I seriously feel like I'm going crazy! I can't even think straight. For the past 4 or 5 months I've been freaking out and I don't know what to do. All I want to do is sleep all day and when I try to go to bed at night I will just lay there for hours. I do this every night. I don't want to do anything at all. I've been avoiding my friends and I have missed a lot of school too. I just want to stay home a veg all day. It makes me want to cry... I'm really not a lazy person. I've always done so well and been so dedicated to everything and I feel so guilty for not be as productive as I should be. I also feel guilty because there's no reason I should be feeling like this. It's my senior year and everyone keeps telling me that this is one of the most important times in my life, but for some reason I just don't give a damn. I'm sorry for the rant, but I really don't know what to do.
You sound just like me, this is the problem I am going through. Its like I have all this pressure inside my brain, and I cant focus on anything, and my mind is always racing. I dont want to get up in the mornings, I want to just sleep, and while I am at school I hate every minute of it, I just want to run away and be free. I am having to do all this junk to get prepared for college, cause my dad keeps telling me I have to go. I kinda want to, but Id much rather live on a commune for a while or something. I avoid going on outings a lot, and totally avoid going in public, I have developed this social disorder where I cant get around crowds, I feel weird, and really superior to them, I dont know why. So If your insane, then I am way worse. lol. But ur not insane. I am a junior in High school, and everyone has all these high expectations on me because I make real good grades, and want me to do things I dont want to do, but I love my parents and everything, but I just want freedom.
That is almost exactly how I feel. Because I've always done well and been so "perfect" I feel all this pressure and it is seriously driving me insane. They're expecting me to be their perfect little girl and I honestly can't take it anymore. I tried to tell my mom and she doesn't care... she says I'll get over it, but I'm not. I have to go straight into college, which wouldn't normally be a problem, but I just don't know anymore. On top of all that, I have to get a job now. I'm not getting any money when I leave home and I don't have any as of now. They said I can handle it, but I honestly don't think I can. I'm leaving in 3 and a half months and I have no idea how I'm supposed do this.
Yup, you just want to scream and run away because of all these burdens put on you. I know how u feel. My best advice is to just chill at try and live things day by day, instead of other worryings, what part of the south are you in? I live in Alabama. But sometimes I fail to take my own advice and I'm consumed by the cut throat day to day life of our failing society. Thats why I want to get away.
