"old fashion"

My gf and I of 3 years have been having this problem for a while. She is "old fashion" and thinks the guy should buy stuff to the girl, be romantic, and some other bull shit. I, however, believe in equality and that men and woman are the same and she be treated the same.

I believe that if a guy buy the girl a bunch of stuff and takes her out to dinner, so should the gril take out the guy. My gf doesnt' think that way, she totally doesn't see things like me.

What should we do?

 

Uh, break up.

You can't change people's morals or values. It just doesn't happen.

"She doesn't see things like me." <----- If she hasn't changed in three years (depending on her age)...then she's never going to change.

Sorry to burst your bubble.

 

dilli here no thhb,,, gotta agree with annie,,,, yer fukked if ya do n fukked if ya dont,,, aint gonna change one or the other n later on youll both begin to notice more n more differences,,,, ,,,

 

Yeah but its good to be different - just comprise occassionally and wind each other up about it the rest of the time.Don't throw your coat over a puddle though - I did that once and its just stupid - I mean - even you step on the coat your foot still gets wet - its a fine line between gentle man and knob head

 

dont expect her to chang, just like she shouldnt expect you to change. do you have a problem doing this kinda stuff? its all up to you. BUT let her know that you like it when she shows you she cares, even if that means a night out.

if you love her, leave money out of it.

 

Well, iuf youre demanding that if you take her out to dinner, she must do the same to you thats a little bit rich. You knkow, if youre not willing to to things for kindness,only because you believe you should get the favor returned then thatsprobably not a good attitude to have.

Perhaps you could talk some compromise. Expecting you to pay for everything isnt old fashioned, its selfish. While youre there spending your savings on things for her, she saving her pennies, and thats no good for a relationship because thats breeds resentment.

Perhaps the others are right, maybe you should breakup, somethings are just to central to peoples core belief systems to ever change, maybe you just arent really suited to one another

 

I like to be the one that takes ppl out, its fun for me, I enjoy making others happy. I mean alot of women are that way. Its not a bad thing just kinda maybe society as a norm the guy takes the woman out. Maybe its that whole protector thing or something who knows. You have done what was done for all that time why care now, I mean if that is the issue in the relationship it sounded a little weak then. Never sweat the small stuff, love her for who and what she is and does. Does she care for you, make you happy, is she honest and true to you, if she does that consider she is paying your way with her heart.

 

P.S. You do not need to go out as much and if its a money flow issue than she should be understanding that Paris Hilton has yet to bestow upon you her family wealth for sexual favors. Going out can be cheap or free man. Simple little picnic, just coffee and conversation, maybe a bag of popcorn and something to drink at the park so you can feed the birds too. Hell man be creative! Dont need an expense account to have fun! And yeah Paris has not paid me either, the cheap hussy.

 

We broke up about 5 months ago, for 3 months, and then got back together. We are both certain we love eachother and be with eachother, but this problem is an on and off problem. I do sometimes taker her out and such, but after a certain amount of time of not doing it, she suddenly forgets what I did and complains.

Someone said that it is bad that I am telling her to take me out too. I said that because never has she taken me out to a dinner or what not, and I have before. Why should I keep doing something if I am not getting anything in return? Some might say "you'll get her love and attention in return," well that is a pre-exsisting thing. She always gave me that and I always give her that too. The spending money on her part is unnecessary and is a complete social construct.

I don't expect her to change, and I love her enough to give into her stupid fantasies. HOWEVER, she does nothing romantic for me. She expects everything to come to her. Also it has going to the point where I am not sexy if I don't do these things! This stupid social construct has determined her sexual orientation for her.

 

but a relationship is not like what you get in return, I mean its not like a hooker you pay for. I dont mean you treat her that way and all but you kinda sounded like your paying for her and expect service for payment. I mean if she does not think it is romantic with out cash and that your not sexy without cash then well hell what is this whole relationship about? If that is what she is about money money money and your not then boy is there a serious issue there.

 

It doesn't sound like she respects you enough to think of you. However, does she have any source of money? If she is totally broke, it would be hard for her to buy you anything. If that is not the case, perhaps you should move on to find a woman who respects your wants and needs. If she really did love you, she would think more about you and less about herself.

When my bf and I first got together, he bought me food b/c I didn't have any money and he had a good paying job. Once I got some money, I treated him when I could. Now that he doesn't have a job and I have one, I do most of the buying. We provide for each other rather than turn it into a "I bought dinner last night" arangement. Relationships are about giving and taking, and it seems you give and give and give while she keeps taking.

Keep your options open because it doesn't sound like she cares THAT much about you. Well, enough as long you provide everything she wants...

Peace & love

 

Exactly, I mean that is a good relationship, even if the above never got money of her own, he did so out of love and she did not expect it or demand or hold over and niether did he, was a give take mutual thing. Good Love!

 

Well we both still live with our parents and we are both 19. I have my own business and get pretty good income from my age, but nothing special. Her family has the same amount of money as mine does, but she spends it like none other. She is also saving up for this trip, which leaves her with little money to spend. So she acts cheap with me when it was her choice to not have any money. Plus she has a job.

Whenever I tell her that she needs to stop acting selfish, she just says "well thats how I like things," and if you don't like it, its too bad.

She also tries insulting me by telling me to be more of a "man." And by man she means the old fashion man that does bitch work for the woman.

 

Move on... From your post, she sounds like an immature brat. Have fun while it lasts.

My bf and I were talking about girls who wear shirts that say "Spoiled Princess" and shit. I never really hung out with girls and he named a few girls that I knew who would wear those shirts. Sounds like your girlfriend is in that crowd. Do you really want to have a relationship with "spoiled brat", "daddy's princess" or "Bitch, the empowered femme"?

You deserve better, someone who respects you rather than act as her servant.

Peace & love

 

sounds like shes all take and no give.

Maybe ditching her isnt your favorite option, but you most definitely need to put her back in her place....give me a few minutes and I'll try and think of how

 

Well, for an update

we broke up today.

edit* You guys were also right, she was definitly not treating me well, thanks.

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good for you! Just remember that whatever you do to get someone, you have to keep doing to keep them. If you aren't cool with that, you shouldn't have ever done it in the first place. (((hugs)))

 

those are some wise words.

 

well man, just try and stick it out if you really REALLY love her, but if you don't i don't see the point of going on.

 

I know how you feel. Kinda sounds like she's self centered a little bit.