talking about past sexual experiences good or bad?

hey guys.
give you a brief rundown of myself.
im 19 and ive had a previous girlfriend for 11months. we broke up and 2months later i was with another girl because she was WAY to good to pass up. someone who i thought was out of my league. anyways i pursued her and got her. it really makes me a better man these days.
now this is what i am concerned about

my girlfriend has been with some pretty bad guys who have played with her head. i know and have come to know that she is probably the most innocent and fragile girl i know. just her public persona is different. NOW she classified herself as a slut to me because thats how she was back in the old days according to her. NOW she is totally different etc. but what does my head in is that she thinks its healthy to at least tell me about her past experinces with guys and stuff. but the more she tells me the more i think shes slutty and stuff.
dont get me wrong. this girl is the women of my dreams, im living with her and will more then likely get her parents blessing to marry her soon enough . i dont love her any less when she tells me . its just this demon clouds my mind and makes me think bad things. and what kills me is the fact she says its fine when i tell her stuff, or when she wants to know cos i hate talking bout my ex;s . cos its the past. but when she tells me i just think so wrongly and it hurts that i do that. hence why i am posting this .

is there any advice on if im being TOTALY overreactive or any help to think about other things etc. i just know im being unreasonable cos yeah .. just help please.
very much appreciated

 

YOu are very young to be in that real of love, that being said that dosent mean it is not real, but if you are going to marry this girl the only way it is going to work is if you communicate. Tell her just how you are feeling about the situation, if you cant that the relationship is doomed.

Also i was with a girl when i was 19 (Im 22 now) and she moved in with me and my mom and there is one thing you should know; There is a huge difference between seeing a girl everyday (even having her stay over alot of the time) and living with you. Home is your place to escape, ypur safe haven, and if that place is mutual between you two and you guys get in an argument(inevitable) where are you gonna go to cool down. This is just one of the things that is very different when it come s to living with a girl and all must be taken into consideration. Hope i could be of some help.

Much love -dis

 

I say a couple of mental tricks might help you with this.

Firstly, if you talk about your past more not even necessarily what you've done with girls, but your sexual past, it might make you a little more comfortable with hers. Anything you are embarrassed about, or aren't proud of, will especially help.

Secondly, remember that that was her then: not her now.

Third, think about if any of the stories would be kinda hot if it wasn't her that they are about. If any are hot, think about the story; but think about it being you and her, and masturbate.

More might come to me. I have anxiety issues, so I have to deal with unrealistic thoughts sometimes, and you learn ways to keep them in check =)

 

duck those two simple techniques are gonna help me with my anxiety sooo much, yo da man thanks

-much love dis

 

well in regards to dislexic , my previous girlfriend lived with me for over a year cos her family were a bit loopy and out of place etc. we were absolutely fine. i have done it before . and with my ex, we were one of those couples that ALWAYS fought . day in day out. hence why i couldnt stand it anymore. after we broke up i vowed never to go out with someone that i actually didnt think that could end up being the one person i really want to spend my life with . i know im 19 and i know im not 22 but it still doesnt beat the fact that i may be more mature then you are in love making decisions. this post was just for a bit of advice .. anyways. i know that this girl now. is somewhat TOTALY different to her past persona and for that imgreatful. we havent even had one fight, not one in over 6months . im fair sure thats leaning towards bigger pictures. we have the same morals, ethics, backgrounds and in general personalities. we have both had past relationships longer then 1 year and we know a good person when we see one. hopefully the flow takes us to where every couple wants to be in a few years to come.
thanks

 

Hmmm. . . don't know if this will help, but it seems like you have embraced a set of values encouraged by society at large (sex is naughty/bad) and it is creating problems in your relationship.

It might help to think (or realize) that society is largely dysfunctional and has values that are at odds with being a complete, healthy person.

Sexuality is something natural. Communicating with people close to you about what you have really experienced and what you really feel is something natural and healthy ( I think). The mores of society tend to focus on conformity and fear of crossing the boundaries of taboo, rather than what is really healthy for the individual.

It may help to consider that your gf may be more liberated and mature than you. If you can see that your reactions are coming from repressive social conditioning, you may in time begin to change.

 

You should both be able to talk about whatever you want in a healthy relationship. She should be sensitive about your feelings though, so if you've made it clear it makes you uneasy hearing lots of detail, she should respect that. You should also respect that if she wants to talk about something and has chosen you to tell, it's a privilege, and nothing she says about the past should change who you are together now, unless it's in the extreme catagory (Your girlfriend admits she's been in prison for murder in the past= Girlfriend tells you she's slept with other men and talks about it a bit=fine) Don't let insecurity block freedom of speech between you. It's important.

Also drop the labels and just accept her for who she is and who she has been. Everyone has something "shady" in their past unless they've lived in a bubble before you meet them. Sharing stories can be a great way to cement a relationship and explore eachothers minds, and aslong as she is only interested in you now, what's the problem?