Cowboy: Give me 3 packs of condoms please. Cashier: Do you need a paper bag with that sir? Cowboy: Nah, she aint that ugly.
These aren't one liners, but i was watching the Monty Python skit about the funniest joke in the world..... Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was assaulted. Peanut. http://youtu.be/in7yLZJ7A6Y
That man in the lobby farted so hard that it made the fan in the painting of a Dutch windmill on the wall start spinning.
Sounds like the sort of thing that I would have said to the cashier. Whenever I go to the shops, I always seem to manage to brighten up a dull afternoon. LOL.
When the shopkeeper offered me a new kitchen cleaner called 'Foaming Bison Cleaner'. I replied, "I don't allow my bison in the kitchen when he starts foaming". Shopkeepers love me.
What are shoes made from banana peels called ..... slippers. One liner pick up Come sit on my lap and I will show you how my love grows for you
One Liner Pick ups: "Look, I'm not that smart, I'm not even that attractive, but I'm hung like a Rhino so how about it?" "Bitch, get in the car I've got a gun."
Say this about some1 who is all up in your ass, weather it be a boss or anyone "He's so far up my ass he can count the pallups"
I remember when this originally aired for some reason. Top 10 Punchlines To Scottish Dirty Jokes (From David Letterman) 10. It took me a fortnight to get out of the thistles 9. I didn't know you could also get wool from them! 8. It's not a bagpipe, but don't stop playing 7. What made you think I was talking about golf? 6. I've heard of comin' through the rye, but this is ridiculous! 5. Of course she's served millions - she's a McDonald 4. Oh, so YOU'RE Wade Boggs 3. Care to shake hands with the Loch Ness monster? 2. Who's burning argyles? And, the number one punch line to a Scottish dirty joke: 1. She's in the distillery making Johnnie Walter Red