not ready for anything near this heavy yet." If he understands, then everything's cool. If he persists, then it's a deal breaker.
this is true. sometimes I feel like I just go about hurting people all the time. communicating my emotions is very uncomfortable for me -- and listening to others communicate theirs can be nearly as uncomfortable. I guess I will just have to have a talk with him. I'm terrible at these sorts of things.
Yeah, nobody's good at it. And would you even want to be good at crushing peoples' hearts? The nicest thing you can do for this kid is tell him, for future reference, that girls don't really like it when you pull out the L Word too soon in the relationship. It gives all the power in the relationship to the girl, which takes the chase out of it, which makes you not so into him anymore. (That sentence applies equally if you switch the genders, of course.)
yeahh. blah. I just hate to be the one telling him these things. I get the idea that he already has problems with insecurity as it is -- and I know I'll just be making it worse. as a pretty self-appreciating person, the insecurity can be hard to deal with. but, what must be done must be done.
The more that you don't talk, the harder it becomes to talk. It'll help if you remain proactive instead of reactive. Good luck!
thanks guys. occasionally I get into weird emotional situations, and common sense just does not occur to me -- I just flail about and panic. :]
That's what I do all the time! Flailing, anyway. It's great. No, it's tough to know that you're about to hurt someone's feelings. It kinda sucks. But it sounds like you know how you feel and you know what you should do. Good luck. Or hey, you know what? For ten bucks or a picture of your boobs, I'll break up with him for you!
Start by telling him that you aren't ready for the "I love you's" and then take some time for a little self reflection. If you still have feelings for someone else you need to resolve them as much as possible before jumping into another relationship. If not you end up dragging your unresolved baggage from one relationship to the next, and it creates a toxic cycle of emotion because you never fully engage in any relationship. Take some time and fly solo until you get your head and your heart back in sync. Being single for a while can be a good thing Good Luck!
I agree with everything "His_Eden" said. All of it is very good advice. Fly solo, take your time, lots of time to heal and just focus on having some fun and nothing serious. It is much better to be true to your heart and let someone down... even though it may hurt; for you and him as well! Real pain comes from being in a relationship for too long of a time then finding out that it was never meant to be.
problem solved. I spoke to him, which was horrible. I'm not much good at communicating my feelings. and then for a while after, he continued to pressure me about 'trying to make it work' ... and I just reminded him what I said and distanced myself until he stopped. I am so relieved.
:jumps up for high-five: thanks for the pep talking. these things are unnaturally difficult for me. :]
